The countdown is over! In proving that satire and a good laugh can lift our spirits in the darkest of political times, Number 1 goes to Rossleigh for this article from February.Media
The countdown is over! In proving that satire and a good laugh can lift our spirits in the darkest of political times, Number 1 goes to Rossleigh for this article from February.Media
The Liberals consistently overlook the fact that their views on a number of issues are inconsistent with the majority. They’ve been elected on a number of occasions because of their perceived ability to manage the economy. This is like when your hairdresser gives you a running commentary that you ignore because you like the way he cuts your hair and the rest of it doesn’t seem important enough to find a new one. However, with their inability to actually deliver the Budget surplus they promised and the blowout in government debt to triple what it was when it was an emergency have left people feeling like they’ve been given a mullet they didn’t ask for.
It’s all very well to blame Labor, the pandemic and various other things, but if Labor do actually balance the budget the Coalition will have a long road back to government.
Apparently, ex-PM Scott Morrison…
Mm. Sorry, I got distracted writing that. You know how when you see a thing of beauty and you just pause and forget what you were doing and just stare? Well, the phrase “ex-PM Scott Morrison” had that effect on me and I lost my train of thought…
A voice regarding the world’s most successful Multiracial Democracy
It’s sort of interesting that just a few days ago we had the conservative side of politics telling us that they didn’t have a position on the Voice because they didn’t have enough detail. Now, according to Nationals muppet, David Littleproud, there’s enough detail to announce that they’ll be opposing it.
this is all general and has nothing to do with the recent brouhaha about the Essendon CEO who lasted less time in the job than your average Tinder date.
When it comes down to it, he should have never got the job for the obvious reason that he was the person in charge of finding the next CEO.
Let’s be clear here: If you tasked me with the job of finding a replacement for Shaun at “Mad As Hell” and I came back a few weeks later and said after due consideration, I think it should be me, you’d have to think that I was far from a disinterested party and that maybe there was the sort of conflict of interest that meant that I should consider becoming the next Liberal leader rather than a comedian…
But it’s not the accident itself that’s at issue here. The point I’m making is that for the issue to resurface in the midst of an election campaign is rather interesting timing. Coincidence? Of course, one couldn’t accuse the Murdoch paper of having an agenda. I’m sure that every ten-year-old incident where no new evidence has been produced is always worthy of a front page, so I’m sure we’ll have something about Matt Guy’s lobster lunch and how one of the guests was an Australian citizen thanks to the largesse of Amanda Vanstone and her compassionate granting of citizenship.
Peter Dutton is committed to calling Labor liars at every opportunity, as well as suggesting that there’s a big rift between Albanese and Chalmers on the tax cuts. The Liberals are a “broad church”, but Labor have rifts.
Ah, just like the mainstream media I’ve spent all this time discussing something which hasn’t happened yet and I’ve completely ignored the story about how Mathias Cormann is stuffing up his job at the OECD and how 26 economists and academics have written an open letter expressing concern about how he has effectively shut down the New Approaches to Economic Challenges which they believe was working efficiently.
Yes, when Mathias left the Liberals to work at the OECD, he managed to reduce the competency of both groups. It’s really pretty amazing that a body like that could employ a man who didn’t even notice that he’d forgotten to pay “HelloWorld” for his holiday.
Peter Dutton thinks that Andrew Thorburn should be re-instated, and not just because Dan Andrews thought that removing him was a good idea. No, it’s like I said: religious institutions have the right to consider religious views when hiring and firing, but nobody else does.
For years, Bolt has argued that he has a right to free speech without the terrible restrictions that someone disagreeing with him might place on his freedom. We should reject political correctness and all that it entails.
So, I’m presuming that he must be very upset that Lachlan Murdoch should take Crikey to court because of what they printed and that he doesn’t feel that the idea that Lachlan has “has suffered and will continue to suffer substantial hurt, distress and embarrassment” should be a reason for him to sue them.
As for Andrew Bolt, I’m left presuming his opinion on the Lachlan Murdoch situation because he hasn’t made his views as clear as he normally does. Of course, this would have nothing to do with who his employer is, because that would lead some to draw the inference that he doesn’t really think his paper supports his free speech on all subjects.
Of course, this has nothing to do with his capacity to be an effective Prime Minister. I mean, we don’t elect governments because they’re composed of nice guys and gals. We elect them to have the ability to show foresight, communicate their vision and make the tough decisions when necessary.
So, all this stuff I’ve heard lately about Peter Dutton being such a great fellow just makes me think that he’s too nice to ever be a good leader.
By the way, in case you’re not aware, you should only try to cuddle a koala under strict supervision. In their natural state they can scratch and piss on you.
Just a few short years ago, Attorney-General George Brandis assured us that people had a right to be bigots.
From these we can see that One Nation and its senators don’t like the way we do things in Australia and that they want change and using Pauline’s logic, doesn’t that mean that Malcolm Roberts should leave the country and go back to India?
Or as Pauline pointed out, is he allowed to express a view without being told to go back to where he came from because “his skin is white”?
Now I promise not to spend too much time on this but I feel the need to point out that the idea that King Chuckles can’t comment on climate change because it’s just a wee bit controversial is one of those things that needs a bit of an examination. I’m just going to do a short examination and then we can go back to discussing politics like we normally do, ok?
The Irish simply thought of all English a Third consideration
Scotland is about to take back Balmoral Castle and then there’s Australia
Mr Dutton has been suggesting that it’s inappropriate for King Charles to be against the destruction of the Earth because our monarch is meant to be politically neutral, but the first Charles lost his head and insisted that he didn’t need to listen to the British Parliament, although not in that order. So with a name like Charles, who knows what this Charles will do?
What will the monarchists do if Charles doesn’t become the silent figurehead who just cuts the odd ribbon and opens the odd fete and puts his name to the odd charity? (Although not so odd that it won’t have an office, a website or a plan before getting $18million from the government…) What if he feels that he has a role to play in loudly encouraging the move toward net zero? Which, after all, in Australia, is a bipartisan policy so it’s hardly controversial.
I mean, it’s not like they can demand we elect a new king.
Although it is possible that Scott Morrison had himself secretly sworn in as an alternative king in case something happened.
Finally, I’d just like everyone to remember the basic strategy that the Coalition will adopt over the next few weeks. If Labor and The Greens reach any sort of compromise, then it’ll be because they’re a coalition and if you vote for one it’s the same as voting for the other, but if they can’t agree, then Peter Dutton will move a motion of no confidence in the government because they can’t get their legislation through the Senate.
Ok, an Opposition leader would have to be pretty stupid to do that. So how long do you think it will be before he does?
And that’s surely the point of Matt and Tim and Peter. They make the rest of them look so much more reasonable. I remember when we laughed at the “Joh for PM” campaign in the late 1980s. I was at Billy Bragg’s concert where he made jokes about it, but then left us with a warning that the problem was that after Joh someone would come along and – by comparison – they’d seem alright.
And thanks to Matt and Tim and Peter, then the moderates like Hollie Hughes and Dan Tehan and Angus Taylor and Alan Tudge and Alex Hawke…
Oh, I see…
Yeah, the days of looking good compared to the previous front bench may be over for the federal Coalition.
But at least, down here in Victoria, Tim Smith is making a concerted effort to make his leader look good by comparison with his praise of Rugby League over AFL.
If that doesn’t get him expelled from the Victorian Liberal Party then they might as well disband now.
There’s something strange about the conservative side of politics. Ok, there’s something strange about all sides of politics, but I’ve noticed a certain pattern from Tony, Scott, Boris and the rest. I haven’t included Malcolm because we all know that – in spite of living in Point Piper – he’s a communist.
- alert to injustice in society, especially racism.“we need to stay angry, and stay woke“
So there you have it!
When certain people talk about their hostility to woke folk, then what they’re actually saying is that they don’t want people to be alert to injustice in society, especially when it comes to racism.
You won’t find this on Sky News After Dark. They appropriated Woke to mean any complaint whatsoever. They intentionally confused it and tried to turn it into a joke by mocking it in an effort to make it meaningless and drain it from any weight of truth.
Staying Woke even means when it’s their unassailable privileges are being threatened. Bolt, Rowan Dean et al simply try to reduce it to a state of meaningless equivalence when reality is great and people complain about it. However, when the facts say otherwise then Woke is to be wise. This is a misogynist world in which women find themselves second class to men who aren’t being attacked underpaid or raped. The hardships the Indigenous face are real and aren’t as Bolt tries to insist victims of their own culture. Woke isn’t simply a term applicable to any complaint he might have about Australian Society because he Dean, Kenny et al simply ain’t….Woke
Still the media have taken on board one thing. Throughout the campaign we were told that we didn’t know who Albanese was, even though he’s one of the longest serving politicians held a number of portfolios and spent some time in the position of Deputy PM. They must have done some soul-searching and realised that they couldn’t let that happen again, so there are lots of pieces on the new opposition leader, even before he’s elected, and they all seem to be telling us that the man we thought we knew is just a creature of fiction… No, not the one from the Harry Potter series because that’s making fun of his appearance and he can’t help that. No, the Peter Dutton that intervened agains department advice to allow a couple of au pair girls to enter the country now wants to be assured that the government is following department advice by letting a family with Australian born children stay here. I mean, imagine how the flood gates will be opened if all people have to do to get to stay is find another refugee to marry, have kids, make lots of friends in their local community, get dragged out of bed in the middle of the night, spend years in detention, have a child get dangerously ill and liv
For some reason, I keep thinking of Monty Python:
Interviewer: I’ve been told Dinsdale Piranha nailed your head to the floor.
Stig: No. Never. He was a smashing bloke. He used to buy his mother flowers and that. He was like a brother to me.
Interviewer: But the police have film of Dinsdale actually nailing your head to the floor.
Stig: (pause) Oh yeah, he did that…
Interviewer: And you don’t bear him a grudge?
Stig: A grudge! Old Dinsy. He was a real darling.
Interviewer: I understand he also nailed your wife’s head to a coffee table. Isn’t that true Mrs O’ Tracy?
Mrs O’ Tracy: No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Stig: Well he did do that, yeah. He was a hard man. Vicious but fair.
Still, to be fair, the Coalition have always suggested that minorities need to fit in and we can’t just pander to people who don’t accept the society we live in. It’s just a pity that they didn’t realise that women are one of the few minority groups that actually form a majority.
To me, democracy is a fairly simple thing: People put forward ideas, either as a member of a party or as an individual, and everyone else votes for the person whose ideas they think are best, so it’s a matter of some concern when the media aren’t discussing these ideas but instead resemble football commentators speculating on which team is best placed to win and what last week’s result suggests about the upcoming finals.
We need to hear about what the actual plans are to ensure net-zero and an effective economy. Parroting the idea that we have lots and lots of jobs isn’t really an indication of the economy running smoothly. The fact that businesses are claiming that they can’t get workers is just as much a sign that the government is mismanaging the economy as higher unemployment.
While there’s every chance that the election will be tighter than the polls suggested a few weeks ago, there’s also a strong tendency to overlook the difficulty the Morrison government will have in holding on. Of course, it doesn’t help when the media keep asking Labor how much things will cost, while never asking the same question of the Liberals.
According to the framing, Labor spends money on things like infrastructure and education, while the Liberals invest in infrastructure and education.
Yes, I could go on pointing out the differences and it wouldn’t soothe the nerves of those who fear that Morrison will do it again. And who knows, he might. So with that in mind, I thought I’d concentrate on the upside of Morrison’s win. He’ll destroy the Liberal Party.
Truth in Irony
Let’s be quite clear here: If Scott Morrison was a jockey, the stewards would be questioning him after the election about whether he was running dead. If he was a football coach, he’d be accused of tanking. If he was a Prime Minister, he might actual do something to help the country.
Yes, we all know that there’s only one poll that counts, and that’s the one taken next week when the Liberals all get together to work out if it’s too late to change leader.
On that final point, I have to stop writing. I was going to list Morrison’s non-achievements, but the list of things he hasn’t done is far too long for the one article. However, if any publisher would like to offer me a book deal I already have a title. “I’d rather spend my time in the prayer room than holding a hose!” ( Rossleigh )
Morrison prefers his women restrained, on their backs, and lying down.
“It’s definitely not a fore-runner to a leadership spill. We’re not the Labor Party who feel the need to change leaders in order to win elections. We don’t change leaders unless we absolutely have to because someone’s unable to do whatever it is that they need to do in order not to get rolled by the party.” Once the woman’s hair was washed, Mr Morrison hurried on to his next appointment: an appearance on the Masked Singer. Information about what mask he’ll be wearing has been listed as classified under the official secrets act, but it has been confirmed that he refused the Dick Nixon mask on the grounds that it was ambiguous. Of course, the election has to be held soon and then we’ll have the Prime Minister doing all those gimmicky things to make himself appear more human and the country will just have to run itself for a while!
It’s like I said when Domicide Perrotet was opening up the state and allowing larger gatherings: I’m not sure that “THANKS TO US YOU CAN NOW GO TO YOUR GRANNY’S FUNERAL!” is quite the vote-winning slogan that he thought it was. Still the election’s a long way off – or maybe not – and nobody’s actually cast their votes yet so anything could happen. War with China seems to be off the table and even Russia seems to be failing to invade with the speed that Petey “The General” Dutton would like, so maybe they’ll have to resort to a terror raid where they arrest the entire front bench of the Labor Party for reasons that they don’t have to divulge thanks to our anti-terror laws.
In an amazing break with protocol, Australian of The Year, Grace Tame did not curtsy and smile at the Prime Minister, leading to outrage from people such as James McGrath and Peter Van Onselen. What’s wrong with her? Morrison manages to smile, even when he’s announcing someone’s death?
Yes, we heard about the four killed in the pink batts installations for years and they were all supposed to be Kevin Rudd’s fault, but we can have dozens dying every day and it’s just the price of a healthy economy. Who says this government doesn’t put health first? I guess the pink batts guys didn’t have “underlying health conditions”…
In breaking news, there is no decision on Novak Djokovic. No, that’s it. That was the lead story in most news bulletins tonight. They could have added that there’d been no decision about a range of things like the integrity commission, the religious discrimination bill, the election date, the purchase of water bombers for bushfires, the resignation of a minister… But there’s only one story about nothing you can do per bulletin…
Whatever, I’m sure that he’ll get a glowing reference and will have no trouble picking something else up in the near future. Like I always say, you’ve got to hand it to Scotty. Yes, you do. There’s no way he’ll get off his backside and do it for himself!
Why on earth did Dan Andrews grant him a visa? Whoops, state governments don’t grant visas. We granted him a visa based on Dan Andrews say so. The medical review was an independent process. Oh look, a high profile resignation, let’s talk about that instead!!
Of course, when I say the number of positive cases, I mean the number of positive cases that we know about. Just like the boats, if we make tests another “We don’t comment about On Water Matters”, then we can sweep them under the carpet and say from the thirty three PCR tests done yesterday there were only thirty positive cases. That’s well down on the thirty thousand we had on January 6th. As for the RATs, I can already hear Morrison standing up and saying, “It’s thanks to Can-do capitalism that we have these tests in the country, if it were left to state governments we wouldn’t have got them so quickly… No, I can’t give you the numbers of tests imported because that’s commercial in confidence… No, we don’t see any need to restrict prices, these businesses are having a go and if you have a go you deserve to make a profit, we’re not socialists like Labor who’d have you paying more in taxes, whereas we’re all about choice and you can choose not to buy the RAT… Thanks, but no more questions as I have to take an important call from a world leader in discount prices so if you need a new appliance, you can get ten percent off if you buy your RATs there.”
Yes, while Australians were cheering Scott Boland, he only stopped one test.,. The other Scott has managed to stop millions!
Yet, Mr Frydenberg seemed ecstatic to discover that his potential nemesis, Dr. Monique Ryan was once a Labor member. While it might be true that this might scare some of the more conservative voters off voting for her, I suspect that there are more likely to be people who would have voted Labor in the seat who may go, “Oh, she must be ok then. I’ll vote for her.” And like I said, unless there’s a North Shropshire situation where traditional Labo(u)r voters decide that it’s more important to sink the conservative candidate than vote for their actual party of choice. then most of the Independents in the various seats will have little chance of succeeding. But if any of them are actually still in the race after Labor and The Greens are eliminated, then they’ll probably get a strong preference flow from those two parties. But thanks, Josh, you may have actually sent enough votes Dr Ryan’s way to give her a realistic chance of toppling you. I suspect you’ll still limp over the line, but, if you don’t, well, at least you gave it a real shake and bake!
Scott Morrison is never photographed just doing his job. Because he does nothing. Abbott was. He was photographed in his budgie smugglers, on his bike, and in his volunteer fire gear because that’s what he did. He wasn’t caught posing like Morrison constantly is. Morrison thinks watching very expensive paint dry is the way to Aussie hearts. Like Lara Bingle he will too.
I don’t see Gladys standing for a number of reasons: How do the Liberals counter the obvious? She had to stand down as premier because ICAC were investigating her for misconduct and conflicts of interest, but we don’t worry about such things in Canberra. Then there’s also the: So this why she resigned her seat and didn’t merely stand down as Premier; she was planning this all along. She’s just turned her back on the people of NSW in their hour of need. The whole Morrison strategy is to talk her up and then say that she won’t stand because an unelected body like ICAC has stood in her way, and isn’t it good that we haven’t rushed into having a federal integrity body! There’s a distinct possibility that she’d be in Opposition, which might mean that she could become the Opposition leader but it’s hardly the sort of gig that one would willingly take on when you could just try for a much better paying job lobbying for Wagga. Even if the Liberals won the next election, she’d have to go to Canberra and listen to Scott Morrison’s speeches in the party room.
There are so many questions. Although it now seems clear that we won’t be invading Taiwan to keep it safe from China. Instead we’re sending people to the Solomon Islands which is almost as good as a war because we can ramp up the rhetoric and find a way to suggest that not supporting the government at this time of conflict would be unpatriotic. Of course, when I say time of conflict, I’m not suggesting that the Coalition is at war with itself…most of them will tell you that they’re completely united and there’s a general consensus on just about everything!
Not just Culture but the systems and foundations that support it. They want to change The ABC Education, History, Voting, Democracy and who will rule Australia and it’s not the people.
Although once public figures were also pretty reluctant to use defamation proceedings on the grounds that they might amplify what would others only be heard by a handful of people. And politicians rarely did, partly because of the same reason, and partly because parliamentary privilege meant that it seemed unfair that they could defame people without legal consequence, so it might seem a bit unfair to the average voter. Now, we have the Minister for War (is that defamatory, whoops!) telling us that there should be a fund for politicians to use taxpayer money to sue people saying nasty things like they’re unfit for office. I presume this means that any successful prosecution would be paid back to the taxpayer, given that we stumped up the money in the first place. Although, when I think about it, that would mean that any. newspaper editor, businessperson or lawyer setting up a blind trust to pay for a politician’s legal costs would get the money if they’re defamation case was successful. Free speech should never be stifled, unless you have a really good lawyer.
He and Tony Abbott lead Australia’s most Don’t-Do Nope Nope Nope Governments ever. They get’s paid $500,000 for Doing Nothing. It just Won’t Do.
I think it’s very much a case of what Scotty said about how problems would be solved by “can-do capitalism; not don’t-do governments”. Yes, well, just as he doesn’t hold a hose, he can now add that his party “don’t-do government”.
Gladys, whose involvement with a corrupt boyfriend where she either deliberately ignored his behaviour or was dangerously incompetent at noticing, resigns before an investigation and there’s a general bashing of teeth at the unfairness of it all. This is the middle of a pandemic and changing leaders is not something anyone should want. Dan, who may or may not be appearing in an IBAC investigation which may or may not be about his behaviour, is « refusing » to stand aside and « stubbornly » continuing to lead his state and refusing to answer questions that may be a breach of the law were he to talk about the inquiry which may or may not exist. We’ll probably know more in the coming days. And if it’s discovered that Andrews has appeared then it’s only right that he should be placed in the stocks and publicly flogged, even if he was only appearing as a witness where he is cooperating to help bring to light branch stacking in the Labor Party. (Branch stacking doesn’t occur in the Liberal Party; they only have aggressive recruitment).
Let’s imagine a hypothetical person who I’ll call Vladimir because I’m less likely to get sued by some guy who happens to have the same name and recognises himself by the crime I’m alleging. One of the neighbours rings the police to say that the person sharing Vladimir’s house hasn’t been seen in several days and there was a lot of noise and shouting one night. The police knock on the door and ask Vladimir if they can speak to his housemate. Vlad asks them if they have a search warrant and they say no, so he says go away. The police then say that they’re pretty sure they’ll be able to get one. At this point, Vlad goes public telling Sky News that he’s going to leave Australia on the first plane because we’ve reached a point where unelected bodies like the police can just get search warrants and dig up your whole back yard even though they have no evidence and you haven’t been convicted of anything and as such you’re entitled to the presume of innocence, so that means you’re an innocent man… And all right, his housemate was involved with some shady characters and he hasn’t seen him either but there’s no evidence of wrongdoing so it’s completely terrible that the police would quest
Well, I could be wrong, but I suspect that any day now there’ll be media articles about what a mistake it would be to have a Federal Integrity Commission when ICAC is responsible for such a great Premier as Gladys having to stand down when she’s done nothing more than have loyalty to her partner and if we’d had a similar one at federal level then who knows how many of the great performers like Stuart Robert or Richard Colbeck would have lost their portfolios over some minor issue like forgetting where they left it.
P.S, Speaking of freedom, Clive Palmer has put out this statement: “Our position is clear and simple – Every Australian should have the right to choose what they put into their body.” Does this mean he’s supporting the legalisation of drugs?
Speaking of submarines, Christian Porter has resigned. I know that previous sentence may not seem to make sense to those of you who don’t follow politics closely but the current modus operandi of the government is to distract us from the previous disaster by pointing us in the direction of another disaster until one of them has something that we can focus on where there is more than one side of the argument. To demonstrate with a complete hypothetical:
Like the people who seem to be able to embrace the idea that we need to worry about mental health while not actually doing much to help people with mental health issues, as well as feeling like the budget has to get back to surplus but we need to give high income earnings tax cuts, as well as telling us that we can’t afford the NDIS but franking credits refunds to people who don’t earn a taxable income are no problem*, Gladys seems to be able to hold two seemingly contradictory positions at the same time. Yes, she was unlucky in love and that Maguire guy pulled the wool over her eyes, but she should stay Premier because she’s very astute and makes good decisions.
“And let me make it clear the government does not have a new position. The government’s position has always been that we need to open up immediately.” “So you’re saying that there’s no change and the government is committed to opening up as soon as it’s safe.” “No, I’m saying that Mr Morrison has been very clear that he wants these silly lockdowns to stop. Last year he told us to stop hiding under the doona even before we had a vaccine and now he’s saying that we can’t stay in the cave, so you can’t accuse him of being inconsistent.”
Yes, it’s the contradiction that gets me. I’m not suggesting that lockdown is easy, nor am I saying that kids unable to go to the playground won’t find it tough. I’m just wondering why now the same people who’ve been saying “Harden up, princess!” whenever anyone has talked about asylum seekers in detention, or the unemployed or any marginalised group, now suddenly find the fact that people are doing it hard a cause to be embraced. It’s almost like they’re pushing an « open up the economy and consequences be damned » agenda!
Like I said, it’s obvious really. I once said that when I first bought a home, I one day hoped to live in a million dollar property. Little did I realise that it would happen without me moving. I also imagined that it would be a beachfront property. Given the way climate change action is happening, that might also happen without me moving, too
Sig O’Phant: Good evening, tonight we’re bringing you an interview with the Prime Minister. Good evening, Mr Morrison.