Yes, sometimes Scott Morrison just rambles on with meaningless waffles and lies, but other times, he disappears and says nothing. Either way, his detractors are never satisfied… and speaking of Dutton and Frydenberg, apparently, Dutton thinks he has the numbers but without Mathias there to confirm them, he’s not willing to move. Josh was sure he had the numbers but after a recount, he discovered that he was short by sixty billion…
Source: Why Did We Need Katie Hopkins When We Have So Many Unemployed Bigots Here Already? – » The Australian Independent Media Network
So Labor, it’s up to you. Barnaby has told us that they don’t have a plan and this is a problem for Scott Morrison – who we’re told wants to achieve net zero emissions at the same time as vaccinating the population. Both are to happen, “as soon as possible” which is a pretty ambitious plan for most of us, but it seems pretty pedestrian for a man like him who believes in miracles. Couldn’t we have at least one of them happening before it’s possible instead of waiting for the possible? Otherwise, where’s the miracle? sigh< Maybe I should just congratulate Barnaby for achieving net zero in politics and conclude that maybe the planet knows what its doing and when the cockroaches take over, it might be an improvement.
Source: Barnaby Has Already Achieved Net Zero! – » The Australian Independent Media Network
Is it too far-fetched to suggest that in the near future, we’ll have some Liberal-friendly commentator saying that the current mess is all the fault of Labor for not winning the last election?
Source: Josh Frydenberg: Why Everything Is Labor’s Fault But Liberals Are Just Victims Of Circumstance! – » The Australian Independent Media Network
I have it on good authority – not the PMO’s office, no definitely not, we don’t need another six month long inquiry into who knew nothing and what they didn’t say about what they didn’t know – that the Prime Minister reached out to Ms Banks and tried to understand but she was too upset to express her reasons clearly and what can a bloke do when a woman just says that she’s leaving because of the disgusting behaviour and bullying of the people in charge except shake his head and sigh and make another curry. Say what you like about Mr Morrison. I always find him an inspiration.
Source: Scotty The Inspiration For My Own Four Phase Plan! – » The Australian Independent Media Network
The stroll-out by Hunt and Morrison
Like the vaccine rollout, someone else will need to take over if it’s going to be finished any time in the near future.
Source: A Guide To Covid Vaccinations OR Naked Men Startle Deer… – » The Australian Independent Media Network
“Hi Ben, I think it’s your shout.” ”Ok, two beers, thanks.” “We better drink ‘em quickly before Dictator Dan gets back and shuts the whole state down.” ”Like in NSW you mean?” ”Nah, they’ve just got a stay at home order. That’s not a lockdown. Glorious Gladys doesn’t do lockdowns. She keeps the state running..” ”Actually I believe they’re calling it a lockdown now so you may have to stop calling Gladys ‘glorious’!” “Well, even if they are locking down, it’s not really her fault.” ”How do you figure that?” ”Well all those other premiers were locking down unnecessarily when they only had a handful of cases, so she presumed that she wouldn’t have to because NSW would only be a handful of cases too.” ”Isn’t it possible that it’s because they locked down early that they only had a handful of cases?” ”I don’t think you can say that. As Scott Morrison said last year, we can’t hide under the doona forever.”
Source: Why A Stay At Home Order Is Better Than A Lockdown! – » The Australian Independent Media Network
As we seem to have entered a phase where the level of spin in the country is so great that Shane Warne would have struggled to get a game in Prime Minister’s Eleven, I’ve started wondering how the various politicians in the Morrison government had been born in previous times.
Source: If The Morrison Government Had Been Historical Figures… – » The Australian Independent Media Network
Snigger at that if you think I’m being ridiculous, but remember that this is the government that had Dan Tehan tell us that the vaccine rollout “wasn’t a race”. Why not? Well, because the Melbourne Cup is a race, so…
Source: Forget Coal, Joel And The Latest Poll: Elections Are Won With Maslov – » The Australian Independent Media Network
Spokesman: War with China is practically inevitable. I mean, just look at all the people saying it. If we don’t declare war on them soon, they’ll think we all talk and no action and refuse to take us seriously. Rossleigh: Well, if we’re going to war with them, why are we still selling them iron ore? Spokesman: I’m sorry, but I must take this phone call.
Source: Why The Media Is So Unfair On Scott Morrison… – » The Australian Independent Media Network
‘Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?’ ‘That depends a good deal on where you want to get to,’ said the Cat. ‘I don’t much care where -‘ said Alice. ‘Then it doesn’t matter which way you go,’ said the Cat. ‘- so long as I get SOMEWHERE,’ Alice added as an explanation. ‘Oh, you’re sure to do that,’ said the Cat, ‘if you only walk long enough.” – Lewis Carroll, Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland / Through the Looking-Glass Ok, consider this: your friend, Jane tells you about her new relationship. “It’s the real thing but we’re not ready to move in together or anything. We both want to lead independent lives.” Fair enough you think, but when you meet her again a few months later and ask how it’s going, she tells you that they’ve been talking about living together but there’s no rush. After a few years of this, she eventually tells you that moving in together isn’t all that important, but Scott is inching his way towards a commitment because he told her that a formal arrangement wasn’t necessary; the important thing is the relationship itself which is better than most people’s, and she’s sure that he’ll be happy to make some sort
Source: Scott Morrison Knows Someone Who Can Change The World! – » The Australian Independent Media Network
Anyway, back in Canberra the Saviour was able to quickly explain the situation in aged care facilities:
The challenges are not unique to Australia so don’t try and blame the Federal Government who is responsible for the regulation of aged care.
It’s inevitable that Covid-19 will get into aged care facilities because of the high rate of community infection.
It’s being brought in by staff and not spontaneously appearing in the residents who are under lockdown and not allowed to leave.
Brendan Murphy still agrees with Morrison even though he’s no longer CMO but he’s always available for a press conference.
“When it rains, everyone gets wet.” This I presume is because the profit motive is so strong and the regulations so lax in Aged Care Facilities that there’s no necessity to fix the holes in the roof.
via “When It Rains Everyone Gets A Rising Tide To Lift All Boats!” says Scott Morrison – » The Australian Independent Media Network
When the Prime Minister made the bold assertion that there was no slavery in Australia, many were quick to point out his poor knowledge of our history forcing Morrison to correct himself. Of course, many people would have left it as that, but not our leader.
No, we can’t have all these elites telling the PM that he’s wrong, so he sprung into action and doubled the price of doing a Humanities course at university. That’ll teach those smart-arises to correct him.
via We Can’t Change Our History, But We Can Make It More Expensive! – » The Australian Independent Media Network
Just twelve months ago, I was thinking about what a challenge writing was going to be. I mean, I expected that we were going to have a Shorten Labor government and, while I was sure that it would only be a matter of time before I’d be able to apply my satiric style to them, I was sure it was going to be more of a challenge. Let’s be real. With the Coalition the satire practically writes itself.
Take, for example, Scottie telling us that it’s time to get out from under the doona and that we need to get things moving again while it’s still too dangerous to fully re-open Parliament…
via Scottie, It’s Time To Get Democracy From Under The Doona! – » The Australian Independent Media Network
It does strike me as a little premature for the Treasurer and others to start saying that whatever we spend now will have to be paid back. While we need a nuanced discussion about the best way to get the economy roaring along like the turtle it was pre-Coronavirus, to tweet something like that seems a bit premature. Like a doctor telling a family just before someone has surgery that the bill will need to be paid even if the patient dies.
It’s true, but it does make him sound as though the main thing on his mind is the health of his bank balance rather than the health of his patient.
via They Tell Me The Internet Is Down; I Know Bill Gates Is To Blame… – » The Australian Independent Media Network
Who was dutifully promoting and playin wingman to this bullshit none other than Andrew Bolt (ODT)
After my essential journey to the supermarket to buy chocolate, I couldn’t help noticing the front page headline on “The Australian” which blared:
TEACHERS DEFYING VIRUS SCIENCE
Quite a neat trick rely, I thought. How does one “defy” science? Is it like defying gravity? Or is it like defying your boss and announcing that there’s no way you’re going to perform that task without the correct safety equipment?
No, what I find amazing is the sheer hypocrisy of a newspaper that can switch from an “everyone has a right to an opinion and scientists have been wrong in the past” position to a “you don’t have the right to question because you’ve been told by the PM so shut up and do what you’re told” stance.
And, of course, this completely overlooks the fact that teachers are doing what they’re told. In some states, teacher unions are pushing to ensure safety, but to the best of my knowledge none have suggested teachers refusing to attend school. Except for private schools, it’s state governments who’ve made the decisions about schools, not the teachers themselves.
Still, Rupert’s editors have never let the truth get in the way of the story.
via Playing Dice With God And Other Stories Of Rupert Murdoch! – » The Australian Independent Media Network