Category: Humour

What fate awaits PM Morrison? – » The Australian Independent Media Network

WTF? Yep, I mean it. Morrison is that bad. Dutton will ensure a massacre of Tories come the next election. Morrison will be suitably discarded and humiliated – it will be a huge blow to his unshakable belief that his reign was god ordained. He can slink away crestfallen and fall off the edge of his flat earth leaving a skidmark and a legacy of worst PM ever.

Merry Christmas!

via What fate awaits PM Morrison? – » The Australian Independent Media Network

Australian Movies Must Now Include At Least One Road In A Lead Role, After Arts Department Dissolved Into Department For Infrastructure & Transport – The Shovel

Screenshot_2019-12-07 The Nation – The Shovel.png

via Australian Movies Must Now Include At Least One Road In A Lead Role, After Arts Department Dissolved Into Department For Infrastructure & Transport – The Shovel

Are Australian banks and businesses free to do whatever they want? It certainly feels like it | First Dog on the Moon | Opinion | The Guardian

 

Screenshot_2019-11-24 Are Australian banks and businesses free to do whatever they want It certainly feels like it First Do[...].pngvia Are Australian banks and businesses free to do whatever they want? It certainly feels like it | First Dog on the Moon | Opinion | The Guardian

And It Really Does Send You Blind Or My Conversion On The Road To Damascus… – » The Australian Independent Media Network

 

Instead of using reason and evidence, perhaps we should start saying things that will split the Coalition. Here’s a list of ten possible ways to wedge the Liberal Party which you could use for Twitter or a letter to the Editor:

via And It Really Does Send You Blind Or My Conversion On The Road To Damascus… – » The Australian Independent Media Network

The Australian Blames Malfunctioning Printer For Accidentally Blanking Out The Words ‘ABC’, ‘Safe Schools’ and ‘Gender Wars’ On Front Page – The Shovel

Screenshot_2019-10-25 Entertainment – The Shovel.pngvia The Australian Blames Malfunctioning Printer For Accidentally Blanking Out The Words ‘ABC’, ‘Safe Schools’ and ‘Gender Wars’ On Front Page – The Shovel

The most ruthlessly honest president of modern times: a thousand days of Trump

President Donald Trump on Wednesday, his 1000th day in office.

Ch9 has taken over The AGE and we get Goebellian banners like this thrust in our faces. !4,000 fact checked lies since Trump took offce and I suuggest that’s being kind and our Age declares an American cross between Hitler and Mussolini as being “Brutally Honest”. Ch9 is set on outdoing Murdoch Media it seems. Tomorrow we’ll see editorials the racining is suffering badly for the lack of abbottoirs and Morrisson really is a working classman. Australia we’d all be wastage if it weren’t foe the ABC. Walpole’s irony escapes us all. (ODT)

Taking all this into account – most especially, what this pattern means in terms of Trump governing as he promised to do when he campaigned in 2016 – Trump has been the most ruthlessly honest president in modern times.

Which is why his base loves him.

via The most ruthlessly honest president of modern times: a thousand days of Trump

BREAKING: Illuminati disendorse Donald Trump for 2020 U.S. presidential race

Many speculate the Illuminati, in concert with several other shadowy groups, were critical in delivering the U.S. presidency to the former reality TV star last year.

This unexpected move by the powerful cult is seen by most commentators as a severe blow to Trump’s chances of re-election in the presidential race next year.

via BREAKING: Illuminati disendorse Donald Trump for 2020 U.S. presidential race

Trump’s way with words

Screenshot_2019-10-18 Facebook.png

(“The United States and Italy are bound together by a shared cultural and political heritage dating back thousands of years to Ancient Rome.”)

The face of the interpreter of the white house that must translate to mattarella the words of trump while claiming that the United States and Italy share a cultural legacy that dates back to thousands of years ago, to say, since ancient Rome.

(“The United States and Italy are bound together by a shared cultural and political heritage dating back thousands of years to Ancient Rome.”)

Ita, Tim Wilson, Peter Dutton And The Water Boy… – » The Australian Independent Media Network

Anyway, I couldn’t help but feel that there was a little bit of inconsistency being shown here. I don’t just mean because Dutton is suggesting that we should be arresting our own protestors, while Wilson is disrupting traffic in another country. I’m talking about our position on China.

via Ita, Tim Wilson, Peter Dutton And The Water Boy… – » The Australian Independent Media Network

Cartoonist David Rowe on Donald Trump, Australian politics and why ‘it’s almost too easy’ – Politics – ABC News (Australian Broadcasting Corporation)

David Rowe cartoon on Donald Trump.

via Cartoonist David Rowe on Donald Trump, Australian politics and why ‘it’s almost too easy’ – Politics – ABC News (Australian Broadcasting Corporation)

The Streisand Effect – Clive Palmer forgot about that

The Streisand Effect: lawyers’ threats backfire amid the rising trade in hurt feelings

Clive Palmer is suing YouTube sensation Jordan Shanks for defamation. Instead of capitulating however, Shanks doubled down and tore strips off Palmer in the funniest response to a legal threat yet. If you have been legally threatened in similar ways – we want to hear about it – click here to let us know – the Streisand effect may work in your favour.

The Streisand Effect – Clive Palmer forgot about that

Downer, The Spy Who Gave In What He Was Told… – » The Australian Independent Media Network

It seems just a few days ago that the Liberals were telling us how good they’ve been at creating jobs. I suppose if you use the word “creating” in the sense of a making up a thing that’s not really there, then one would have to agree.

Then again, Scottie is very helpful these days. When it was discovered that one of the councils being given drought relief was actually experiencing a bumper season, our PM told us that he made no apology for being generous… which would be fine, were it not for the fact that the councils to which he was so generous didn’t seem to be in any Labor electorates. I’m mildly surprised that the metropolitan electorate of Chisholm wasn’t given drought relief, not because it’s a marginal electorate, but because city people have to pay higher food prices thanks to the drought…

And then there’s the NDIS which is so generous that it had more money than people needed. How else do you explain the $4.5 billion in unspent funds this financial year? Incompetence in its administration? Ridiculous. The Coalition is in charge! An obsession with returning the Budget to surplus no matter who suffers? You cynic! As if the government would do such a thing.

via Downer, The Spy Who Gave In What He Was Told… – » The Australian Independent Media Network

Shut Up, Greta, We Want To Hear From The Experts! – » The Australian Independent Media Network

Whatever, the CO2 Coalition have a nifty website and several of them have degrees in Physics, so that makes them an expert in climate science. Similarly, my degree makes me and expert in brain surgery, so if you need a tumour removed…

via Shut Up, Greta, We Want To Hear From The Experts! – » The Australian Independent Media Network

The Best Form Of Charity Is To Be A Billionaire… – » The Australian Independent Media Network

When the Liberals suggest that the best form of welfare is a job, they are using the word “welfare” in a way that suggests that the health and happiness of someone unemployed would be better if they were to have a job, rather than “welfare” meaning financial support given to someone in need. While this is obvious enough, it’s only when we stop and use the word “welfare” in the question and replace the ambiguous word with something else that we get the full subtext.

“Will you be increasing welfare payments to the unemployed?”

“We believe that the best way of improving their situation would be to get them a job.”

“So how will you be getting them a job?”

“By telling them that if they have a go, they’ll get a go.”

“But what about the ones who still don’t get a job? Will you increase welfare payments to them?”

“No, because only a job will help them. Giving people financial support when they’re out of work is no substitute for that.”

“But what if they don’t still don’t get a job?”

“Look, unemployment support is only meant to be a temporary thing, so if people don’t get a job, it’s their problem.”

via The Best Form Of Charity Is To Be A Billionaire… – » The Australian Independent Media Network

How Good Is Communism? OR ScoMo The Trotskyist – » The Australian Independent Media Network

Mm, and then there’s Gladys Liu. While she may not be a card carrying member of the Chinese Communist Party, she’s certainly belonged to organisations which are meant to advance China’s interests in other countries. When Scottie hears this, does he announce that he’ll ask the security forces to check it out? No, he calls her a great Australian and accuses people of racism for even suggesting that there are questions to answer.

Good on him, says the Chinese newspaper. (This is real, I’m not making it up).

Now imagine if Jeremy Corbyn or Bill Shorten had introduced a card to control people’s spending, presided over raids on journalists and then was praised by the Communists for standing up for a possible Chinese propaganda stooge. Yeah, I can see the Murdoch press calling for their extradition to Guatanamo Bay as a threat to the nation.
–– ADVERTISEMENT ––

But Scott, it seems, is ok right up until he says, How Good is the Socialist state?

via How Good Is Communism? OR ScoMo The Trotskyist – » The Australian Independent Media Network

What George Carlin Taught Us About Media Propaganda by Omission: On Bernie Sanders, Medicare for All, and the Green New Deal | The Smirking Chimp

What George Carlin Taught Us About Media Propaganda by Omission: On Bernie Sanders, Medicare for All, and the Green New Deal | The Smirking Chimp

The Wonderfully Compliant Druggie Dole Bludger! – » The Australian Independent Media Network

Channel 9, when not hosting Liberal fundraisers, are one of the nation’s top investigative units. Take “A Current Affair”. More than twenty years after they found the Paxton family and managed to portray them to the nation as work-shy bludgers, they’ve found another candidate for the public pillory.

The promo for tomorrow’s episode tells us: “HE’S UNEMPLOYED, 30, ON WELFARE AND HE SPENDS IT ON DRUGS!”

via The Wonderfully Compliant Druggie Dole Bludger! – » The Australian Independent Media Network

Holy shite! – » The Australian Independent Media Network

 

With the rapture pending he does not care a jot for the health of the  planet – why should he, it’s all going to end soon. He’s King Cnut; trying to hold back the progressive tides until Armageddon. Unluckily for him it’s the unfolding climate disasters and a tanking economy that will see  his acolytes start to abandon the pews. Morrison has a messiah complex, but despite his mushroom politics he cannot hide the incompetence and graft, his spin has spun and in the battle of ideas he’s left holding the beers. Without his religion he’s got nothing but a smirk.

It won’t be too long before the dak shatter goes terminal and the hairless Hitler, Spud-Dutton, seizes his chance. Heaven help us!

Holy shite! – » The Australian Independent Media Network

 

Scott Morrison Calls For Newstart Recipients To Provide Vial Of Blood, To Prove How Much They’re Willing To Bleed For This Country – The Shovel

Screenshot_2019-09-11 The Nation – The Shovel.png

via Scott Morrison Calls For Newstart Recipients To Provide Vial Of Blood, To Prove How Much They’re Willing To Bleed For This Country – The Shovel

The Economy Has Gone Bad But What Can A Treasurer Do? >sigh< – » The Australian Independent Media Network

You gotta laugh at not with the man (ODT)

Liberal Treasurer has almost no control over things unless their good things and then it’s all down to the superior ability to control the Beast, household spending, the weather of whatever it’s being compared to in the latest attempt to make it clear that even though the debt has doubled and growth has stalled and we’re fiddling with how we judge success on the unemployment front, the Coalition Treasurer still had everything under control and the fundamentals are just fine.

What are the fundamentals?

They’re anything we can point to and say, “See that’s not so bad, is it?”

via The Economy Has Gone Bad But What Can A Treasurer Do? >sigh< – » The Australian Independent Media Network

Let’s Allow Meth Labs In Northern Queensland To Reduce Their Unemployment… – » The Australian Independent Media Network

Damn, I was intending to write something about Andrew Bolt and his defence of the magazine that confused the picture of that black model with a picture of some other black person which wasn’t a problem because don’t they all look alike and that’s not racist. I was intending to label a photo of Joseph Goebbels and then apologise by saying that it’s an easy mistake to make because all Nazis look alike to me.

But of course that’s a cheap and pathetic shot. Andrew is not a Nazi. Neither does he have the capacity of Goebbels for clever sophistry, so I’d be wrong on two counts.

via Let’s Allow Meth Labs In Northern Queensland To Reduce Their Unemployment… – » The Australian Independent Media Network

A is for Adani, B is for Brexit, C is for Scott Morrison… – » The Australian Independent Media Network

I started writing something about the Sri Lankan family currently being held on Christmas Island. Apparently the two year old was separated from her mother and cried the whole flight and I had this nice little dialogue about how separating children from their parents was a good thing because it deterred people from coming here – at least by boat – and therefore it saved people from drowning…

I stopped because I suddenly realised that we were hearing much the same thing from Peter Dutton and, well, I sort of lost my taste for trying to outdo the man and actually come up with something that can exaggerate him to the point of satire. It made me remember how his wife wondered why people think that he’s a monster when he’s quite nice when he’s at home… That’s really good to know. I’m relieved that he doesn’t keep his own children behind razor wire or use the excuse that he’s only exposing his wife to psychological torture as a deterrent to his children.

via A is for Adani, B is for Brexit, C is for Scott Morrison… – » The Australian Independent Media Network