Tag: rossleigh

Why Did We Need Katie Hopkins When We Have So Many Unemployed Bigots Here Already? – » The Australian Independent Media Network

Yes, sometimes Scott Morrison just rambles on with meaningless waffles and lies, but other times, he disappears and says nothing. Either way, his detractors are never satisfied… and speaking of Dutton and Frydenberg, apparently, Dutton thinks he has the numbers but without Mathias there to confirm them, he’s not willing to move. Josh was sure he had the numbers but after a recount, he discovered that he was short by sixty billion…

Source: Why Did We Need Katie Hopkins When We Have So Many Unemployed Bigots Here Already? – » The Australian Independent Media Network

Barnaby Has Already Achieved Net Zero! – » The Australian Independent Media Network

So Labor, it’s up to you. Barnaby has told us that they don’t have a plan and this is a problem for Scott Morrison – who we’re told wants to achieve net zero emissions at the same time as vaccinating the population. Both are to happen, “as soon as possible” which is a pretty ambitious plan for most of us, but it seems pretty pedestrian for a man like him who believes in miracles. Couldn’t we have at least one of them happening before it’s possible instead of waiting for the possible? Otherwise, where’s the miracle? sigh< Maybe I should just congratulate Barnaby for achieving net zero in politics and conclude that maybe the planet knows what its doing and when the cockroaches take over, it might be an improvement.

Source: Barnaby Has Already Achieved Net Zero! – » The Australian Independent Media Network

Josh Frydenberg: Why Everything Is Labor’s Fault But Liberals Are Just Victims Of Circumstance! – » The Australian Independent Media Network

Is it too far-fetched to suggest that in the near future, we’ll have some Liberal-friendly commentator saying that the current mess is all the fault of Labor for not winning the last election?

Source: Josh Frydenberg: Why Everything Is Labor’s Fault But Liberals Are Just Victims Of Circumstance! – » The Australian Independent Media Network

Scotty The Inspiration For My Own Four Phase Plan! – » The Australian Independent Media Network

I have it on good authority – not the PMO’s office, no definitely not, we don’t need another six month long inquiry into who knew nothing and what they didn’t say about what they didn’t know – that the Prime Minister reached out to Ms Banks and tried to understand but she was too upset to express her reasons clearly and what can a bloke do when a woman just says that she’s leaving because of the disgusting behaviour and bullying of the people in charge except shake his head and sigh and make another curry. Say what you like about Mr Morrison. I always find him an inspiration.

Source: Scotty The Inspiration For My Own Four Phase Plan! – » The Australian Independent Media Network

A Guide To Covid Vaccinations OR Naked Men Startle Deer… – » The Australian Independent Media Network

The stroll-out by Hunt and Morrison

Like the vaccine rollout, someone else will need to take over if it’s going to be finished any time in the near future.

Source: A Guide To Covid Vaccinations OR Naked Men Startle Deer… – » The Australian Independent Media Network

Why A Stay At Home Order Is Better Than A Lockdown! – » The Australian Independent Media Network

“Hi Ben, I think it’s your shout.” ”Ok, two beers, thanks.” “We better drink ‘em quickly before Dictator Dan gets back and shuts the whole state down.” ”Like in NSW you mean?” ”Nah, they’ve just got a stay at home order. That’s not a lockdown. Glorious Gladys doesn’t do lockdowns. She keeps the state running..” ”Actually I believe they’re calling it a lockdown now so you may have to stop calling Gladys ‘glorious’!” “Well, even if they are locking down, it’s not really her fault.” ”How do you figure that?” ”Well all those other premiers were locking down unnecessarily when they only had a handful of cases, so she presumed that she wouldn’t have to because NSW would only be a handful of cases too.” ”Isn’t it possible that it’s because they locked down early that they only had a handful of cases?” ”I don’t think you can say that. As Scott Morrison said last year, we can’t hide under the doona forever.”

Source: Why A Stay At Home Order Is Better Than A Lockdown! – » The Australian Independent Media Network

If The Morrison Government Had Been Historical Figures… – » The Australian Independent Media Network

As we seem to have entered a phase where the level of spin in the country is so great that Shane Warne would have struggled to get a game in Prime Minister’s Eleven, I’ve started wondering how the various politicians in the Morrison government had been born in previous times.

Source: If The Morrison Government Had Been Historical Figures… – » The Australian Independent Media Network

Forget Coal, Joel And The Latest Poll: Elections Are Won With Maslov – » The Australian Independent Media Network

Snigger at that if you think I’m being ridiculous, but remember that this is the government that had Dan Tehan tell us that the vaccine rollout “wasn’t a race”. Why not? Well, because the Melbourne Cup is a race, so…

Source: Forget Coal, Joel And The Latest Poll: Elections Are Won With Maslov – » The Australian Independent Media Network

Why The Media Is So Unfair On Scott Morrison… – » The Australian Independent Media Network

Spokesman: War with China is practically inevitable. I mean, just look at all the people saying it. If we don’t declare war on them soon, they’ll think we all talk and no action and refuse to take us seriously. Rossleigh: Well, if we’re going to war with them, why are we still selling them iron ore? Spokesman: I’m sorry, but I must take this phone call.

Source: Why The Media Is So Unfair On Scott Morrison… – » The Australian Independent Media Network

Scott Morrison Knows Someone Who Can Change The World! – » The Australian Independent Media Network

‘Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?’ ‘That depends a good deal on where you want to get to,’ said the Cat. ‘I don’t much care where -‘ said Alice. ‘Then it doesn’t matter which way you go,’ said the Cat. ‘- so long as I get SOMEWHERE,’ Alice added as an explanation. ‘Oh, you’re sure to do that,’ said the Cat, ‘if you only walk long enough.” – Lewis Carroll, Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland / Through the Looking-Glass Ok, consider this: your friend, Jane tells you about her new relationship. “It’s the real thing but we’re not ready to move in together or anything. We both want to lead independent lives.” Fair enough you think, but when you meet her again a few months later and ask how it’s going, she tells you that they’ve been talking about living together but there’s no rush. After a few years of this, she eventually tells you that moving in together isn’t all that important, but Scott is inching his way towards a commitment because he told her that a formal arrangement wasn’t necessary; the important thing is the relationship itself which is better than most people’s, and she’s sure that he’ll be happy to make some sort

Source: Scott Morrison Knows Someone Who Can Change The World! – » The Australian Independent Media Network

Desk Jobs And Numbers Aren’t Always Boring! – » The Australian Independent Media Network

Anyway, the joke went like this: “One in three road accidents is caused by someone with alcohol in their system… This means that two-thirds of the accidents are caused by SOBER PEOPLE! Why don’t they get off the road and give the poor drunks a go?”

Desk Jobs And Numbers Aren’t Always Boring! – » The Australian Independent Media Network

Prayer Groups And Prayer Rooms And Liberals On Their Knees! – » The Australian Independent Media Network

However, it does make one wonder how lax things must be at NewsCorp when a complaint like that is mentioned in the PM’s press conference. I mean, who told him? If the Liberals can keep a sexual assault so confidential that Scott Morrison never hears about it, how did he find out about this one? Surely not gossip because he never comments on that, so it must have been official. Still, criticising the culture at a Murdoch operation is a brave move. A very brave move. He’ll be gone within the week!

Prayer Groups And Prayer Rooms And Liberals On Their Knees! – » The Australian Independent Media Network

Scotty And Those Lucky Women… – » The Australian Independent Media Network

Ok, I think I got most of it. I’m writing it from memory so I may not have it one hundred percent accurate but like I said, I am auditioning for Peter Van Onselen’s role writing for “The Australian” so accuracy isn’t really needed… Whoops, is that defamatory? Or do you have to actually diminish someone’s reputation which PvO has already done that himself?

Scotty And Those Lucky Women… – » The Australian Independent Media Network

Democracy Is Really Just Mob Rule And Why I’m Innocent Of Everything – » The Australian Independent Media Network

If you take the personalities out it and ask yourself the simple question: Who is more worthy of being listened to? A family who has been put there by Divine Right, or an actress from a television show. You realise that it doesn’t matter who’s telling the truth because the Queen and her family are our heads of state and we should never question anything they say even if it is a complete load of bollocks and we know they have a history of racism and historic support of the Nazis. Yes, we should support the Royal family whatever they do because otherwise, it’s just mob rule… Or as some like to call it, democracy.

Democracy Is Really Just Mob Rule And Why I’m Innocent Of Everything – » The Australian Independent Media Network

The Presumption Of Innocence Is Reserved For Those With A Good Lawyer… – » The Australian Independent Media Network

Too often we say that someone was cleared of an offence when it was simply that there wasn’t enough proof to convict. O.J. Simpson was found “Not guilty” but I’d suggest that nobody would be prepared to say categorically that he was innocent of the crime. So with no complainant and the police unlikely to proceed, exactly what can happen from here? Mm, well I’m pretty sure the police won’t be proceeding, so we’re left with the Monopoly card. If nobody’s convicted then everyone’s not guilty and entitled to the presumption of innocence and that’s the way it should be, because under this government unless it’s a hanging offence you don’t resign – unless you’re a woman. And the PM asked the alleged man and he allegedly rejected the accusation and that should be enough. I look forward to Martin Bryant’s release any day now…

The Presumption Of Innocence Is Reserved For Those With A Good Lawyer… – » The Australian Independent Media Network

When You Call Me Privileged, It’s Just The Politics of Envy! – » The Australian Independent Media Network

When I was younger and in severe financial stress, I observed first hand how people didn’t notice their privilege. When expressing my dissatisfaction with my lack of money, a friend advised me to just forget about it and go out. I reminded her that I just explained that I had no money. “You mean you have NO money?” No, I replied, nothing till I next get paid. Ok, at least I was going to get paid and that would enable me to keep my head above water for long enough to take a breath, so I guess even I had a privilege that I didn’t see. All of which brings me to the recent changes to JobSeeker.

When You Call Me Privileged, It’s Just The Politics of Envy! – » The Australian Independent Media Network

Note To Morrison: “You’re Going To Need A Bigger Carpet!” – » The Australian Independent Media Network

With all the things that the Coalition have swept under the carpet, I can’t help but think it’s about time someone asked the Promo Minister if he has any plans to get a bigger one.

Note To Morrison: “You’re Going To Need A Bigger Carpet!” – » The Australian Independent Media Network

Why The Public Don’t Understand The Give And Take Of Political Interviews! – » The Australian Independent Media Network

Or could we start by simply acknowledging that the Canberra press gallery have basically argued that they need to keep sweet with politicians and print their press releases without much criticism or else they’ll miss out on getting the scoop of the early press release?

Why The Public Don’t Understand The Give And Take Of Political Interviews! – » The Australian Independent Media Network

Joel Fitzgibbon Helps Albo Show Who’s In Charge! – » The Australian Independent Media Network

Still after Brexit, Donald Trump, Boris Johnson, Scott Morrison and everything else that’s happened, betting on the most unlikely result would have made some people rich!

Joel Fitzgibbon Helps Albo Show Who’s In Charge! – » The Australian Independent Media Network

Australia Day OR Fun With Flags… – » The Australian Independent Media Network

Whatever one thinks about the date, I can’t help but wonder why there are so many yobbos running around with Australian flags on their back. The flag wasn’t in existence on when Captain Phillip landed so they should really be running around with a British flag if they wanted to be traditionalists.

Australia Day OR Fun With Flags… – » The Australian Independent Media Network

Just Don’t Try To Make Sense And Accept That The Liberals Can Flip Position Without Anyone Noticing! – » The Australian Independent Media Network

This loosely is how the Google/Australian media controversy has gone. If I use Google to look up Scott Morrison to see whether he’s announced that he’s taking another break and I’m directed to an article by newspaper that doesn’t have a paywall, then they’ll be relying on advertising from the traffic that goes to their site in order to make money. Why they’d argue that Google should be forced to pay, I can’t work out. It would be different if Google was plagiarising the articles or breaching their copyright, but if the media companies aren’t happy with this arrangement, then they can put all their articles behind a paywall.

Just Don’t Try To Make Sense And Accept That The Liberals Can Flip Position Without Anyone Noticing! – » The Australian Independent Media Network

Acting Prime Minister Morrison, Acting Prime Minister McCormack And Not Acting At All – » The Australian Independent Media Network

Is the decision of the editor not to publish my letter substantially different from Twitter’s decision to cease the publication of Trump’s opinions? If the answer is that he has the right to be published because he’s President, then you’ve already decided that, when it comes to freedom of speech, it’s no longer a right but a privilege granted to the important few and the rest of us just have to accept that it’s conditional for the many. If you need to ask permission, it’s no longer a right.

Acting Prime Minister Morrison, Acting Prime Minister McCormack And Not Acting At All – » The Australian Independent Media Network

Why You’re Wrong About Journalists And If You Disagree You’re Toxic! – » The Australian Independent Media Network

Some of you may have avoided the toxic cesspool of Twitter, but let me tell you it’s been rough on some of the journalists because, well, sometimes people disagree with them.

Why You’re Wrong About Journalists And If You Disagree You’re Toxic! – » The Australian Independent Media Network

War With China So Thank God Those Subs Are On Their Way… – » The Australian Independent Media Network

Perhaps my young dog gave me a better analogy. He’s still at a stage where he’s likely to steal shoes or other miscellaneous objects. When he gives them back without a fight, I pat him on the head and say, “Good boy!” This doesn’t mean that I trust him not to steal another one and neither does it mean that I believe I’ll get it back without a fight… I suspect that many of the Australians who gave Morrison a tick of approval feel exactly the same way.

War With China So Thank God Those Subs Are On Their Way… – » The Australian Independent Media Network

We Have Liberal Leaders In Charge – Thank God! – » The Australian Independent Media Network

But if we apply their own standards, imagine if a Labor government did this: Promise that we were “back in black” pre-election, only to fail to deliver a budget at the specified time because it’s all too uncertain. Have unemployment jump Preside over the first Australian recession this century Deliver the biggest deficit in our history Borrow more than all the previous Australian governments combined Have no plan to pay it back until some unspecified date when unemployment is less than 6% Destroy our trade with our biggest trading partner by calling for an investigation into Covid-19 which pointed the finger at China

We Have Liberal Leaders In Charge – Thank God! – » The Australian Independent Media Network

The Liberals Always Have A Plan And An Announcement To Remind You That One Exists… – » The Australian Independent Media Network

Cults need their followers to be in constant contact because without that, followers may start to notice that there are more sensible ways of looking at things. So whenever I here the Liberals say that they have a plan, I can’t help but think that – when other people say it – we actually expect the person saying them to follow up by describing the actual plan.

The Liberals Always Have A Plan And An Announcement To Remind You That One Exists… – » The Australian Independent Media Network

Biden Loses OR Who Needs Votes When You Can Crown Yourself King Donald? – » The Australian Independent Media Network

The great advantage of writing satire is that when you tell the truth, nobody believes you. This is fortunate because it means that no secret service people whisk me away to interrogate me about who’s leaking all this top secret stuff.

Biden Loses OR Who Needs Votes When You Can Crown Yourself King Donald? – » The Australian Independent Media Network

Trump Loses OR The Devil Went Down To Georgia! – » The Australian Independent Media Network

The media are reporting that anti-Trump protesters are outnumbering pro-Trump protesters at various places throughout the USA. This is being disputed by the Trump camp who argue that only protesters who’d been there since Election Day should be counted.

Trump Loses OR The Devil Went Down To Georgia! – » The Australian Independent Media Network

The Recession Is Over So Let’s Thank Josh Frydenberg… – » The Australian Independent Media Network

Ok, the recession isn’t really over yet. I’m just getting in early because the Deputy Governor of the Reserve Bank said something about growth that gave rise to a headline or two about the recession being over.

The Recession Is Over So Let’s Thank Josh Frydenberg… – » The Australian Independent Media Network

2020: It Doesn’t Exist And I Have Entered A Parallel Universe! – » The Australian Independent Media Network

In the recent few days, there’s the Cartier watches; the ABC paying Foxtel so that they can cover women’s soccer after Foxtel was given government money to cover women’s sport; the disappearance of all documents relating to the “grants” in NSW; the realisation that even if Trump is voted out, some people still think that Donald Trump is a reasonable pick for President; the confusion that, four years after Trump’s surprise win, the best the Democrats could come up with was Joe Biden; the media’s presentation of the Melbourne lockdown protests and the fact that many people are tipping Richmond to win the AFL flag by more points than they’re likely to kick for the whole game… Strangely that last one is the least of my concerns! Ok, let me take them one at a time:

2020: It Doesn’t Exist And I Have Entered A Parallel Universe! – » The Australian Independent Media Network

Forget Kevin Rudd’s Petition, I Have A Much Better Idea… – » The Australian Independent Media Network

To anyone who looks for consistency, political commentary can be confusing. You know the sort of thing, Brett Sutton is meant to be in trouble because he claims that he didn’t remember something in one of the thousands of emails he received, but Gladys is ok because she can’t be expected to remember that her boyfriend had to stand down because he was dodgy.

Forget Kevin Rudd’s Petition, I Have A Much Better Idea… – » The Australian Independent Media Network

The Poor Women Has A Right To A Private Life! – » The Australian Independent Media Network

Public or Private Service

The media can be quite invasive. What right did they have to splash this poor woman’s personal life across their front pages and to lead with stories about her poor judgement? Ok, there may have been criminal activity involved, but is it her fault if she happens to be involved with the wrong guy.

The Poor Women Has A Right To A Private Life! – » The Australian Independent Media Network

It’s Clear My Wife Doesn’t Understand How Good Scott Morrison Is! – » The Australian Independent Media Network

It should be obvious that it’s only thanks to me that we’re in this position and that she should show a little gratitude to me and ScoMo, but no, it’s all, blame, blame, blame. Why she even suggested that the budget was terrible for women over thirty five because they’d actually find it harder to get work after the youth subsidies. She completely overlooks that the infrastructure spending will mean that they have nicer roads to travel on while they look for work and all the promised mental health support if they can’t cope with not getting it. That’s the trouble with the left. They’re just never grateful.

It’s Clear My Wife Doesn’t Understand How Good Scott Morrison Is! – » The Australian Independent Media Network

Trump, Conspiracies And Occam’s Razor! – » The Australian Independent Media Network

So if I were forced to pick between this being real and something Trump made up, I’d pick the scenario that he has actually been diagnosed with Covid-19 for a few simple Occam’s Razor-like reasons: 1) He’s been trying to play down Covid-19 all year, so to now tell people it’s something that can disrupt his election campaign suggests that he might have got it wrong. 2) Disappearing for a few days or weeks disrupts his narrative that he’s a strong man and nothing can stop him. 3) The fact that Hope Hicks was diagnosed first and then he and Melanie got tested indicates a level of planning that I suspect would be too difficult for Trump as it involves a two-step plan. 4) It’s been suggested that the Republicans told him to hide away so that he didn’t have to do any more debates because he lost. Trump never listens to anyone so it’s unlikely he’d believe them about either losing the debate or the necessity of hiding so that he didn’t need to do more. 5) This puts Covid-19 front and centre when Trump has been trying to shift the campaign chatter to the economy. While he could theoretically argue that the big drop in markets when he tested positive shows how much he’s needed, that’s not the sort of argument that sways many people. It’s sort of like when your partner turns up late when you’ve been trying to prepare for guests and says, “Wow, look at the mess you’re in. This just shows how important I am!” If you really wanted to impress, it would have been better to have been there.

Trump, Conspiracies And Occam’s Razor! – » The Australian Independent Media Network

Scott Morrison Giving People The Ships! – » The Australian Independent Media Network

Now, I know some of you will be pointing out that Morrison and his band of merry men aren’t one of those who’ve agreed to a pay freeze/reduction, but remember they’re all struggling on upwards of $200,000 a year and Josh hasn’t even announced the tax cut for people like that yet… Mm, if not receiving promised increases are cuts, should reducing the tax you pay in the future be considered a tax cut?

Scott Morrison Giving People The Ships! – » The Australian Independent Media Network

The Economy Above All – Even Life Itself! – » The Australian Independent Media Network

And with the money we save we could afford to give even greater tax cuts to those having a go. Yes, it’s all in how you frame it. Apparently it’s fine to suggest that we can’t afford any economic slowdown just to keep old people alive. After all, they’ve had a pretty good innings so they can just shut up and accept that Covid-19 will kill a few of them. Yes, that seems to be an acceptable way to treat the elderly if you’re a politician or an economist or someone who has a media gig… But if you should suggest touching their franking credits, you’re some sort of monster!

The Economy Above All – Even Life Itself! – » The Australian Independent Media Network

Reducing Energy Prices And Getting The Debt and Deficit Under Control or Back To The Future XXIV – » The Australian Independent Media Network

Anyway, this latest proposal should go a long way towards helping get us out of the current recession. There’s nothing like a power plant that hasn’t been built for bringing down energy prices. I can’t work out why some people are being cynical about it! Ok, back into the Delorean. I’d make a little trip into the future to see when the plant is actually built, but there may not be enough fuel in the universe to get there and back!

Reducing Energy Prices And Getting The Debt and Deficit Under Control or Back To The Future XXIV – » The Australian Independent Media Network

Tim Smith Is Paid A Lot More Than Me And His Achievements Are Abusive Tweets… – » The Australian Independent Media Network

Although the gods do seem to starting to say that it’s about time your luck ran out, Mr Morrison. Big announcement on vaccines, then a few days later the trial is halted. Ok, it’s always likely that there could be a glitch and that there needs to be a pause in a medical trial. That’s why it takes so long to get a new drug or vaccine on the market. I’m just amused that the timing was so soon after the BIG ANNOUNCEMENT. Usually the Liberals make the BIG ANNOUNCEMENT and it’s some months later when we discover that only $27.38 was spent out of the $2 billion announced owing to people not filling in the application form before the due date which was two days before the form was released to the public.

Tim Smith Is Paid A Lot More Than Me And His Achievements Are Abusive Tweets… – » The Australian Independent Media Network

Vale Dave Graeber – » The Australian Independent Media Network

When one writes satire, it’s sometimes hard to write something serious and have people realise that you’re actually just writing what you actually think, particularly if one is simply describing the political situation in countries where people like Scotty, Boris and Donald are leaders. However, I felt that I should note the passing of Dave Graeber, the writer of two of my favourite non-fiction books, Debt: The First 5,000 Years and Bullshit Jobs: A Theory.

Vale Dave Graeber – » The Australian Independent Media Network

The Important Thing Says Scotty Is That The Wheels on The Bus Go Round And Round… – » The Australian Independent Media Network

PRIME MINISTER: Well the bus is going all the way up to Rockie and that’s where it was always planning to go. I mean, it’s a big state and I need to cover as much of it in four days as I can. So we were never planning to take the bus to Townsville, we’d always planned to take that last leg up to Townsville by plane because that was the most effective way to get there and to spend the most time there with people on the ground. I mean, these visits aren’t about sitting on a bus. They’re about actually engaging with small businesses and our supporters and the people of Queensland and listening to them.

JOURNALIST: Then why have the bus?

PRIME MINISTER: Because it gets me from A to B.

JOURNALIST: Will you be taking the bus to Rockhampton from here?

PRIME MINISTER: Yes. The bus will be going to Rockhampton from here. That’s right.

JOURNALIST: With you on it? PRIME MINISTER: I’ve got to get there earlier than the bus tonight.

The Important Thing Says Scotty Is That The Wheels on The Bus Go Round And Round… – » The Australian Independent Media Network

Morrison Promises Free Rides For All Once Unicorn Is Genetically Engineered! – » The Australian Independent Media Network

Ok, I’ve realised that it’s not even worth commenting any more. I mean there are only three sorts of people in the world: Those who are already aware that Morrison is all about the announcement and the details can be worked out later, but they almost certainly won’t be because the devil is in the detail and he definitely doesn’t want to go round releasing the devil. Those who believe Scotty and, incidentally, are buying shares in my unicorn which is a certainty for the Melbourne Cup because unicorns can fly, and finally, Those with a vested interest in seeing Morrison succeed.

Morrison Promises Free Rides For All Once Unicorn Is Genetically Engineered! – » The Australian Independent Media Network

“When It Rains Everyone Gets A Rising Tide To Lift All Boats!” says Scott Morrison – » The Australian Independent Media Network

Anyway, back in Canberra the Saviour was able to quickly explain the situation in aged care facilities:

The challenges are not unique to Australia so don’t try and blame the Federal Government who is responsible for the regulation of aged care.
It’s inevitable that Covid-19 will get into aged care facilities because of the high rate of community infection.
It’s being brought in by staff and not spontaneously appearing in the residents who are under lockdown and not allowed to leave.
Brendan Murphy still agrees with Morrison even though he’s no longer CMO but he’s always available for a press conference.
“When it rains, everyone gets wet.” This I presume is because the profit motive is so strong and the regulations so lax in Aged Care Facilities that there’s no necessity to fix the holes in the roof.

via “When It Rains Everyone Gets A Rising Tide To Lift All Boats!” says Scott Morrison – » The Australian Independent Media Network

We Can’t Change Our History, But We Can Make It More Expensive! – » The Australian Independent Media Network

When the Prime Minister made the bold assertion that there was no slavery in Australia, many were quick to point out his poor knowledge of our history forcing Morrison to correct himself. Of course, many people would have left it as that, but not our leader.

No, we can’t have all these elites telling the PM that he’s wrong, so he sprung into action and doubled the price of doing a Humanities course at university. That’ll teach those smart-arises to correct him.

via We Can’t Change Our History, But We Can Make It More Expensive! – » The Australian Independent Media Network

PM Scotty Joins The Commentary Team! – » The Australian Independent Media Network

Anyway, it’s good to know that Scotty will be providing commentary from now on. I look forward to his take on such things as how the Liberals manage branch stacking when they don’t – as Malcolm told us – have factions. Or perhaps commentary on Bridget McKenzie’s skill that enables her to criticise Labor for inappropriateness, while keeping a straight face. I look forward to him providing a running commentary on exactly why he rejects the premise of any question that doesn’t suit him.

And I particularly look forward to his commentary when told about an upcoming leadership challenge or Liberal Party scandal…

No, I don’t know anything but it’s been over eighteen months since the last change of PM, so surely someone must start spreading rumours soon. And it’s been over a week since the last suggestion of Liberal Party corruption… Or clever politics, as the MSM refer to it.

Surely something must be about to happen.

via PM Scotty Joins The Commentary Team! – » The Australian Independent Media Network

Scottie, It’s Time To Get Democracy From Under The Doona! – » The Australian Independent Media Network

Just twelve months ago, I was thinking about what a challenge writing was going to be. I mean, I expected that we were going to have a Shorten Labor government and, while I was sure that it would only be a matter of time before I’d be able to apply my satiric style to them, I was sure it was going to be more of a challenge. Let’s be real. With the Coalition the satire practically writes itself.

Take, for example, Scottie telling us that it’s time to get out from under the doona and that we need to get things moving again while it’s still too dangerous to fully re-open Parliament…

via Scottie, It’s Time To Get Democracy From Under The Doona! – » The Australian Independent Media Network

They Tell Me The Internet Is Down; I Know Bill Gates Is To Blame… – » The Australian Independent Media Network

It does strike me as a little premature for the Treasurer and others to start saying that whatever we spend now will have to be paid back. While we need a nuanced discussion about the best way to get the economy roaring along like the turtle it was pre-Coronavirus, to tweet something like that seems a bit premature. Like a doctor telling a family just before someone has surgery that the bill will need to be paid even if the patient dies.

It’s true, but it does make him sound as though the main thing on his mind is the health of his bank balance rather than the health of his patient.

via They Tell Me The Internet Is Down; I Know Bill Gates Is To Blame… – » The Australian Independent Media Network

Playing Dice With God And Other Stories Of Rupert Murdoch! – » The Australian Independent Media Network

Who was dutifully promoting and playin wingman to this bullshit none other than Andrew Bolt (ODT)

After my essential journey to the supermarket to buy chocolate, I couldn’t help noticing the front page headline on “The Australian” which blared:

TEACHERS DEFYING VIRUS SCIENCE

Quite a neat trick rely, I thought. How does one “defy” science? Is it like defying gravity? Or is it like defying your boss and announcing that there’s no way you’re going to perform that task without the correct safety equipment?

No, what I find amazing is the sheer hypocrisy of a newspaper that can switch from an “everyone has a right to an opinion and scientists have been wrong in the past” position to a “you don’t have the right to question because you’ve been told by the PM so shut up and do what you’re told” stance.

And, of course, this completely overlooks the fact that teachers are doing what they’re told. In some states, teacher unions are pushing to ensure safety, but to the best of my knowledge none have suggested teachers refusing to attend school. Except for private schools, it’s state governments who’ve made the decisions about schools, not the teachers themselves.

Still, Rupert’s editors have never let the truth get in the way of the story.

via Playing Dice With God And Other Stories Of Rupert Murdoch! – » The Australian Independent Media Network