Illustration by Simon Kneebone For those watching closely this week, Rupert Murdoch’s tweets clearly signposted how the political scenario is likely to unfold over the next six months. There will be a snap election. The trigger for this will arise from either a leadership challenge or a double dissolution. The latter is the more probable of the…
Source: Incoming…! – » The Australian Independent Media Network
Source: ‘We’re sticking with the plan’
Prime Minister Tony Abbott has spent most of the past two days watching the coal industry’s TV commercial on high rotation.
The commercial, which shows close-up footage of a pristine piece of coal, has become an instant hit in the Abbott office.
“It’s been hard to get him to concentrate this week. It’s always just, ‘One more time’, or ‘Wait! This is my favourite bit!’” a frustrated staffer said. “He’s even managed to find a way to watch it in slow motion”.
Another staffer said Mr Abbott also regularly watched the video on his phone. “He’ll say something like ‘I’m just ducking out to get a coffee’, or ‘Just got to check a few messages’”. But we all know he’s sneaking off to watch the coal video in private. Productivity has dropped significantly,” she said.
At publication time the commercial had been viewed 38,000 times on YouTube. “32,000 of those are from the Prime Minister’s office,” the staffer said.
There’s a part of the story you might not have known.
Source: Trying to follow what is going on in Syria and why? This comic will get you there in 5 minutes.
BALTIMORE – (CT&P) – A team of distinguished physicians and Ph.D’s from Johns Hopkins who examined Sarah Palin during a recent trip to Baltimore has declared her legally dead.
While at Hopkins, Palin was subjected to a wide variety of tests including functional MRI, PET, EEG, and CAT scans, as well as a whole battery of other tests on her body and brain.
The leader of the team, Dr. Jay Baraban, a professor specializing in MicroRNA regulation of synaptic function, told CNN that the scientists found almost no electrical activity within Palin’s skull, indicating that Palin is basically a zombie.
“What we found was truly amazing,” said Baraban. “Ms Palin is basically a walking turnip. I’m amazed she has the ability to wipe her own ass.”
The team also found that Palin had little or no blood flow through her brain.
“The fMRI scan revealed that Palin’s brain is basically a fetid swamp,” said Dr. Jeremiah Cohen, an Assistant Professor of Neuroscience specializing in neural circuits for reward, mood, and decision-making. “I really don’t see how the woman can function at all. It’s no surprise to me that the bitch never makes any sense.”
The team’s findings are not legally binding, so no one should get their hopes up that Palin can be detained and placed in a facility where she can be studied for the freak of nature that she is. However, the proper authorities have been notified of her condition so she can be monitored until all her systems shut down or someone drives a spike through her head.
In a report on the impact of conflict on education in six countries and territories across the region, the United Nation’s children fund UNICEF said more than 8,85
Source: 13 million children denied education by Middle East wars – Your Middle East
Gulf analyst Michael Stephens examines the reasons why Gulf states are not taking in Syrian migrants.
Source: Migrant crisis: Why the Gulf states are not letting Syrians in – BBC News
There won’t be any political solution to the migrant crisis in the UK and the EU in general, until the European public pushes governments to act in a moral way and calls for more reforms, Raza Nadim, MPACUK member told RT.
Source: ‘Cameron’s shift on rhetoric on migrants – result of public pressure, not morals’ — RT Op-Edge
The Abbott Government wants to restrict any intake of Syrian refugees to minorities which are largely Christian.
the 8 countries that sent the most weapons to Syria since 2011 only accepted 2 percent of the refugees Germany has taken in.
Source: Nations that sent the most arms to Syria have accepted the fewest refugees
Two of them were British nationals. It happened in Raqqah in Syria more than two weeks ago.Emma Hayward reports.
Source: Uk Used Drone to Kill Three Members of ISIL | Al Jazeera America
Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu on Sunday said he would not allow Israel to be “submerged” by refugees after calls for the Jewish state to take in those fleeing
Source: Netanyahu says will not allow Israel to be ‘submerged’ by refugees – Your Middle East
“There were three gradations of inveracity – there were lies, there were damned lies, and there were statistics” (Arthur Balfour, 1892) You may have noticed that Abbott and other members of the front bench regularly throw around numbers and statistics to back up what they’re saying. Numbers and statistics are quantifiable, so when they are used, they…
Source: Abbott: Master of lies, damned lies and statistics – » The Australian Independent Media Network
Jorge Ramos has been accused of blurring the distinction between journalism and activism; so have I.
Source: Why journalists have a duty to disrupt | The Electronic Intifada
The aims behind forcing car makers to close were superficial, and the ramifications will be dreadful.
EXCLUSIVE: The Abbott administration has dropped a major reform to competition law after big business allegedly threatened an anti-government campaign.
Tony Abbott has more to lose from the Canning by-election outcome than Bill Shorten, but both men have stooped to either whipping up foreigner-anxiety or appeasing xenophobia in order to maximise their party’s vote.
Source: Leaders whip up foreigner fear to win Canning – The Drum (Australian Broadcasting Corporation)
Senator would receive backing of 41% of Democrats to Clinton’s 32% as Clinton holds shrinking lead in Iowa, NBC finds
Source: Bernie Sanders leads Hillary Clinton in New Hampshire by nine points – poll | US news | The Guardian
What with nice Nazis, and the East Coast Twitterati on a jihad to bring down the Government, it’s been a busy week in Australian politics. Managing editor Dave Donovan hyperventilates.
Source: Hey, hysterical East Coast Twitterati — give the Liberals a fair go
The rich gulf city of Dubai is once again set to dazzle the world, this time with a giant 880 metre middle finger dedicated to those fleeing nearby countries.
The 200-story structure, to be built next week by 20,000 underpaid Indian workers, will join the growing list of attractions in the United Arab Emirates city.
Noting that the structure will be the biggest dismissive gesture in the world, a spokesperson for Dubai Tourism said the building will feature shopping malls, an indoor ski field, and a luxury hotel. “The highlight for many will be the seven-star restaurant at the top of the middle finger, with views stretching as far as Syria,” the spokesperson said.
But the height record may be short-lived, with nearby Saudi Arabia today announcing that it has its own plans to build a giant middle finger, possibly as tall as 900 metres.
Neighboring Qatar meanwhile said it was considering plans to offer temporary shelter to asylum seekers, possibly underneath 20 spare Ferraris no longer in use.
LOS ANGELES -(CT&P) – A team of psychiatrists, psychologists, and graduate level researchers from UCLA tasked with keeping tabs on right-wing nut jobs has released a statement saying that they believe talk show host Glenn Beck has reached the point where he could snap and break with reality at any moment.
Beck, a historical revisionist, conspiracy theorist, and all around delusional fuckwit, runs his own media company, and has long been a magnet for weak-minded members of society.
Dr. John Bigboote, who leads the team at UCLA, told CNN that the mere fact that Beck has so many followers in the United States is alarming and does not bode well for the future of the country.
“Beck is one crazy fuck,” said Bigboote. “He thinks the world is run by a combination of the Illuminati and some unnamed dark force that lurks just beyond the asteroid belt. He has a massive messiah complex, and when you combine that with his multiple conspiracy theories and fucked up interpretation of history, well, it makes for a volatile mixture.”
Dr. John Yaya and Professor John Small Berries, other members of the prestigious research team, agree.
“Beck spent an entire hour of his radio program interviewing Jonathan Cahn, a huckster of the highest order, about his “Mystery of the Shemitah” theory, which postulates that some massive calamity — possibly an economic meltdown, possibly a terrorist attack, possibly a natural disaster — is going to strike the United States on September 13,” said Dr. Yaya. “This kind of crap is better suited for some kind of steam punk comic book than serious television. It shows just how close Beck is to losing it.”
“That’s right,” said Professor Small Berries. “Beck thinks that America has reached some kind of ‘tipping point’ that will push us over into certain doom. The term is taking the dim-witted, weak minded evangelical crowd by storm. You can’t swing a cat without hitting the term ‘tipping point’ on the internet. These people truly believe that civil rights for all, marriage equality, and progressive ideas such as health care for the poor are going to lead to our destruction. They’re truly delusional.”
The UCLA team is set to publish their findings in next month’s edition of Psychology Today.
“Hopefully people will listen to us this time,” said Bigboote. “We accurately forecast Urban Meyer’s break with reality but University of Florida officials ignored our warnings, and look what happened; the Gators are having trouble defeating high school caliber opponents.
“Our sincere hope is that Beck can be institutionalized and get the help he needs so badly before something horrible happens to him or his loved ones. The sooner we get this fucking lunatic off the air the better.”
When first confronted by the devastating image of drowned three year old Aylan Kurdi in my newsfeed I reacted more with cynicism than shock. Even the traditionally progressive Guardian seems to have joined in the mass media outcry for Western intervention in Syria to end the current humanitarian crisis. Critics have seized on this with…
Source: Sure, let’s go bomb Syria. Why not? – » The Australian Independent Media Network
Unlike Lebanon or Turkey dealing with over two million asylum seekers, the EU is not really facing ‘a crisis’, said Anas El Gomati of the Libya-based Sadeq Institute think tank. European politicians are flaming xenophobic sentiment to get political power, he adds.
Source: ‘EU migrant crisis created by political elite for electoral benefits’ — RT Op-Edge
The government has ceased processing citizenship applications from boat-arrival refugees entitled to become Australians, leaving hundreds in limbo.
Source: Secret freeze on refugee citizenship processes | The Saturday Paper
The family of Alan Kurdi were, along with thousands of Syrian Kurds, in limbo in Turkey.
Source: Alan Kurdi death: A Syrian Kurdish family forced to flee – BBC News
Two Liberal premiers and several cabinet ministers call for action, with Mike Baird saying ‘NSW remains ready and willing to do more than our fair share’
The outpouring of generosity by German residents has been so substantial, police in Munich have become “overwhelmed.”
Source: German People Are Giving So Much To Migrants, The Police Had To Ask Them To Stop
The UNSUBTLEBERG family – MOTHER, FATHER, BROTHER and SISTER – are driving along a lonely country road, on their way to camping holiday. MOTHER: Wait, what’s that?! Stop the car! [They screech to a halt…
Source: A Philosophical Dialogue (That May Or May Not Have Something To Do With Recent Events)
Earlier this week, Thom Mitchell broke an important story on the New Matilda website, related to the massive expansion of a $130 million port on Tiwi Islands, which was done without any environmental oversight.FOI documents revealed the massive expansion of the port on Tiwi Islands – home to 38 endangered species – was missed by the Abbott Government because staff were “overworked” and investigators may have been lied to.
Source: We Need Your Help To Make Environment Minister Greg Hunt’s Incompetence Go Viral | newmatilda.com
Border Force is the contrivance of a knot of ambitious bureaucrats whose aim is to militarise Immigration.
Viktor Orban says history of Ottoman rule means Hungarians will not accept large-scale Muslim immigration
Source: Hungary Prime Minister Says Muslims Not Welcome | Al Jazeera America
Immigration Minister Peter Dutton signs papers ordering the deportation of Sydney bikie boss Sam Ibrahim.
There’s something very unsettling about the prime minister invocation of a fictitious Nazi sense of shame as part of his moral account of the Islamic State
Lesley Williams, 68, suffered racial discrimination as an Aboriginal mother raising three kids alone. Her daughter, Tammy, 37, is a barrister who has recorded her mum’s stories for a new book.
The former head of the ADF signs an open letter to the Prime Minister, opposing bombing raids in Syria.
Kevin Andrew is all for them
An Australian air strike against Islamic State in Iraq may have caused civilian casualties, according to a document obtained by the ABC.
The evil Death Cult wreaking havoc across the Middle East has absolutely no regard for human life, and its victims should under no circumstances try to escape on a boat, leaked Government talking points confirmed today.
“Thank goodness we’re doing everything we can to stop this Death Cult and to stop people fleeing this Death Cult,” Prime Minister Tony Abbott said today.
Mr Abbott appealed directly to Syrians under threat from the Death Cult. “Let me remind anyone considering running from this brutal, medieval, blood-thirsty, ruthless, callous Death Cult to think very carefully before doing anything silly. Like getting on a maritime vessel to escape it”.
WASHINGTON -(CT&P) – Last night Republican presidential candidate and religious kook Dr. Ben Carson warned that excessive jail time could turn Rowan County Clerk Kim Davis gay.
Appearing on the Sean Hannity Show on Fox News, Carson said that Davis faced a big decision: she could either stop having sex for the duration of her sentence, or join the “dark side”and “go queer.”
The unhinged ex-neurosurgeon said that Davis’ voracious appetite for sex would very likely be her downfall.
“I’m sympathetic to her plight,” said Carson. “We all have sexual urges that we just can’t control, God knows I do. Jail time can be stressful and quite often people jump on whatever’s available when they’re incarcerated. It’s an effective stress reliever. Problem is, it sometimes it leads to lifelong homosexuality and eternity in the fiery depths of Hell.
“I don’t think that Ms Davis’ habit of fucking anything that moves is suddenly going to go away simply because she’s in jail. She more than likely will come out the other end a self-described homo.”
Carson, who despite being an insane fuckwit who thinks the earth is 6,000 years old, is second in the Republican race for the presidential nomination.
The latest figures on the health of the Australian economy as shown in the June 2015 quarter National Accounts continues to paint a gloomy picture. Meanwhile, the spin that Treasurer Joe Hockey and Finance Minister Mathias Cormann offer, is priceless. It seems the thrust of their argument is that it doesn’t matter how bad the…
Source: Economy Heading South. No One at the Helm. – » The Australian Independent Media Network
In 1957 a little blue-eyed boy was sat on the desk of the Australian High Commission in Sri Lanka and closely appraised. His parents had applied to migrate to Australia, but his aunts and uncles had already been knocked back.On paper they were European descent and English speaking, as they needed to be in order to pass the test of Australia’s Immigration Restriction Act (1901) – the White Australia policy.
Source: A Little Brown-Eyed Babe Washed Ashore | newmatilda.com
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