Category: Humour

“When It Rains Everyone Gets A Rising Tide To Lift All Boats!” says Scott Morrison – » The Australian Independent Media Network

Anyway, back in Canberra the Saviour was able to quickly explain the situation in aged care facilities:

The challenges are not unique to Australia so don’t try and blame the Federal Government who is responsible for the regulation of aged care.
It’s inevitable that Covid-19 will get into aged care facilities because of the high rate of community infection.
It’s being brought in by staff and not spontaneously appearing in the residents who are under lockdown and not allowed to leave.
Brendan Murphy still agrees with Morrison even though he’s no longer CMO but he’s always available for a press conference.
“When it rains, everyone gets wet.” This I presume is because the profit motive is so strong and the regulations so lax in Aged Care Facilities that there’s no necessity to fix the holes in the roof.

via “When It Rains Everyone Gets A Rising Tide To Lift All Boats!” says Scott Morrison – » The Australian Independent Media Network

We Can’t Change Our History, But We Can Make It More Expensive! – » The Australian Independent Media Network

When the Prime Minister made the bold assertion that there was no slavery in Australia, many were quick to point out his poor knowledge of our history forcing Morrison to correct himself. Of course, many people would have left it as that, but not our leader.

No, we can’t have all these elites telling the PM that he’s wrong, so he sprung into action and doubled the price of doing a Humanities course at university. That’ll teach those smart-arises to correct him.

via We Can’t Change Our History, But We Can Make It More Expensive! – » The Australian Independent Media Network

Irony is DEAD: Axed episode of Fawlty Towers shows that UKTV fun sponges have lost all sense of reality — RT Op-ed

Irony is DEAD: Axed episode of Fawlty Towers shows that UKTV fun sponges have lost all sense of reality

Britains Ministry of laughter demand all jokes attempts at mockery and irony be submitted for approval before release.(ODT)

via Irony is DEAD: Axed episode of Fawlty Towers shows that UKTV fun sponges have lost all sense of reality — RT Op-ed

They Tell Me The Internet Is Down; I Know Bill Gates Is To Blame… – » The Australian Independent Media Network

It does strike me as a little premature for the Treasurer and others to start saying that whatever we spend now will have to be paid back. While we need a nuanced discussion about the best way to get the economy roaring along like the turtle it was pre-Coronavirus, to tweet something like that seems a bit premature. Like a doctor telling a family just before someone has surgery that the bill will need to be paid even if the patient dies.

It’s true, but it does make him sound as though the main thing on his mind is the health of his bank balance rather than the health of his patient.

via They Tell Me The Internet Is Down; I Know Bill Gates Is To Blame… – » The Australian Independent Media Network

Coronavirus: Trump reveals Homeland study claiming COVID-19 struggles to survive in sunlight, heat

US President Donald Trump encouraged Americans to go outside into the sun.

There’s China the doers and the along came the dumber than (ODT)

“Then I see the disinfectant, where it knocks it out in a minute, one minute, and is there a way we can do something like that by injection inside, or almost a cleaning?” Trump asked Bryan from Homeland Security.

He then asked Deborah Birx, the physician co-ordinating the White House’s coronavirus taskforce: “I would like you to speak to the medical doctors to see if there’s any way you can apply light and heat to cure. You know? If you could. And maybe you can, maybe you can’t.”

Birx said she had not seen any evidence that heat or UV rays could be used as a treatment for the virus.

Health experts immediately warned that sunlight was not a “miracle cure” for COVID-19 and that people should not try to treat it by tanning – especially given the risks of developing skin cancer.

On Friday, China announced it donated a further $US30 million ($47 million) to the World Health Organisation following Donald Trump’s decision to halt funding, amid concerns the UN agency is too “China-centric”.

Chinese Foreign Ministry spokesman Geng Shuang said the extra funds would help the WHO contain the virus and support developing countries in improving their public health systems.

“At this critical moment, support for WHO helps to strengthen multilateralism and the UN,” Shuang said.

via Coronavirus: Trump reveals Homeland study claiming COVID-19 struggles to survive in sunlight, heat

Scott Morrison More Popular Than Jesus And Closing In On The Beatles! – » The Australian Independent Media Network

Yes, it’s just a few weeks ago that Josh and Scott were telling us that Labor handn’t delivered a surplus since last century, but if you want to go back through history, it’s worth remembering that the only Liberal Treasurer to deliver a surplus in the last forty years is Peter Costello, who did it during the mining boom. Let’s not even point out his selling off of assets like our gold reserves for bargain prices.

I’ll just leave you with one final thought as we approach Anzac Day: Conservatives seem to have an obsession with everyone remembering what happened over a century ago , while demanding we all forget what happened last week!

Scott Morrison More Popular Than Jesus And Closing In On The Beatles! – » The Australian Independent Media Network

A Serf in the time of plague … – » The Australian Independent Media Network

From the Barons: “Keep ’em housed. Keep ’em fed. Promise ’em anything to keep ’em quiet. Once the Plague has passed we’ll march right back in again and walk all over ’em. The power, and the entitlement, remains ours!”

via A Serf in the time of plague … – » The Australian Independent Media Network

Scott Morrison Quiet – Is He Isolated With Covid-19 Or In Hawaii? – » The Australian Independent Media Network

So, maybe Scottie could go on television, and explain away my concerns. Or maybe he really has been struck down and is being kept in quarantine.

Nah, surely we’d be told.

via Scott Morrison Quiet – Is He Isolated With Covid-19 Or In Hawaii? – » The Australian Independent Media Network

Scott Morrison Dazzles At The National Press Club… – » The Australian Independent Media Network

Speaking of urgency, how long do you think it’ll take for that report on whether Bridget McKenzie breached ministerial standards to reach the PM’s desk? It’s been a week and nothing yet. I mean, it’s not like they need to wait for DNA samples to come back from the lab.

But I guess it’s hard to convince someone to take one for the team when everyone else is playing for themselves.

via Scott Morrison Dazzles At The National Press Club… – » The Australian Independent Media Network