GLADYS BEREJIKLIAN: Well, I don’t want to give too much away, David, but I will say this: after I pop down to Officeworks and pick up a bigger shredder, I may or may not be moving to Canberra to take up a front bench seat in my dear, dear friend Scotty’s Government.
Source: Outgoing NSW Premier Gladys ‘The Great’ Berejiklian joins ‘Insniders’
Interviewer: Tonight, we have Mr Judas Iscariot who is speaking out in the hope that it will help others in a similar situation. Good evening, Mr Iscariot. Judas: Judas, please. Mr Iscariot is so formal. Interviewer: Why have you waited so long before speaking out? Judas: Well, as you know, I was kicked out of the Disciples and after that, I pretty much hit rock bottom. I had no friends and no place to stay. I was in a really dark place for a while but then I thought that I owed it to people to let them know the truth. Interviewer: Which is? Judas: Basically it was all Jesus’ fault. I mean, he knew what I was going to do and he pretty much gave me his blessing. He said that I should do what I had to quickly… And I did. These days there’s a lot of confusion about consent, but I think it’s pretty clear that he wasn’t objecting.
Source: All Judas Needed Was Channel 7! Hitler May Have Needed More… – » The Australian Independent Media Network
Anyway, back in Canberra the Saviour was able to quickly explain the situation in aged care facilities:
The challenges are not unique to Australia so don’t try and blame the Federal Government who is responsible for the regulation of aged care.
It’s inevitable that Covid-19 will get into aged care facilities because of the high rate of community infection.
It’s being brought in by staff and not spontaneously appearing in the residents who are under lockdown and not allowed to leave.
Brendan Murphy still agrees with Morrison even though he’s no longer CMO but he’s always available for a press conference.
“When it rains, everyone gets wet.” This I presume is because the profit motive is so strong and the regulations so lax in Aged Care Facilities that there’s no necessity to fix the holes in the roof.
via “When It Rains Everyone Gets A Rising Tide To Lift All Boats!” says Scott Morrison – » The Australian Independent Media Network
When the Prime Minister made the bold assertion that there was no slavery in Australia, many were quick to point out his poor knowledge of our history forcing Morrison to correct himself. Of course, many people would have left it as that, but not our leader.
No, we can’t have all these elites telling the PM that he’s wrong, so he sprung into action and doubled the price of doing a Humanities course at university. That’ll teach those smart-arises to correct him.
via We Can’t Change Our History, But We Can Make It More Expensive! – » The Australian Independent Media Network
Britains Ministry of laughter demand all jokes attempts at mockery and irony be submitted for approval before release.(ODT)
via Irony is DEAD: Axed episode of Fawlty Towers shows that UKTV fun sponges have lost all sense of reality — RT Op-ed
It does strike me as a little premature for the Treasurer and others to start saying that whatever we spend now will have to be paid back. While we need a nuanced discussion about the best way to get the economy roaring along like the turtle it was pre-Coronavirus, to tweet something like that seems a bit premature. Like a doctor telling a family just before someone has surgery that the bill will need to be paid even if the patient dies.
It’s true, but it does make him sound as though the main thing on his mind is the health of his bank balance rather than the health of his patient.
via They Tell Me The Internet Is Down; I Know Bill Gates Is To Blame… – » The Australian Independent Media Network
There’s China the doers and the along came the dumber than (ODT)
“Then I see the disinfectant, where it knocks it out in a minute, one minute, and is there a way we can do something like that by injection inside, or almost a cleaning?” Trump asked Bryan from Homeland Security.
He then asked Deborah Birx, the physician co-ordinating the White House’s coronavirus taskforce: “I would like you to speak to the medical doctors to see if there’s any way you can apply light and heat to cure. You know? If you could. And maybe you can, maybe you can’t.”
Birx said she had not seen any evidence that heat or UV rays could be used as a treatment for the virus.
Health experts immediately warned that sunlight was not a “miracle cure” for COVID-19 and that people should not try to treat it by tanning – especially given the risks of developing skin cancer.
On Friday, China announced it donated a further $US30 million ($47 million) to the World Health Organisation following Donald Trump’s decision to halt funding, amid concerns the UN agency is too “China-centric”.
Chinese Foreign Ministry spokesman Geng Shuang said the extra funds would help the WHO contain the virus and support developing countries in improving their public health systems.
“At this critical moment, support for WHO helps to strengthen multilateralism and the UN,” Shuang said.
via Coronavirus: Trump reveals Homeland study claiming COVID-19 struggles to survive in sunlight, heat