Tag: Truth in Humour

Man Lines Up For 11 Hours For Chance To Vote In Greatest Democracy On Earth | The Shovel

She said other countries paled by comparison. “In other countries they only get to spend five or ten minutes voting – they’re not engaged in the process at all”.

Man Lines Up For 11 Hours For Chance To Vote In Greatest Democracy On Earth | The Shovel

It’s Clear My Wife Doesn’t Understand How Good Scott Morrison Is! – » The Australian Independent Media Network

It should be obvious that it’s only thanks to me that we’re in this position and that she should show a little gratitude to me and ScoMo, but no, it’s all, blame, blame, blame. Why she even suggested that the budget was terrible for women over thirty five because they’d actually find it harder to get work after the youth subsidies. She completely overlooks that the infrastructure spending will mean that they have nicer roads to travel on while they look for work and all the promised mental health support if they can’t cope with not getting it. That’s the trouble with the left. They’re just never grateful.

It’s Clear My Wife Doesn’t Understand How Good Scott Morrison Is! – » The Australian Independent Media Network

Scott Morrison Giving People The Ships! – » The Australian Independent Media Network

Now, I know some of you will be pointing out that Morrison and his band of merry men aren’t one of those who’ve agreed to a pay freeze/reduction, but remember they’re all struggling on upwards of $200,000 a year and Josh hasn’t even announced the tax cut for people like that yet… Mm, if not receiving promised increases are cuts, should reducing the tax you pay in the future be considered a tax cut?

Scott Morrison Giving People The Ships! – » The Australian Independent Media Network

Lemonade Stand Paid More Tax, Made More Profit, Than All Of Donald Trump’s Businesses Combined | The Shovel

While Ms Herriford’s lemonade stand did make a profit last year, she wanted to be clear that she does have a loan owing to her mother worth $14 – around $439,999,986 less than the loans owed by the Trump Organisation.

Lemonade Stand Paid More Tax, Made More Profit, Than All Of Donald Trump’s Businesses Combined | The Shovel

Welcome back to the world Melbourne (almost sort of hang in there!) | First Dog on the Moon | Opinion | The Guardian

First Dog on the Moon

I just want to sit in a cafe drinking an entire coffee in the actual cafe I bought the coffee in

Welcome back to the world Melbourne (almost sort of hang in there!) | First Dog on the Moon | Opinion | The Guardian

Tim Smith Is Paid A Lot More Than Me And His Achievements Are Abusive Tweets… – » The Australian Independent Media Network

Although the gods do seem to starting to say that it’s about time your luck ran out, Mr Morrison. Big announcement on vaccines, then a few days later the trial is halted. Ok, it’s always likely that there could be a glitch and that there needs to be a pause in a medical trial. That’s why it takes so long to get a new drug or vaccine on the market. I’m just amused that the timing was so soon after the BIG ANNOUNCEMENT. Usually the Liberals make the BIG ANNOUNCEMENT and it’s some months later when we discover that only $27.38 was spent out of the $2 billion announced owing to people not filling in the application form before the due date which was two days before the form was released to the public.

Tim Smith Is Paid A Lot More Than Me And His Achievements Are Abusive Tweets… – » The Australian Independent Media Network

Aged Care Minister Wondering Why People Keep Thinking He’s Responsible For Aged Care | The Shovel

Aged Care Minister Richard Colbeck says he is confused by the growing number of people who seem to think he should be in some way accountable for issues relating to aged care.

Aged Care Minister Wondering Why People Keep Thinking He’s Responsible For Aged Care | The Shovel

‘We told you Labor would wreck the economy’, Frydenberg says, announcing Australia officially in recession | The Shovel

Saying they had warned Australians all along that this would happen if a Labor Government was voted in, Josh Frydenberg and Scott Morrison have confirmed that Australia has gone into a recession for the first time in 30 years.

‘We told you Labor would wreck the economy’, Frydenberg says, announcing Australia officially in recession | The Shovel

Scott Morrison More Popular Than Jesus And Closing In On The Beatles! – » The Australian Independent Media Network

Yes, it’s just a few weeks ago that Josh and Scott were telling us that Labor handn’t delivered a surplus since last century, but if you want to go back through history, it’s worth remembering that the only Liberal Treasurer to deliver a surplus in the last forty years is Peter Costello, who did it during the mining boom. Let’s not even point out his selling off of assets like our gold reserves for bargain prices.

I’ll just leave you with one final thought as we approach Anzac Day: Conservatives seem to have an obsession with everyone remembering what happened over a century ago , while demanding we all forget what happened last week!

Scott Morrison More Popular Than Jesus And Closing In On The Beatles! – » The Australian Independent Media Network

Scott Morrison Quiet – Is He Isolated With Covid-19 Or In Hawaii? – » The Australian Independent Media Network

So, maybe Scottie could go on television, and explain away my concerns. Or maybe he really has been struck down and is being kept in quarantine.

Nah, surely we’d be told.

via Scott Morrison Quiet – Is He Isolated With Covid-19 Or In Hawaii? – » The Australian Independent Media Network

AFP Finds No Evidence That Malcolm Roberts Exists – » The Australian Independent Media Network

Of course when I say that the Australian Federal Police found no evidence of the existence of Malcolm Roberts, I have to be fair and point out that they didn’t look for any. As with the Angus Taylor case, they saw no need to waste valuable resources when there was very little likelihood of finding any evidence. And there was obvioulsy almost no chance of finding any evidence because they weren’t going to look.

via AFP Finds No Evidence That Malcolm Roberts Exists – » The Australian Independent Media Network

Nigel Farrage Or What’s A Conservative Anyway? – » The Australian Independent Media Network

P.S. On Sunday night, the ABC ran David Attenborough’s “Climate Change; The Facts”. I understand, that there has been some backlash because they didn’t balance this by presenting non-facts. Malcolm Roberts is said to be ropable and is planning to write to the ABC management just as soons as he learns his other lettters.

via Nigel Farrage Or What’s A Conservative Anyway? – » The Australian Independent Media Network

‘No Way To Prevent This,’ Says Only Nation Where This Regularly Happens

Illustration for article titled ‘No Way To Prevent This,’ Says Only Nation Where This Regularly Happens

VIRGINIA BEACH, VA—In the hours following a violent rampage in Virginia in which a lone attacker killed 12 individuals and injured four others, citizens living in the only country where this kind of mass killing routinely occurs reportedly concluded Wednesday that there was no way to prevent the massacre from taking place. “This was a terrible tragedy, but sometimes these things just happen and there’s nothing anyone can do to stop them,” said Michigan resident Mark Butler, echoing sentiments expressed by tens of millions of individuals who reside in a nation where over half of the world’s deadliest mass shootings have occurred in the past 50 years and whose citizens are 20 times more likely to die of gun violence than those of other developed nations. “It’s a shame, but what can we do? There really wasn’t anything that was going to keep this individual from snapping and killing a lot of people if that’s what they really wanted.” At press time, residents of the only economically advanced nation in the world where roughly two mass shootings have occurred every month for the past eight years were referring to themselves and their situation as “helpless.”

via ‘No Way To Prevent This,’ Says Only Nation Where This Regularly Happens

He Who Must Not Be Named… No, Not ScoMo… Well, him too, but the other one! – » The Australian Independent Media Network

Of course, I did delete a certain senior politician’s name from a recent piece that I wrote. Apparently, the PM’s office got all hot and bothered when Waleed Aly suggested in a response to Christchurch something that was widely reported in 2011 and threatened defamation action.

A rather interesting response, given Scott didn’t threaten to react so litigously when it was reported way back in 2011. I guess it was different then. It wasn’t being said by a Muslim.

via He Who Must Not Be Named… No, Not ScoMo… Well, him too, but the other one! – » The Australian Independent Media Network

Dear Tony – » The Australian Independent Media Network

Despite your image management – the macho man in red sluggos, the lycra-clad warrior, the hero with a hose, it is obvious to all except the gormless and callow that you are phoney, Tony. The staccato cackle, the clammy, tight-skinned visage of a carp wrapped in cling film, the sleazy smile, the ludicrous bow-legged affectation bringing to mind a rodeo cowboy leaving a port-a-loo; it’s all counter-productive Chuckle Head and subliminally reminds us of your ape-like swaggering approach to unsuspecting victims – the lunatic grin and manic chuckle, the far-too-close, double-handed deathgrip cutting off easy escape. We could read the minds of the hapless recipients of this faux chuminess, Tones, we could see it in their eyes – “Fuck, I want to turn away but if I do he may kiss the back of my head. But if I don’t he may go for the mouth.”

You’re King Midas in reverse, Tones – everything you touch turns to shit. For your own self-respect, it’s not too late, give it away.

Gratuitously yours

Grumpy Geezer

via Dear Tony – » The Australian Independent Media Network

Fraser Anning Is A Human Being! – » The Australian Independent Media Network

Anger and outrage just feeds the publicity machine which sets an agenda of “us” and ”them”. It’s hard not to be angry, but it’s what the terrorists want. Anger stops us thinking.

And, if you don’t believe that’s bad, just take a long hard look at Fraser!

via Fraser Anning Is A Human Being! – » The Australian Independent Media Network

Actually, Pauline, It’s Always Been Ok To Be White! Just Ask Tony… – » The Australian Independent Media Network

She wants the Senate to acknowledge: a) the deplorable rise of anti-white racism and attacks on Western civilisation b) It is okay to be white.

My solution would be to move a couple of simple amendments. For Part a), I would ask if the mover of the motion would object to the removal of the words “anti-white” and “Western” so that it read: the deplorable rise of racism and attacks on civilisation.

As for Tony Abbott

Oh, in breaking news, I understand the indigenous elders in the places he’s visiting have asked him to leave. I guess it’s because they don’t understand Western civilisation. When someone tries to impose their values on us, we generally do more than just ask them to leave. We insist that they learn our language and accept our values…

Right, I better stop here before I start speculating that Andrew Bolt will be the next Chairman of the ABC and the Liberal who reads my stuff and suggests it to the Cabinet will make that one a reality just like Malcolm and Scott becoming Prime Minister along with sundry other things.

via Actually, Pauline, It’s Always Been Ok To Be White! Just Ask Tony… – » The Australian Independent Media Network