To me, democracy is a fairly simple thing: People put forward ideas, either as a member of a party or as an individual, and everyone else votes for the person whose ideas they think are best, so it’s a matter of some concern when the media aren’t discussing these ideas but instead resemble football commentators speculating on which team is best placed to win and what last week’s result suggests about the upcoming finals.
We need to hear about what the actual plans are to ensure net-zero and an effective economy. Parroting the idea that we have lots and lots of jobs isn’t really an indication of the economy running smoothly. The fact that businesses are claiming that they can’t get workers is just as much a sign that the government is mismanaging the economy as higher unemployment.
While there’s every chance that the election will be tighter than the polls suggested a few weeks ago, there’s also a strong tendency to overlook the difficulty the Morrison government will have in holding on. Of course, it doesn’t help when the media keep asking Labor how much things will cost, while never asking the same question of the Liberals.
According to the framing, Labor spends money on things like infrastructure and education, while the Liberals invest in infrastructure and education.
Source: The Media, Ted Baillieu And Curry Recipes For Scotty – » The Australian Independent Media Network
Yes, I could go on pointing out the differences and it wouldn’t soothe the nerves of those who fear that Morrison will do it again. And who knows, he might. So with that in mind, I thought I’d concentrate on the upside of Morrison’s win. He’ll destroy the Liberal Party.
Source: The Upside Of Scott Morrison Winning The Election! – » The Australian Independent Media Network
Truth in Irony
Let’s be quite clear here: If Scott Morrison was a jockey, the stewards would be questioning him after the election about whether he was running dead. If he was a football coach, he’d be accused of tanking. If he was a Prime Minister, he might actual do something to help the country.
Source: Wow, What An Economy, Josh Delivers A Much Better Budget Than Scomo Ever Did… – » The Australian Independent Media Network
Yes, we all know that there’s only one poll that counts, and that’s the one taken next week when the Liberals all get together to work out if it’s too late to change leader.
Source: Shock Poll Says The Same Thing That The Other Polls Have Said… – » The Australian Independent Media Network
On that final point, I have to stop writing. I was going to list Morrison’s non-achievements, but the list of things he hasn’t done is far too long for the one article. However, if any publisher would like to offer me a book deal I already have a title. “I’d rather spend my time in the prayer room than holding a hose!” ( Rossleigh )
Source: Morrison’s Plan To Win: Jedi Mind Trick Which Obliterates Our Collective Memory!! – » The Australian Independent Media Network
Morrison prefers his women restrained, on their backs, and lying down.
“It’s definitely not a fore-runner to a leadership spill. We’re not the Labor Party who feel the need to change leaders in order to win elections. We don’t change leaders unless we absolutely have to because someone’s unable to do whatever it is that they need to do in order not to get rolled by the party.” Once the woman’s hair was washed, Mr Morrison hurried on to his next appointment: an appearance on the Masked Singer. Information about what mask he’ll be wearing has been listed as classified under the official secrets act, but it has been confirmed that he refused the Dick Nixon mask on the grounds that it was ambiguous. Of course, the election has to be held soon and then we’ll have the Prime Minister doing all those gimmicky things to make himself appear more human and the country will just have to run itself for a while!
Source: See, Scott Morrison DOES Hold A Hose! – » The Australian Independent Media Network
It’s like I said when Domicide Perrotet was opening up the state and allowing larger gatherings: I’m not sure that “THANKS TO US YOU CAN NOW GO TO YOUR GRANNY’S FUNERAL!” is quite the vote-winning slogan that he thought it was. Still the election’s a long way off – or maybe not – and nobody’s actually cast their votes yet so anything could happen. War with China seems to be off the table and even Russia seems to be failing to invade with the speed that Petey “The General” Dutton would like, so maybe they’ll have to resort to a terror raid where they arrest the entire front bench of the Labor Party for reasons that they don’t have to divulge thanks to our anti-terror laws.
Source: As Scott Morrison says, “We’ve got our principles and if you don’t like them, we’ve got plenty of others!” – » The Australian Independent Media Network
In an amazing break with protocol, Australian of The Year, Grace Tame did not curtsy and smile at the Prime Minister, leading to outrage from people such as James McGrath and Peter Van Onselen. What’s wrong with her? Morrison manages to smile, even when he’s announcing someone’s death?
Source: Tame’s Break With Protocol And Rossleigh’s Rum Rebellion Day Honours! – » The Australian Independent Media Network
Yes, we heard about the four killed in the pink batts installations for years and they were all supposed to be Kevin Rudd’s fault, but we can have dozens dying every day and it’s just the price of a healthy economy. Who says this government doesn’t put health first? I guess the pink batts guys didn’t have “underlying health conditions”…
Source: Why You Definitely Should Do Your Own Research… – » The Australian Independent Media Network
In breaking news, there is no decision on Novak Djokovic. No, that’s it. That was the lead story in most news bulletins tonight. They could have added that there’d been no decision about a range of things like the integrity commission, the religious discrimination bill, the election date, the purchase of water bombers for bushfires, the resignation of a minister… But there’s only one story about nothing you can do per bulletin…
Source: BREAKING NEWS ON DJOKOVIC!! – » The Australian Independent Media Network
Whatever, I’m sure that he’ll get a glowing reference and will have no trouble picking something else up in the near future. Like I always say, you’ve got to hand it to Scotty. Yes, you do. There’s no way he’ll get off his backside and do it for himself!
Source: Fun Times At The RATs Party – (Republished after Premature Publication) – » The Australian Independent Media Network
Why on earth did Dan Andrews grant him a visa? Whoops, state governments don’t grant visas. We granted him a visa based on Dan Andrews say so. The medical review was an independent process. Oh look, a high profile resignation, let’s talk about that instead!!
Source: Djokovic And Our Strong Borders Or Nobody’s Going To Tampa With Morrison… – » The Australian Independent Media Network
Of course, when I say the number of positive cases, I mean the number of positive cases that we know about. Just like the boats, if we make tests another “We don’t comment about On Water Matters”, then we can sweep them under the carpet and say from the thirty three PCR tests done yesterday there were only thirty positive cases. That’s well down on the thirty thousand we had on January 6th. As for the RATs, I can already hear Morrison standing up and saying, “It’s thanks to Can-do capitalism that we have these tests in the country, if it were left to state governments we wouldn’t have got them so quickly… No, I can’t give you the numbers of tests imported because that’s commercial in confidence… No, we don’t see any need to restrict prices, these businesses are having a go and if you have a go you deserve to make a profit, we’re not socialists like Labor who’d have you paying more in taxes, whereas we’re all about choice and you can choose not to buy the RAT… Thanks, but no more questions as I have to take an important call from a world leader in discount prices so if you need a new appliance, you can get ten percent off if you buy your RATs there.”
Yes, while Australians were cheering Scott Boland, he only stopped one test.,. The other Scott has managed to stop millions!
Source: It’s Not Easy Being Privileged Or What’s Wrong With Barramundi? – » The Australian Independent Media Network
Yet, Mr Frydenberg seemed ecstatic to discover that his potential nemesis, Dr. Monique Ryan was once a Labor member. While it might be true that this might scare some of the more conservative voters off voting for her, I suspect that there are more likely to be people who would have voted Labor in the seat who may go, “Oh, she must be ok then. I’ll vote for her.” And like I said, unless there’s a North Shropshire situation where traditional Labo(u)r voters decide that it’s more important to sink the conservative candidate than vote for their actual party of choice. then most of the Independents in the various seats will have little chance of succeeding. But if any of them are actually still in the race after Labor and The Greens are eliminated, then they’ll probably get a strong preference flow from those two parties. But thanks, Josh, you may have actually sent enough votes Dr Ryan’s way to give her a realistic chance of toppling you. I suspect you’ll still limp over the line, but, if you don’t, well, at least you gave it a real shake and bake!
Source: The Genius Of Josh Frydenberg And The Art Of Shake And Bake… – » The Australian Independent Media Network
Scott Morrison is never photographed just doing his job. Because he does nothing. Abbott was. He was photographed in his budgie smugglers, on his bike, and in his volunteer fire gear because that’s what he did. He wasn’t caught posing like Morrison constantly is. Morrison thinks watching very expensive paint dry is the way to Aussie hearts. Like Lara Bingle he will too.
I don’t see Gladys standing for a number of reasons: How do the Liberals counter the obvious? She had to stand down as premier because ICAC were investigating her for misconduct and conflicts of interest, but we don’t worry about such things in Canberra. Then there’s also the: So this why she resigned her seat and didn’t merely stand down as Premier; she was planning this all along. She’s just turned her back on the people of NSW in their hour of need. The whole Morrison strategy is to talk her up and then say that she won’t stand because an unelected body like ICAC has stood in her way, and isn’t it good that we haven’t rushed into having a federal integrity body! There’s a distinct possibility that she’d be in Opposition, which might mean that she could become the Opposition leader but it’s hardly the sort of gig that one would willingly take on when you could just try for a much better paying job lobbying for Wagga. Even if the Liberals won the next election, she’d have to go to Canberra and listen to Scott Morrison’s speeches in the party room.
Source: A Tale Of Two Leaders But Whatever You Do Don’t Say It’s A Race! – » The Australian Independent Media Network
There are so many questions. Although it now seems clear that we won’t be invading Taiwan to keep it safe from China. Instead we’re sending people to the Solomon Islands which is almost as good as a war because we can ramp up the rhetoric and find a way to suggest that not supporting the government at this time of conflict would be unpatriotic. Of course, when I say time of conflict, I’m not suggesting that the Coalition is at war with itself…most of them will tell you that they’re completely united and there’s a general consensus on just about everything!
Source: Scotty Goes To War Or Series 3 Of “The Don’t Do Government”! – » The Australian Independent Media Network
Not just Culture but the systems and foundations that support it. They want to change The ABC Education, History, Voting, Democracy and who will rule Australia and it’s not the people.
Although once public figures were also pretty reluctant to use defamation proceedings on the grounds that they might amplify what would others only be heard by a handful of people. And politicians rarely did, partly because of the same reason, and partly because parliamentary privilege meant that it seemed unfair that they could defame people without legal consequence, so it might seem a bit unfair to the average voter. Now, we have the Minister for War (is that defamatory, whoops!) telling us that there should be a fund for politicians to use taxpayer money to sue people saying nasty things like they’re unfit for office. I presume this means that any successful prosecution would be paid back to the taxpayer, given that we stumped up the money in the first place. Although, when I think about it, that would mean that any. newspaper editor, businessperson or lawyer setting up a blind trust to pay for a politician’s legal costs would get the money if they’re defamation case was successful. Free speech should never be stifled, unless you have a really good lawyer.
Source: The Liberals Are Planning To Ban Cancel Culture! – » The Australian Independent Media Network
He and Tony Abbott lead Australia’s most Don’t-Do Nope Nope Nope Governments ever. They get’s paid $500,000 for Doing Nothing. It just Won’t Do.
I think it’s very much a case of what Scotty said about how problems would be solved by “can-do capitalism; not don’t-do governments”. Yes, well, just as he doesn’t hold a hose, he can now add that his party “don’t-do government”.
Source: Breaking: Scott Morrison Had A Shave This Morning! – » The Australian Independent Media Network
Gladys, whose involvement with a corrupt boyfriend where she either deliberately ignored his behaviour or was dangerously incompetent at noticing, resigns before an investigation and there’s a general bashing of teeth at the unfairness of it all. This is the middle of a pandemic and changing leaders is not something anyone should want. Dan, who may or may not be appearing in an IBAC investigation which may or may not be about his behaviour, is « refusing » to stand aside and « stubbornly » continuing to lead his state and refusing to answer questions that may be a breach of the law were he to talk about the inquiry which may or may not exist. We’ll probably know more in the coming days. And if it’s discovered that Andrews has appeared then it’s only right that he should be placed in the stocks and publicly flogged, even if he was only appearing as a witness where he is cooperating to help bring to light branch stacking in the Labor Party. (Branch stacking doesn’t occur in the Liberal Party; they only have aggressive recruitment).
Source: Gladys Behaves With Integrity And Other Stories For Journalists – » The Australian Independent Media Network
Let’s imagine a hypothetical person who I’ll call Vladimir because I’m less likely to get sued by some guy who happens to have the same name and recognises himself by the crime I’m alleging. One of the neighbours rings the police to say that the person sharing Vladimir’s house hasn’t been seen in several days and there was a lot of noise and shouting one night. The police knock on the door and ask Vladimir if they can speak to his housemate. Vlad asks them if they have a search warrant and they say no, so he says go away. The police then say that they’re pretty sure they’ll be able to get one. At this point, Vlad goes public telling Sky News that he’s going to leave Australia on the first plane because we’ve reached a point where unelected bodies like the police can just get search warrants and dig up your whole back yard even though they have no evidence and you haven’t been convicted of anything and as such you’re entitled to the presume of innocence, so that means you’re an innocent man… And all right, his housemate was involved with some shady characters and he hasn’t seen him either but there’s no evidence of wrongdoing so it’s completely terrible that the police would quest
Source: There’s No Need For A Target Until You Have A Plan For How You’ll Reach The Thing You’re Not Aiming At! – » The Australian Independent Media Network
Well, I could be wrong, but I suspect that any day now there’ll be media articles about what a mistake it would be to have a Federal Integrity Commission when ICAC is responsible for such a great Premier as Gladys having to stand down when she’s done nothing more than have loyalty to her partner and if we’d had a similar one at federal level then who knows how many of the great performers like Stuart Robert or Richard Colbeck would have lost their portfolios over some minor issue like forgetting where they left it.
Source: When I Say We Are Going Round In Circles, Do I Need A Flat Earther For Balance? – » The Australian Independent Media Network
P.S, Speaking of freedom, Clive Palmer has put out this statement: “Our position is clear and simple – Every Australian should have the right to choose what they put into their body.” Does this mean he’s supporting the legalisation of drugs?
Source: Nutzis Invade Shrine To Demand That Victoria Stop Earthquakes! – » The Australian Independent Media Network
Speaking of submarines, Christian Porter has resigned. I know that previous sentence may not seem to make sense to those of you who don’t follow politics closely but the current modus operandi of the government is to distract us from the previous disaster by pointing us in the direction of another disaster until one of them has something that we can focus on where there is more than one side of the argument. To demonstrate with a complete hypothetical:
Source: Abbott Suggests Following Britain By Reintroducing Imperial Measurements! – » The Australian Independent Media Network
Like the people who seem to be able to embrace the idea that we need to worry about mental health while not actually doing much to help people with mental health issues, as well as feeling like the budget has to get back to surplus but we need to give high income earnings tax cuts, as well as telling us that we can’t afford the NDIS but franking credits refunds to people who don’t earn a taxable income are no problem*, Gladys seems to be able to hold two seemingly contradictory positions at the same time. Yes, she was unlucky in love and that Maguire guy pulled the wool over her eyes, but she should stay Premier because she’s very astute and makes good decisions.
Source: “Mr Speaker, This Is Coalvid, Don’t Be Afraid, Embrace It, Step Toward The Light!” – » The Australian Independent Media Network
“And let me make it clear the government does not have a new position. The government’s position has always been that we need to open up immediately.” “So you’re saying that there’s no change and the government is committed to opening up as soon as it’s safe.” “No, I’m saying that Mr Morrison has been very clear that he wants these silly lockdowns to stop. Last year he told us to stop hiding under the doona even before we had a vaccine and now he’s saying that we can’t stay in the cave, so you can’t accuse him of being inconsistent.”
Source: “Some People Are Just Dying To Live With The Virus!” – » The Australian Independent Media Network
Yes, it’s the contradiction that gets me. I’m not suggesting that lockdown is easy, nor am I saying that kids unable to go to the playground won’t find it tough. I’m just wondering why now the same people who’ve been saying “Harden up, princess!” whenever anyone has talked about asylum seekers in detention, or the unemployed or any marginalised group, now suddenly find the fact that people are doing it hard a cause to be embraced. It’s almost like they’re pushing an « open up the economy and consequences be damned » agenda!
Source: Gladys In “Pride And Prejudice” – » The Australian Independent Media Network
Like I said, it’s obvious really. I once said that when I first bought a home, I one day hoped to live in a million dollar property. Little did I realise that it would happen without me moving. I also imagined that it would be a beachfront property. Given the way climate change action is happening, that might also happen without me moving, too
Source: Gladys, Climate Change And Why Some Days Everything Is So Obvious… – » The Australian Independent Media Network
Sig O’Phant: Good evening, tonight we’re bringing you an interview with the Prime Minister. Good evening, Mr Morrison.
Source: “This Won’t Be A Sympathetic Interview, Mr Morrison!” – » The Australian Independent Media Network
Quotes from the movie, Forrest Morrison: “Life is like a box of chocolates because you never know what you’re getting unless you look at the bottom of the box and then all the chocolates fall out.” – Scotty
”Listen, you promise me something, OK? Just if you’re ever in trouble, don’t be brave. You just run, OK? Just run away.” – Jenny
“I may not be a smart man, Jenny, but I know what polls are.” Scotty
”Run, Scotty, run!” Rupert Murdoch
”Stupid is as, stupid does.” Barnaby Joyce.
Source: Scott Morrison And The Ministry Of Information And Stuff That We Should Believe… – » The Australian Independent Media Network
Yes, sometimes Scott Morrison just rambles on with meaningless waffles and lies, but other times, he disappears and says nothing. Either way, his detractors are never satisfied… and speaking of Dutton and Frydenberg, apparently, Dutton thinks he has the numbers but without Mathias there to confirm them, he’s not willing to move. Josh was sure he had the numbers but after a recount, he discovered that he was short by sixty billion…
Source: Why Did We Need Katie Hopkins When We Have So Many Unemployed Bigots Here Already? – » The Australian Independent Media Network
So Labor, it’s up to you. Barnaby has told us that they don’t have a plan and this is a problem for Scott Morrison – who we’re told wants to achieve net zero emissions at the same time as vaccinating the population. Both are to happen, “as soon as possible” which is a pretty ambitious plan for most of us, but it seems pretty pedestrian for a man like him who believes in miracles. Couldn’t we have at least one of them happening before it’s possible instead of waiting for the possible? Otherwise, where’s the miracle? sigh< Maybe I should just congratulate Barnaby for achieving net zero in politics and conclude that maybe the planet knows what its doing and when the cockroaches take over, it might be an improvement.
Source: Barnaby Has Already Achieved Net Zero! – » The Australian Independent Media Network
Is it too far-fetched to suggest that in the near future, we’ll have some Liberal-friendly commentator saying that the current mess is all the fault of Labor for not winning the last election?
Source: Josh Frydenberg: Why Everything Is Labor’s Fault But Liberals Are Just Victims Of Circumstance! – » The Australian Independent Media Network
I have it on good authority – not the PMO’s office, no definitely not, we don’t need another six month long inquiry into who knew nothing and what they didn’t say about what they didn’t know – that the Prime Minister reached out to Ms Banks and tried to understand but she was too upset to express her reasons clearly and what can a bloke do when a woman just says that she’s leaving because of the disgusting behaviour and bullying of the people in charge except shake his head and sigh and make another curry. Say what you like about Mr Morrison. I always find him an inspiration.
Source: Scotty The Inspiration For My Own Four Phase Plan! – » The Australian Independent Media Network
The stroll-out by Hunt and Morrison
Like the vaccine rollout, someone else will need to take over if it’s going to be finished any time in the near future.
Source: A Guide To Covid Vaccinations OR Naked Men Startle Deer… – » The Australian Independent Media Network
“Hi Ben, I think it’s your shout.” ”Ok, two beers, thanks.” “We better drink ‘em quickly before Dictator Dan gets back and shuts the whole state down.” ”Like in NSW you mean?” ”Nah, they’ve just got a stay at home order. That’s not a lockdown. Glorious Gladys doesn’t do lockdowns. She keeps the state running..” ”Actually I believe they’re calling it a lockdown now so you may have to stop calling Gladys ‘glorious’!” “Well, even if they are locking down, it’s not really her fault.” ”How do you figure that?” ”Well all those other premiers were locking down unnecessarily when they only had a handful of cases, so she presumed that she wouldn’t have to because NSW would only be a handful of cases too.” ”Isn’t it possible that it’s because they locked down early that they only had a handful of cases?” ”I don’t think you can say that. As Scott Morrison said last year, we can’t hide under the doona forever.”
Source: Why A Stay At Home Order Is Better Than A Lockdown! – » The Australian Independent Media Network
As we seem to have entered a phase where the level of spin in the country is so great that Shane Warne would have struggled to get a game in Prime Minister’s Eleven, I’ve started wondering how the various politicians in the Morrison government had been born in previous times.
Source: If The Morrison Government Had Been Historical Figures… – » The Australian Independent Media Network
Snigger at that if you think I’m being ridiculous, but remember that this is the government that had Dan Tehan tell us that the vaccine rollout “wasn’t a race”. Why not? Well, because the Melbourne Cup is a race, so…
Source: Forget Coal, Joel And The Latest Poll: Elections Are Won With Maslov – » The Australian Independent Media Network
Spokesman: War with China is practically inevitable. I mean, just look at all the people saying it. If we don’t declare war on them soon, they’ll think we all talk and no action and refuse to take us seriously. Rossleigh: Well, if we’re going to war with them, why are we still selling them iron ore? Spokesman: I’m sorry, but I must take this phone call.
Source: Why The Media Is So Unfair On Scott Morrison… – » The Australian Independent Media Network
‘Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?’ ‘That depends a good deal on where you want to get to,’ said the Cat. ‘I don’t much care where -‘ said Alice. ‘Then it doesn’t matter which way you go,’ said the Cat. ‘- so long as I get SOMEWHERE,’ Alice added as an explanation. ‘Oh, you’re sure to do that,’ said the Cat, ‘if you only walk long enough.” – Lewis Carroll, Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland / Through the Looking-Glass Ok, consider this: your friend, Jane tells you about her new relationship. “It’s the real thing but we’re not ready to move in together or anything. We both want to lead independent lives.” Fair enough you think, but when you meet her again a few months later and ask how it’s going, she tells you that they’ve been talking about living together but there’s no rush. After a few years of this, she eventually tells you that moving in together isn’t all that important, but Scott is inching his way towards a commitment because he told her that a formal arrangement wasn’t necessary; the important thing is the relationship itself which is better than most people’s, and she’s sure that he’ll be happy to make some sort
Source: Scott Morrison Knows Someone Who Can Change The World! – » The Australian Independent Media Network