Tag: Irony

“When It Rains Everyone Gets A Rising Tide To Lift All Boats!” says Scott Morrison – » The Australian Independent Media Network

Anyway, back in Canberra the Saviour was able to quickly explain the situation in aged care facilities:

The challenges are not unique to Australia so don’t try and blame the Federal Government who is responsible for the regulation of aged care.
It’s inevitable that Covid-19 will get into aged care facilities because of the high rate of community infection.
It’s being brought in by staff and not spontaneously appearing in the residents who are under lockdown and not allowed to leave.
Brendan Murphy still agrees with Morrison even though he’s no longer CMO but he’s always available for a press conference.
“When it rains, everyone gets wet.” This I presume is because the profit motive is so strong and the regulations so lax in Aged Care Facilities that there’s no necessity to fix the holes in the roof.

via “When It Rains Everyone Gets A Rising Tide To Lift All Boats!” says Scott Morrison – » The Australian Independent Media Network

PM Scotty Joins The Commentary Team! – » The Australian Independent Media Network

Anyway, it’s good to know that Scotty will be providing commentary from now on. I look forward to his take on such things as how the Liberals manage branch stacking when they don’t – as Malcolm told us – have factions. Or perhaps commentary on Bridget McKenzie’s skill that enables her to criticise Labor for inappropriateness, while keeping a straight face. I look forward to him providing a running commentary on exactly why he rejects the premise of any question that doesn’t suit him.

And I particularly look forward to his commentary when told about an upcoming leadership challenge or Liberal Party scandal…

No, I don’t know anything but it’s been over eighteen months since the last change of PM, so surely someone must start spreading rumours soon. And it’s been over a week since the last suggestion of Liberal Party corruption… Or clever politics, as the MSM refer to it.

Surely something must be about to happen.

via PM Scotty Joins The Commentary Team! – » The Australian Independent Media Network

They Tell Me The Internet Is Down; I Know Bill Gates Is To Blame… – » The Australian Independent Media Network

It does strike me as a little premature for the Treasurer and others to start saying that whatever we spend now will have to be paid back. While we need a nuanced discussion about the best way to get the economy roaring along like the turtle it was pre-Coronavirus, to tweet something like that seems a bit premature. Like a doctor telling a family just before someone has surgery that the bill will need to be paid even if the patient dies.

It’s true, but it does make him sound as though the main thing on his mind is the health of his bank balance rather than the health of his patient.

via They Tell Me The Internet Is Down; I Know Bill Gates Is To Blame… – » The Australian Independent Media Network

Please, won’t you just say it as it is? – » The Australian Independent Media Network

In the interests of length I have omitted Angus Taylor’s alleged Cayman Island company, Peter Dutton failing to register one of his companies, and George Christensen summoning the Chinese Ambassador before a Senate Committee.

via Please, won’t you just say it as it is? – » The Australian Independent Media Network

AFP Finds No Evidence That Malcolm Roberts Exists – » The Australian Independent Media Network

Of course when I say that the Australian Federal Police found no evidence of the existence of Malcolm Roberts, I have to be fair and point out that they didn’t look for any. As with the Angus Taylor case, they saw no need to waste valuable resources when there was very little likelihood of finding any evidence. And there was obvioulsy almost no chance of finding any evidence because they weren’t going to look.

via AFP Finds No Evidence That Malcolm Roberts Exists – » The Australian Independent Media Network

As An Old White Male, Nobody Listens To Me But You Can Read My Column… – » The Australian Independent Media Network

There’s a rumour going around that Scott Morrison is in Hawaii staying in a Trump hotel with his wife and family, which includes the Hillsong guy who may or may not have been uninvited to the Whitehouse. This has caused some criticism from people who think he should be providing some sort of leadership because there are one or two fires burning round the country.

via As An Old White Male, Nobody Listens To Me But You Can Read My Column… – » The Australian Independent Media Network

Ita, Tim Wilson, Peter Dutton And The Water Boy… – » The Australian Independent Media Network

Anyway, I couldn’t help but feel that there was a little bit of inconsistency being shown here. I don’t just mean because Dutton is suggesting that we should be arresting our own protestors, while Wilson is disrupting traffic in another country. I’m talking about our position on China.

via Ita, Tim Wilson, Peter Dutton And The Water Boy… – » The Australian Independent Media Network

The Best Form Of Charity Is To Be A Billionaire… – » The Australian Independent Media Network

When the Liberals suggest that the best form of welfare is a job, they are using the word “welfare” in a way that suggests that the health and happiness of someone unemployed would be better if they were to have a job, rather than “welfare” meaning financial support given to someone in need. While this is obvious enough, it’s only when we stop and use the word “welfare” in the question and replace the ambiguous word with something else that we get the full subtext.

“Will you be increasing welfare payments to the unemployed?”

“We believe that the best way of improving their situation would be to get them a job.”

“So how will you be getting them a job?”

“By telling them that if they have a go, they’ll get a go.”

“But what about the ones who still don’t get a job? Will you increase welfare payments to them?”

“No, because only a job will help them. Giving people financial support when they’re out of work is no substitute for that.”

“But what if they don’t still don’t get a job?”

“Look, unemployment support is only meant to be a temporary thing, so if people don’t get a job, it’s their problem.”

via The Best Form Of Charity Is To Be A Billionaire… – » The Australian Independent Media Network

How Good Is Communism? OR ScoMo The Trotskyist – » The Australian Independent Media Network

Mm, and then there’s Gladys Liu. While she may not be a card carrying member of the Chinese Communist Party, she’s certainly belonged to organisations which are meant to advance China’s interests in other countries. When Scottie hears this, does he announce that he’ll ask the security forces to check it out? No, he calls her a great Australian and accuses people of racism for even suggesting that there are questions to answer.

Good on him, says the Chinese newspaper. (This is real, I’m not making it up).

Now imagine if Jeremy Corbyn or Bill Shorten had introduced a card to control people’s spending, presided over raids on journalists and then was praised by the Communists for standing up for a possible Chinese propaganda stooge. Yeah, I can see the Murdoch press calling for their extradition to Guatanamo Bay as a threat to the nation.
–– ADVERTISEMENT ––

But Scott, it seems, is ok right up until he says, How Good is the Socialist state?

via How Good Is Communism? OR ScoMo The Trotskyist – » The Australian Independent Media Network

“How Could We Have Known At The Time That Relentlessly Booing An Aboriginal Man Because He Spoke Up On Indigenous Issues Was Racist?” – The Shovel

Screenshot_2019-08-11 Sport – The Shovel.png

“How Could We Have Known At The Time That Relentlessly Booing An Aboriginal Man Because He Spoke Up On Indigenous Issues Was Racist?” – The Shovel

“How Good Is PR?” – » The Australian Independent Media Network

“Hi there, this is your head of Public Relations, Scott Morrison with a very important massage:

“In 2017 over 3000 Australians died by their own hand. It’s affecting our young people, it’s affecting our veterans, it’s affecting boys and girls in remote indigenous communities. It’s affecting middle-aged men 45-50 living in suburbs, the highest rate of suicide in the country. Now just this week acting on OUR initiative to make a towards zero goal a national priority, I appointed Christine Morgan as the national suicide prevention officer and that should be enough so we don’t have to worry about doing things like raising Newstart because HOW GOOD ARE JOBS? We certainly don’t have to worry about Robodebt because people should pay back money which they can’t prove they don’t owe and certainly nobody can prove that they topped themselves because of the debt.

“As for those on Manus and Nauru, we don’t have to worry because our towards zero only includes Australians, so they won’t go into the statistics…”

“How Good Is PR?” – » The Australian Independent Media Network

Tim Wilson Can Go To Hell! – » The Australian Independent Media Network

This has to do with Timmy Wilson using his recent swearing in to express his religious views to the world. In case you aren’t aware, the book he held in his hand was “Capitalism And Freedom” by Milton Friedman. Now some held a religious tome; others chose to simply swear an oath. As far as I’m aware Wilson was the only one to raise Friedman’s ideas to the level of the Bible, the Torah or the Koran. Apparently Wilson is suggesting that Friedman is some sort of latter day messiah. Why else hold the book in your hand while being sworn in?

via Tim Wilson Can Go To Hell! – » The Australian Independent Media Network

Why I’m Never Voting Labor Again… Or For The Greens… – » The Australian Independent Media Network

What is the difference between USA, AUS,UK and NZ and Canada? Rupert Murdoch Hundreds of millions invested to make Billions. Roger Ailes Movie: ‘Divide and Conquer’ Review – Rolling Stone https://www.rollingstone.com/movies/movie-reviews/roger-ailes-documentary-divide-conquer-fox-news-762855/ (ODT)

 

Liberal Party Headquarters, May 20th

Strategy Meeting. Barry and Harry, two strategists are meeting after the re-election of the Coalition Government.

via Why I’m Never Voting Labor Again… Or For The Greens… – » The Australian Independent Media Network

Jesus Demands $10 Billiion For Wrongful Crucifixion – Personally, I Blame His Dad For Not Marrying His Mum! – » The Australian Independent Media Network

And isn’t a compassionate god more likely to be on my side than Folau’s when I say that Peter Dutton and Scott Morrison are going to Hell for their treatment of the people on Manus and Nauru? I say this without even arguing for a moment that these people – including the children that Peter “Before the cock crows will deny that his constitutionally eligibility three times” Dutton insists aren’t in detention – have the right to seek asylum and are not people arriving in this country illegally… Ok, I know you may spend several minutes unpacking that sentence… Like I said, we’re all in Hell now.

via Jesus Demands $10 Billiion For Wrongful Crucifixion – Personally, I Blame His Dad For Not Marrying His Mum! – » The Australian Independent Media Network

Howard Stern, Donald Trump, and the Rise of American Fascism | The Smirking Chimp

In 2005, Trump told Stern he wanted to have kids with Melania (this was just before his affair with Stormy Daniels). “‘Cause I like kids,” said Trump. “I mean, I won’t do anything to take care of them,” he bragged. “I’ll supply funds and she’ll take care of the kids. It’s not like I’m gonna be walking the kids down Central Park.”

Prince of a fellow there, but probably not likely to be named Father of the Year, unless Lindsey Graham needs to engage in a little more personal self-abasement, or Mike Pence gets to feeling he hasn’t sucked up enough to the boss lately.

Now, however, Stern, with a book coming out, says he’s “evolved,” and that he’d “feel really shitty” if he hadn’t. Don’t look for him to turn over any of that $650 million to charities or to help the kids at the border, or make good on the harm he did by ridiculing dwarves and drunks, however, or by insulting women, or just being the Crown Prince of American Jerks, the Avatar of American Assholery.

And, unless you’re an asshole yourself, don’t buy his fuckin’ book. Send what you’d spend on that trash to provide relief for the immigrant children at the border, maybe. Or just throw the dough in the gutter.

via Howard Stern, Donald Trump, and the Rise of American Fascism | The Smirking Chimp

Let’s Stop The Hysteria, The Press Are Still Free! – » The Australian Independent Media Network

Well, it’s quite simple. Let’s imagine for a moment that I’m working for a highly sensitive department… Say something to do with stopping the boats. As we all know, “on water” matters are highly confidential… Or at least they became highly confidential after Scott Morrison became Immigration Monster; before that, everyone was free to publicise any information at all about boats arriving whether they were real or only imagined. Anyway, let’s imagine that I’m working in the department that’s in charge of stopping the boats and I discover that, in fact, the boats haven’t stopped and that there are boats arriving, sometimes carrying as many as twenty people. I quickly work out the realm is under threat because the government is secretly sneaking these so-called asylum seekers into the community and nobody has noticed even though we know have as many as three or four hundred happily minding their own business and enjoying their new life in Australia.

As a patriotic Australian, I’m outraged. I make copies of the necessary evidence and I smuggle it home where I… suddenly remember the AFP raids. And then it hits me. I can’t go to the media because I’ll almost certainly be exposed. No, I decide. I can’t take the personal risk.

See, it’s not the press that will have the problems. It’s the whistleblowers themselves. There’s no need for concern because in the future, the press won’t get the information so we won’t know whatever it is the we should be concerned about so we can all just keep going in blissful ignorance, happy that the government knows best and is having a go and helping me with my aspirations.

How good is Australia, eh?

*Just for clarification, AFP stands for Australian Federal Police and not Anti-Free Press.
Share this:

Let’s Stop The Hysteria, The Press Are Still Free! – » The Australian Independent Media Network

Big oil asks government to protect its Texas facilities from climate change – CBS News

PORT ARTHUR, Texas — As the nation plans new defenses against the more powerful storms and higher tides expected from climate change, one project stands out: an ambitious proposal to build a nearly 60-mile “spine” of concrete seawalls, earthen barriers, floating gates and steel levees on the Texas Gulf Coast.

Like other oceanfront projects, this one would protect homes, delicate ecosystems and vital infrastructure, but it also has another priority: to shield some of the crown jewels of the petroleum industry, which is blamed for contributing to global warming and now wants the federal government to build safeguards against the consequences of it.

via Big oil asks government to protect its Texas facilities from climate change – CBS News

The Facts On Chemnitz And The Far-Right’s Challenge To Democracy In Germany – New Matilda

The far-right: on the rise?

There can be little doubt that in Germany, as elsewhere in Europe, far-right parties are seeing increased success. In last year’s Bundestag (parliamentary) elections, the nationalist anti-migrant party Alternative für Deutschland gathered just over 12% of the vote, making it the third largest party nationwide.

However, it is important to note the overall numbers of people registered as involved in radical right-wing organisations in Germany has fallen from over 51,000 in 1999 to around half that number today.

More than 25 years after reunification, GDP in Germany’s east remains below that of the west, unemployment rates are higher, and more easterners than westerners feel that they are struggling to get by.

As the authors of a recent study found, racist and far-right views are commonest in Germany where the numbers of migrants and refugees are smallest.

xenophobia is weaker in areas of greater diversity shows that, whatever her detractors say, Merkel’s policy of cultural openness is the right one.

Among the most astonishing scenes in Chemnitz were those of right-wing protesters in front of a monument to Karl Marx holding up banners reading ‘Foreigners Out’ in front of a relief in which the words ‘Workers of the World, Unite!’ are spelled out in German, Russian, and French.

 

via The Facts On Chemnitz And The Far-Right’s Challenge To Democracy In Germany – New Matilda