Category: Humour

EDITORIAL EXCERPT: The Racist Centre for Western Civilisation

Conservatives are up in arms after the Australian National University (ANU) announced last Friday it would not proceed with a Ramsay Centre for Western Civilisation-sponsored degree.

ANU Vice Chancellor Professor Brian Schmidt told ABC 7.30 last week that the University broke off negotiations after six months because it was concerned the Ramsay Centre wanted too much control over the potential course:

… the centre was asking for a level of influence in our staffing and curriculum unprecedented with any other donor we’ve ever dealt with.

And so, it is that that undermines the academic autonomy of the university, and it is that which caused us to decide to withdraw from negotiations.

Luckily, Professor Schmidt sensed, just in the nick of time, that extreme rightwing politicians were seeking to use his institution as a cat’s paw to seed an ugly and outmoded ideology into the minds of our young people.

Abbott tried the same with Dr bjorn Lomborg and is now proving he’s a one dimensional thinker (ODT)

via EDITORIAL EXCERPT: The Racist Centre for Western Civilisation

‘Western Culture Is Superior’, Tony Abbott Says, As Poo Jogger Puts Finishing Touches To 32nd Public Dump – The Shovel

In a busy news day yesterday, former Prime Minister Tony Abbott said Western culture was better than other cultures, and Brisbane executive Andrew Douglas Macintosh took a sh*t on a public Brisbane street.

Launching a book called How Political Correctness is Destroying Australia, Mr Abbott said Australia was superior to many nations; the poo was left in a hot, steaming pile.

It is not the first time Mr Abbott has proclaimed the superiority of Western culture; it is the 32nd time Mr Macintosh has taken a sh*t in public.

 

via ‘Western Culture Is Superior’, Tony Abbott Says, As Poo Jogger Puts Finishing Touches To 32nd Public Dump – The Shovel

Schadenfreude-a-plenty as far-right leader’s clothes nicked at swim

A prominent far-right leader who dismissed the Nazi era as mere bird poop on Germany’s 1000-year history was swimming in a lake near his house one evening recently, when a man on the shore grabbed his clothes.

The thief’s parting words: “Nazis don’t need bathing fun!”

via Schadenfreude-a-plenty as far-right leader’s clothes nicked at swim

Trump Fascinated By Israeli Cultural Tradition Of Mass Slaughter Of Protesters

WASHINGTON—After spending the better part of Monday afternoon watching live television coverage of the demonstrations in the hotly contested Gaza Strip, Donald Trump declared himself “absolutely fascinated” by the Israeli cultural tradition of slaughtering protestors. “It’s very beautiful, such a beautiful custom,” said Trump of the cherished Israeli pastime of mowing down unarmed Palestinians with rifle fire. “They’ve been doing this for years, but this is the first time I got a chance to watch the whole ritual. It’s really something, very powerful. Other countries use just tear gas, but here, they outright murder people for throwing glass bottles. I can really see something like this catching on in the United States.” Trump added he was “particularly moved” by the portion of the festivities that celebrated a 13-year-old Palestinian boy becoming a dead man.

 

via Trump Fascinated By Israeli Cultural Tradition Of Mass Slaughter Of Protesters

Other 193 Countries Begin Insulting Mike Pence In Hopes Of Avoiding Future Meetings With Trump

BERLIN—Leaping at the chance to never again deal with the U.S. after North Korea’s disparaging remarks towards the vice president, leaders from the other 193 nations of the world began insulting Mike Pence Thursday in hopes of avoiding future meetings with President Donald Trump. “Mike Pence is just a dumbfuck partisan hack who doesn’t have the faintest clue about international relations or running a country,” said German Chancellor Angela Merkel, joining nearly 200 other presidents and prime ministers who mercilessly degraded Pence as “cowardly,” “full of crap,” and “repulsive” in a concerted effort to stave off any more direct contact with Trump or have him ever visit their countries. “Mike Pence was a shit governor of a shit state, and he’s as incompetent as he is ugly. Just a pandering, feckless asshole with the personality and intelligence of roadkill. Meeting him in person was one of the worst encounters of our lives—he and his whole family can go fuck themselves.” World leaders finished their comments by adding that if there were any justice in the world, Mike Pence would rot away alone in the dank halls of a federal penitentiary.

Another 193 Countries Begin Insulting Mike Pence In Hopes Of Avoiding Future Meetings With Trump

Unemployed London Man Marries Successful Hollywood Actress – The Shovel

In a fairytale love story that has captured hearts across the world, a retired army officer from England has married a popular American actress in a glamorous ceremony watched by millions.

via Unemployed London Man Marries Successful Hollywood Actress – The Shovel

‘I was going to get this over with’: Inside Giuliani’s explosive Stormy revelation

Trump says Giuliani misspoke, needs to 'get facts straight' on Stormy

Giuliani’s attempt to defuse a ticking time bomb exposed Trump’s failure to divulge the full story about the Daniels hush money and highlighted contradictory public statements from him and White House spokesmen. One month ago, Trump told reporters that he did not know about the payment to Daniels, whose real name is Stephanie Clifford, or where Cohen got the money to make it.

Aides and advisers to the president – who were scrambling on Thursday morning to manage the fallout of Giuliani’s interview with Sean Hannity, a Trump-friendly Fox News Channel host who also has been a Cohen client – expressed a mixture of exasperation and horror. One White House official texted a reporter a string of emoji characters in response, including a tiny container of popcorn.
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via ‘I was going to get this over with’: Inside Giuliani’s explosive Stormy revelation

Michelle Wolf has nothing to apologise for. Her critics do, though | Arwa Mahdawi | Opinion | The Guardian

sarah huckabee

Let me tell you a few deplorable things that happened in America this weekend. Nearly 43 million people woke up in poverty in the richest country in the world. And 3.2 million Americans woke up without health insurance. A further 36 people died because of gun violence, bringing the total number of gun deaths in the US this year to 4,627.

via Michelle Wolf has nothing to apologise for. Her critics do, though | Arwa Mahdawi | Opinion | The Guardian

Pauline Hanson Withdraws Support For Monarchy After Learning Kate Middleton Is In Labor – The Shovel

“When my staffer told me today that Kate Middleton was in Labor, I didn’t believe him at first. But then I saw it was all over the news,” Ms Hanson said. “Is she part of the royal union or something? I thought they were supposed to stay out of politics”.

via Pauline Hanson Withdraws Support For Monarchy After Learning Kate Middleton Is In Labor – The Shovel

North Korean Man Flees South To Escape Brutal, Sadistic Regime – The Shovel

As the world’s opinion of North Korea’s leader begins to soften, the escapee warned people to be careful. “The guy’s a maniac. Unpredictable, erratic, cruel. I wouldn’t believe a word he said”.

I saw Donald Trump’s Twitter posts

via North Korean Man Flees South To Escape Brutal, Sadistic Regime – The Shovel