Category: Politics

Australian citizenship: who really deserves it?Rewriting the oath of allegiance will do nothing to stop disenchanted young people from joining Islamic State.

Illustration: John Spooner

The recent controversy around citizenship proves the adage that a statement, no matter how absurd, can be taken as a truism if repeated often enough. So it is with the phrase “Australian citizenship is an extraordinary privilege” now on high rotation with federal government ministers.

For most Australians, though, citizenship is an automatic consequence of the dumb luck that saw our citizen mothers give birth in this country. While this majority is certainly privileged, in a philosophical sense, to live here, they’re also free to be ungrateful. Even committing crimes might suspend some of the rights of citizenship, but won’t revoke it. The only deal-breaker is an act of treason, such as fighting in the army of a nation with which we are at war – a provision the federal government wants to expand so that it catches dual nationals who enlist with the likes of Islamic State.

Most of the 100 or so Australian jihadis overseas are not migrants, but second-generation citizens.

So when the Prime Minister calls for “a conversation about citizenship” and the government’s discussion paper on the subject asks whether the “responsibilities of citizenship are well enough known and understood” and, most tellingly, whether eligibility for citizenship should be tightened, it’s clear who is really being talked about. And that’s migrants; newcomers who attain citizenship through bureaucratic act, rather than accident of birth; people who have been compelled to recite the citizenship pledge, whose words, Tony Abbott says, “must mean something”.
Candidates for citizenship already have permanent residency – formal citizenship is just the last administrative hurdle.

Candidates for citizenship already have permanent residency – formal citizenship is just the last administrative hurdle. Photo: Christopher Chan

To be precise, it means Muslim migrants, because the citizenship discussion paper is explicitly pegged to security threats in “a world in which terrorists are reaching out to our community”. Actually, make that Muslim migrants on welfare, because the government also trumpets its legislation to allow for welfare payments to be cancelled on security grounds. Yet, despite headlines about “jihadi dole bludgers”, last week’s Senate estimates hearings revealed none of the Australian jihadis overseas was receiving benefits.
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And even though most of the 100 or so Australian jihadis overseas are not migrants, but second-generation citizens who’ve never formally pledged their allegiance to this country, the Prime Minister has asked the public to consider whether these people, too, should be stripped of their status, if they could, theoretically, acquire citizenship elsewhere.

As we know, several of his cabinet colleagues have chaffed at the proposal, so it might not go anywhere. What seems significant, though, is the drawing of a very long bow to define these people as legally – as opposed to spiritually – un-Australian, and belonging some place else. In this way, even the most Aussie Islamist can be vaguely thought of as a “migrant”, alien to the body politic.

But trying to nail the overall logic in the “citizenship conversation” is like wrestling with an eel. Or an army of straw men.

According to the discussion paper, the government is considering beefing up the citizenship pledge “to include words about allegiance to Australia and an undertaking not to act contrary to that allegiance”. It also canvasses expanding on such themes in the citizenship test and introducing “appropriate penalties for cheating on the test”.

Remember, we’re not talking about screening suspect individuals to keep them out and the rest of us safe. Candidates for citizenship already have permanent residency – formal citizenship is simply their last administrative hurdle. If they fail the questions on allegiance, these migrants will still be among us, with all their supposed disloyalty and dubious intent.

So, rather than chasing down security threats, these measures allude to the spectre of thought crimes. And how rampant is “cheating” on these tests? We’re not told. I’m imagining people turning up with the answers to questions such as, “which official symbol of Australia identifies Commonwealth property” scribbled on their hand.

Let’s not forget that the citizenship and English language test is itself the outcome of a similar, if more coy, discussion paper on citizenship released by the Howard government nearly 10 years ago. Then parliamentary secretary for immigration Andrew Robb said citizenship “should not be handed out like confetti” and cited with distaste a recent citizenship ceremony where people cleared out before the singing of the national anthem. (Who were these people actually? Poms? Music aficionados?) In its early incarnation, the test included Anglo-centric questions about Simpson and his donkey and Don Bradman.

Since then, it’s been stripped back to civics and the democratic process – useful and important knowledge, to be sure. Still, now as then, our leaders refer to democracy, the rule of law, tolerance, compassion and so on as “Australian values”. (Interestingly, “equality between men and women” appeared in the 2006 discussion paper, but not in the one released last week, which refers only to “equal rights before the law” and “equal opportunity for all”.)

And this is where the problem is one of efficacy, as well as politics. The teen susceptible to jihadist propaganda identifies with a truly global movement, one that negates national allegiance. His pathology, I assume, is no different to that of his peers in Sweden or Spain. I’d prefer for all of us to hear a rousing defence of Western values, as opposed to the nationalist rhetoric of “Australian values” that seems packaged for populist consumption. Unfortunately, our leaders have shown themselves incapable of any meaningful engagement in this epic contest of ideas. For all the bellicose gesturing, they can’t even call the enemy, Islamic State, by its name.

Julie Szego is a Fairfax columnist, author and freelance journalist.

Chris Hedges: Karl Marx Was Right – Chris Hedges – Truthdig

Chris Hedges: Karl Marx Was Right – Chris Hedges – Truthdig.

Imagine we were a Republic and we could vote for this man as our President

Imagine we were a Republic and we could vote for this man as our President.

Angry Judeo-Christian Deity Levels Kathmandu

godfoot

KATHMANDU, NEPAL – (CT&P) – A majorly pissed off Jehovah visited his wrath upon Nepal on Saturday in the form of a magnitude 7.8 earthquake centered approximately 50 kilometers to the northwest of Kathmandu, the capital.

Over 4,000 pagans are known dead, and the toll continues to rise as volunteers continue to dig through the debris of the unbeliever’s homes and heathen temples. Over one million idolatrous children are said to have been affected by the vicious and unfeeling act of God.

A senior official in Gorkha district, the location of the earthquake’s epicenter, told the AP he had heard reports of 70% of the blasphemer’s houses being destroyed.

GOD!!

“Things are really bad in the district, especially in remote mountain villages,” Udav Prashad Timalsin said. “There are apostates who are not getting food and shelter.”

In the capital, water is becoming scarce and there are fears that sinful children in particular could be at risk of disease. Even residents of some of the city’s Republican upper class neighborhoods are sleeping on carpets and mattresses outside their homes.

Aid flights are coming in rapidly and in fact Kathmandu airport is running out of parking bays, so many aircraft are having to wait before getting permission to land.

At the Pashupatinath temple, one of the city’s oldest and most famous shrines to evil, cremations have been taking place since the morning. As the death toll rises, the authorities are keen on disposing of the bodies as quickly as possible to prevent a health hazard.

APTOPIX Nepal Earthquake

Although seismologists have warned that a large quake was overdue in Nepal, American preachers were quick to jump in to explain that seismologists were scientists and therefore could not be trusted. They insist the earthquake had nothing at all to do with plate tectonics but was the direct result of the Nepalese adopting religious beliefs that differed from their own.

Pastor Tony Miano of California-based Unhinged Ministries said that God was tired of people not following the King James Bible to the letter and refusing to obey God’s instructions delivered by ex-cops and wealthy television evangelists. He tweeted that he hoped not a single pagan shrine would be rebuilt and the people of Nepal would repent and worship the “Baby Jesus” from now on.

“Those people with their wacked-out new age religion are an affront to God,” said Miano. “It’s no wonder that Jehovah got pissed off and flattened their cities. Those people are idol worshipers and they’re just downright evil. Especially the kids.”

Pat Robertson offered a more reasoned explanation for the widespread devastation and loss of life on his hit TV show The 700 Club. Robertson was asked by a caller “why God didn’t take out more of those unbelievers like he did them Haitians?”

Miano-Tony

Robertson explained that God killed a lot more Haitians because they had entered into a contract directly with Satan by practicing voodoo.

“Just sitting around meditating and making weird noises is not near as bad as sticking pins in dolls and wandering around covered in goat’s blood looking like a zombie,” said Robertson. “Our God is a just deity and he didn’t want to punish these uneducated sherpas as badly as he did those evil minions of Lucifer in Haiti. After all, God is love.”

The earthquake also wreaked havoc on Mount Everest where 18 climbers, including four Americans, were killed by an avalanche at Base Camp.

The Reverend Franklin “I used to do drugs and hang out but finally figured out that I could make big bucks preaching the Gospel” Graham told CNN that the deaths on Everest were a direct result of Americans placing adventure travel above staying home and supporting extreme right-wing politics.

“It’s just a tragedy that God had to take this extraordinary action, but maybe it will teach everyone a lesson,” said Graham. “Maybe people will come to their senses and devote their lives to preventing homosexuals from getting married and eliminating health insurance for the poor instead of running all over the world climbing mountains.”

Meanwhile in Nepal aid is pouring in from all over the planet as the area experiences multiple aftershocks. The death toll will no doubt continue to climb, but at least the rest of the world can take comfort from the fact that almost all of the victims were pagans destined to burn in the fires of Hell anyway.

Politicians too timid to drive historic change

Illustration: Andrew Dyson

Politicians too timid to drive historic change.

Qualified to Govern or Just Born to Rule – » The Australian Independent Media Network

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Qualified to Govern or Just Born to Rule – » The Australian Independent Media Network.

“The Iranians didn’t get the Sudetenland”: Conservatives freak out over Iran nuclear framework – Salon.com

"The Iranians didn't get the Sudetenland": Conservatives freak out over Iran nuclear framework

“The Iranians didn’t get the Sudetenland”: Conservatives freak out over Iran nuclear framework – Salon.com.

How Lee Kuan Yew and Putin exposed the democracy bogey | Russia & India Report

How Lee Kuan Yew and Putin exposed the democracy bogey

How Lee Kuan Yew and Putin exposed the democracy bogey | Russia & India Report.

Oscars 2015: Laura Poitras’ Film on Edward Snowden, ‘Citizenfour,’ Nominated for Best Documentary | Democracy Now!

Citizenfour

Oscars 2015: Laura Poitras’ Film on Edward Snowden, ‘Citizenfour,’ Nominated for Best Documentary | Democracy Now!.

Calls for Social Justice Abound at the Oscars – Truthdig

Calls for Social Justice Abound at the Oscars – Truthdig.

Chapel Hill shooting and western media bigotry The religious identity of violent perpetrators is only highlighted when they’re Muslim.

In western news discourse, the implication is western societies should be suspicious of Muslims, writes Elmasry [Facebook]

In western news discourse, the implication is western societies should be suspicious of Muslims, writes Elmasry [Facebook]

About the Author

Mohamad Elmasry

Dr Mohamad Elmasry is an assistant professor in the Department of Communications at the University of North Alabama.

@elmasry_mohamad

Three Muslim Americans were murdered on Tuesday in a University of North Carolina dorm room. The crime came on the heels of recent anti-Muslim attacks in Europe, carried out in apparent response to the January murders (committed by Muslims) of Charlie Hebdo journalists in Paris.

Western media outlets will likely frame the most recent perpetrator of what some speculate is an anti-Muslim crime in the same way they frame most anti-Muslim criminals – as crazed, misguided bigots who acted alone. If past coverage is any indication, there will likely be very little suggestion that the killer acted on the basis of an ideology or as part of any larger pattern or system.

But what if acts of anti-Muslim violence are consistent with at least some strands of current western ideology? What if Islamophobia has become so commonplace, so accepted, that it now represents a hegemonic system of thought, at least for relatively large pockets of people in some regions of the West?

Portraying Islam

Given what we know both about western media portrayals of Islam and Muslims on the one hand, and media effects and theory on the other hand, it would be foolish to dismiss western media representations as potential causal factors in anti-Muslim sentiment and crime. In fact, it is likely that anti-Muslim sentiment and crime are, at least in part, driven by one-sided, narrow, sensationalistic, and arguably bigoted western media portrayals of Islam and Muslims.

Listening Post – Is the British media Islamophobic?

Many scholars – including Edward Said, Elizabeth Poole, Kai Hafez, Milly Williamson, Karim Karim, Teun Van Dijk, Kimberly Powell, and Dina Ibrahim, among others – have carried out academic studies examining western news coverage of Islam and Muslims.

Results suggest that Muslims are often portrayed in western news media as violent, backwards, fundamentalist and as threats to western civilisation. Western news coverage rarely highlights Islam except to show its possible relation to some atrocity, and Muslims are rarely mentioned in the context of news that is positive or benign.

Several studies have found that Muslims are portrayed as a homogenised body, lacking diversity and difference, with other analyses showing that news coverage of violent conflicts in the Muslim-majority world ignores context and circumstances, implying that Muslims are inherently violent and prone to conflict.

Inconsistent coverage

Other studies show inconsistent coverage of violent global and regional conflicts. When Christians, Jews and other non-Muslims are killed by Muslims, Islam is identified as playing a direct role. When Muslims are killed by Jews, Christians and other non-Muslims, however, the religious identity of the violent perpetrators is downplayed or ignored.

The ongoing conflict in Burma represents a good case-in-point. There has been little western news coverage on the recent persecution faced by Rohingya Muslims, who Human Rights Watch says have been subjected to mass killings; “crimes against humanity” and “ethnic cleansing”.

Most recently, American television news networks have underlined a possible association between groups like al-Qaeda and ISIL, on the one hand, and Islamic religious doctrine on the other. Analysts claiming that “Islam is the problem” are given prominent platforms on news talk shows, while expert Muslim voices are systematically ignored.

Notably – and in spite of the fact that each act of Muslim-perpetrated terrorism is condemned strongly by all notable Islamic universities, Islamic scholarly councils, Islamic organisations, Muslim governments, and prominent Muslim jurists – regular cries are heard from media personalities complaining that Muslims do not condemn terrorism.

Prominent media personalities

Remarkably, some prominent media personalities systematically ignore Muslim condemnations of terrorism and then scream loudly that Muslims aren’t condemning terror. Recently, both Rupert Murdoch and Piers Morgan claimed that it is primarily the responsibility of Muslims to root out and defeat the likes of al-Qaeda and ISIL.

In much of the western news discourse, the implication always seems clear; western societies should be suspicious of Muslims – all Muslims.

Ignored in these analyses, of course, are the facts that Muslims in many Muslim-majority countries are often preoccupied, battling brutal dictatorships (which are often propped up by western nations, including the US), acute poverty, and regular bombing campaigns, all of which have helped create the conditions under which groups like al-Qaeda and ISIL – both of whom kill many more Muslims than non-Muslims – thrive.

In much of the western news discourse, the implication always seems clear; western societies should be suspicious of Muslims – all Muslims. Various pundits have taken to prominent media to offer up inflated estimates of the number of Muslim terrorists, with some suggesting that “peaceful” Muslims are, in the first place, a minority, and, more importantly, only peaceful because they have misunderstood the teachings of their inherently violent religion.

Always ignored is empirical evidence – of which there is no shortage – showing that Muslims aren’t more violent than non-Muslims and that the overwhelming majority of Muslims believe terrorism to be an abomination.

The discussions carried out on television news programmes are not surprising given the structural problems associated with western news, and, importantly, the basic imbalance in sourcing. Why, for example, is Hamza Hansen, a top Muslim American public intellectual, not given a regular platform on news networks alongside anti-Islam bigots who have made careers out of dissecting Islamic textual sources they do not appear to be qualified to interpret?

Media portrayals

Importantly, western entertainment media portrayals also receive unfavourable scholarly evaluations. In the most comprehensive and systematic study of Hollywood movies done to-date, media scholar Jack Shaheen examined 100 years of Hollywood film representations of Arabs and Muslims.

He found that the majority of the 900 films he examined portrayed Arabs and Muslims as “brutal, heartless, uncivilised religious fanatics and money-mad cultural ‘others’ bent on terrorising civilised westerners, especially Christians and Jews”.

No one could reasonably suggest that western news and entertainment media organisations should ignore negative portrayals of Muslims altogether. This would be unreasonable, especially given the importance of global terrorism and the involvement of Muslims in their fair share of negative events.

It is not unreasonable, however, to ask for contextualised accounts, fairer portrayals, critical examinations of the root causes of terrorism, an increase in Muslim voices, and news coverage that does more to separate ordinary Muslims from groups like al-Qaeda and ISIL.

According to the scholarly literature, the patterns of representation are fairly clear. Some fair, balanced news coverage and sympathetic entertainment media portrayals of Muslims notwithstanding, Islam and Muslims are generally portrayed negatively and stereotypically, including in some of the most powerful western media.

At what point do we begin to hold media organisations at least partly accountable for the anti-Muslim sentiment that is gripping many western nations?

Or, more importantly, when will western media organisations hold themselves to account?

Dr Mohamad Elmasry is an assistant professor in the Department of Communications at the University of North Alabama. 

End Poverty? Reduce Inequality? What Republicans Must Do First : Why does this sound so familiar here in Australia Mr Abbott?

Joe Conason

The latest fad among would-be Republican presidential contenders is to proclaim their deep commitment to fighting poverty and inequality—which sounds as plausible as a promise by McDonald’s to abolish greasy food.

Just stop.

1) Stop smooching the behind of every predatory billionaire who shows up with an open checkbook and a loud opinion, from the Koch brothers and Paul Singer to Jerry Jones and Sheldon Adelson. In Australia Rupert,Gina,IPA, AHA,

2) Stop pretending that the best way to reduce inequality—or poverty—is to lavish more trillions of tax breaks on those very same billionaires, as the infamously plutocratic Ryan budget would. Do they really think every blustering donor at the very top of the income scale needs another million dollars? Stop defending capital gains loopholes, offshore accounts and all the other scams that rig the game for the likes of Romney. In Australia capital gains, negative gearing super benefis corporate subsidies etc

3) Stop snatching bread from the mouths of small children and their mothers, with gratuitous cuts to the Supplemental Nutritional Assistance and WIC programs, as if that would appreciably reduce the federal deficit—or be worth the moral cost even if it did. The Ryan budget proposes to reduce food stamps by 20 percent or more, which would mean either terminating benefits for millions or reducing benefits below their already meager level. (It would be interesting to see how the Wisconsin Republican and bodybuilder got by on $1.40 per meal.) In Australia the broad range of cuts to and policing of welfare and pensions

4) Stop ripping up unemployment checks for families whose lack of remunerative work Republicans have blamed on Barack Obama. Unemployment insurance kept at least 2.5 million Americans, including hundreds of thousands of kids, above the poverty line in recent years. If joblessness truly isn’t the workers’ fault, why decimate them and their children? In Australia 700,000 unemployed, 160,000 jobs.

5) Stop rejecting Medicaid, the literal lifeline for poor Americans who have no other health coverage. And stop “repealing” the Affordable Care Act, whose actual repeal would cruelly end coverage for tens of millions of Americans—and in some cases, end their lives. In Australia attempting cuts to the health system and Medicare

6) Stop undermining Medicare and Social Security, the two most successful anti-poverty programs in the nation’s history, which have vastly reduced the impoverishment and early mortality of elderly Americans. And stop telling voters that the endless attempts to cut, privatize, block grant, and otherwise diminish those programs is how you intend to “save” them.  In Australia Privatise Health

7) Stop legislating cutbacks in Pell Grants, federal student loans, and other assistance to young people from modest backgrounds—whose educational advancement lifts them toward greater financial security and independence. Anyone who honestly cares about reducing inequality supports aid for higher education. In Australia $100,00 degrees

8) And please stop mouthing so much meaningless, self-flattering rhetoric on this vital issue—as Romney did when he assured the Republican National Committee that “Republican principles” will “break the cycle of poverty.” In Australia, LNP will support the indigenous and close 150 communities, support women and domestic violence by cutting services etc etc

Sorry, but that hasn’t been true under any Republican administration for the past hundred years. Instead of blustering, Republicans should consider the unpleasant but undeniable fact that unemployment and poverty have increased every time a president of their party occupied the White House.

Abbott and Hockey have simply stolen the Republican script

Then, by all means, they should get back us to with those “conservative” plans to end poverty. Someone might even believe it.

Scientific American Takes An In Depth Look At The Tea Party. This is applicable to the LNP, Tony Abbott, and all Murdoch elves such as Albrechtson,Bolt,Blair,Devine etc. See the connection here. Unfortunately Fox News is rated as the most believable news provider in the US by 25% yet it gets a rating of 8% in delivering truth. Murdoch’s influence of madness is widespread on issues of anti- climate change, anti- Islam,anti- multiculturalism, anti- corporate tax, anti- penalty rates, etc etc

sa

THE CABIN ANTHRAX, MURPHY, N.C. (CT&P) – This month’s edition of Scientific American is somewhat of a departure for a magazine that normally steers well clear of politics. It boasts several well-researched articles examining the right wing in general and the Tea Party in particular.

“We wanted to highlight how a group could overcome the serious handicaps of its individual members to become a viable political force in our society,” said SA editor Michael Moyer. “The rise of the Tea Party, the Christian Right, and their propaganda arm, Fox News, illustrates how a species crippled by superstition, racial hatred, and lower than average IQ’s can rise to a position of prominence in the modern nation state.”

teaparty1

The issue, which is on news stands now, traces the growth of the Tea Party from a ragtag army of inarticulate individuals all the way to this year’s midterm elections, when an alarming number of the insecure cretins won national political office.

“We tried to get inside the minds of these people, as frightening as that prospect was,” said Moyer. “We really wanted to find out what made these people tick. We placed particular emphasis on finding the common threads that unified this group of backwoods bumpkins.”

“What we found was fear. Fear of change, fear of the unknown, fear of minorities, fear of science, fear of gay people, fear of just about any fucking thing you could imagine. The overwhelming consensus was that this group of people yearns to return to the days before the Enlightenment, where their outdated ideas and archaic societal standards ruled with an iron fist.”

The SA team spent a great deal of time analyzing the movement’s leaders Sarah Palin, Michele Bachmann, and a host of other kooks such as Steve King and Louie Gomhert.

sarah-palin-1

“One only has to look at the leadership of this movement to see how incoherent and insane their beliefs really are,” said Moyer. “If you go back and examine some of the speeches and statements made by Bachmann and Palin over the last decade, it reads like something out of H.P. Lovecraft. Nothing makes sense. For example, last weekend in Iowa, Palin was apparently possessed by one of her demons and began writhing around the podium and speaking in tongues. It was truly scary.”

Although the writers and editors at SA came to no definitive conclusions about the future of the right wing and the Tea Party, Moyer said that they will most likely be swept away by the tide of history.

“To paraphrase Huxley, extinguished theologians, and in this case reactionary political factions, lie about the cradle of progress as the strangled snakes beside that of Hercules,” said Moyer.

Although many midterm Congressional races were won by Tea Party supported buffoons, the facts seem to support Moyer’s argument.

Gay marriage, Obamacare, and decriminalization of marijuana, three policies that the far right is rabidly against, are more popular than ever and gaining national acceptance.

“It gives us hope for a bright future in which the voices of these kooks are drowned out by the voices of reason and science,” concluded Moyers. “I am a fervent supporter of free speech and support these people’s right to be as ignorant as they want to be, but I fully believe that they will be remembered by history as the wingnuts they truly are.”

It’s hot! It’s Queensland! There’s an election! :The story so far… in 2012 an election happened in Queensland. Now another is happening. What’s different? This time, First Dog is there

firstdog

Florida Bill Makes Poverty A Felony: Scott Morrison rues the fact that he can’t do this here. Afterall those on Social Welfare don’t vote LNP

florida

As the 2014 gubernatorial race starts to heat up, a bill is working its way through the Florida legislature that would make it a felony offense to earn less than $25,000.00 per year. The bill will also place those with minority racial status on probation.

In 2011, Florida effectively disenfranchised 1.5 million citizens with a  new restrictive voting law. The law prohibits anyone ever convicted of a felony from voting in local, state or federal elections. Commenting on the situation, Governor Rick Scott stated “We really got on the right track in 2011, and this new bill should put us over the top.” When asked what he meant, Scott replied “Well, we certainly don’t want to risk uncertainty in the election process by allowing criminals to vote, and since most crime is committed by the poor and minorities, this new law just takes the next logical step. The bill will prevent undesirables from participating in the election process.”

One of the chief sponsors of the bill, Representative Billy Bob McSneed, a Republican from Panama City, stated “All these minorities, many of them illegal, are taking our jobs and threatening our way of life down here. By placing them on probation, we can better control ‘em and stop all the election fraud. Hell, it’s bad enough that we let ‘em drive.”

Election fraud in Florida has reached enormous proportions in Florida over the last decade, according to the Florida Republican Central Committee. McSneed supplied us with documents proving beyond a shadow of a doubt that there have been at least three dozen cases of individuals voting illegally in Florida over the last ten years.

“We live in state where 36 votes could tip the balance, McSneed said. The only logical thing to do is attack the root of the disease, not the symptoms, and the root of the disease is poor people, minorities, and poor minorities.”

When asked how many citizens of the state that this bill would disenfranchise, Governor Scott replied, “We have no idea, but the vast majority of them will be Democrats, and that’s all that matters.”

Challenges to the new bill’s constitutionality will no doubt be numerous. However, given the current glut of challenges in Florida’s courts challenging other demented laws passed by the legislature, any decision will be slow in coming and probably will occur post-election.

Reached for comment was Representative Barbara Hernandez, Democrat from Miami. She stated, “I am currently trying to decide whether to hang myself or move to a more open society. Maybe Cuba or North Korea.”

The Saudis are every bit as sickening as Islamic State: Yet Abbott has always praised them for their coalition support despite 87 beheadings in 2014 and 11 in Jan 2015. Abbott supports this Wahhabi/Salaphi death cult.

Ensaf Haidar (centre) the wife of Saudi blogger Raif Badawi, at a vigil in Montreal on January 13.

Ensaf Haidar (centre) the wife of Saudi blogger Raif Badawi, at a vigil in Montreal on January 13.

Washington: We’re all braced for another grotesque video clip from the fundamentalist nutters of the so-called Islamic State, because they’ve released a primer on the likely beheading of two Japanese hostages – unless Tokyo will hand over a $US200 million ransom in the coming days.

IS’s video production values are sickeningly creepy – the prisoners in orange jumpsuits; their would-be executioner in black, wielding a knife and spewing bile.

But in matters of jurisprudence, the Saudis are every bit as sickening as IS. They share the same Saudi-sponsored, ultra-conservative strain of Sunni Islam. And they think alike on crime and punishment – they both want to kill, kill, kill.

A protest by Amnesty International in support of Raif Badawi in front of the Saudi Embassy in The Hague on January 15.A protest by Amnesty International in support of Raif Badawi in front of the Saudi Embassy in The Hague on January 15. Photo: AFP

Homosexuals? Kill them! Adulterers? If they’re married, stone them to death; if they are unmarried, a lashing will do. A thief? Chop off a hand or a foot.

But best of all, both the Saudis and IS get off on a good beheading. According to Human Rights Watch, there were 87 beheadings in Saudi Arabia last year – and they’re off to a great start this year, with 11 beheadings already and still two Fridays left in January.

Those silly Saudis think they can kid us into believing that they are not like that, but in recent weeks we have had a wondrous display of Riyadh’s hypocrisy.

They dispatched Minister of State for Foreign Affairs Nizar Madani to Paris for the leaders-linking-arms rally in the wake of the Charlie Hebdo massacre – which was as much for freedom of speech as it was against terrorism. But back in Saudi Arabia, they were calling for crowds to assemble for the first in a series of 20 lashings for 31-year-old Raif Badawi, whose crime was to express himself freely.

Badawi is, or was, a blogger before they shut him down in 2012, because of his criticism and questioning of the religious establishment – for which his punishment was fixed at 1000 lashes, 10 years in jail and a fine of more than $US260,000.

Gruesome punishment: Raif Badawi at home in Saudi Arabia in 2012.Gruesome punishment: Raif Badawi at home in Saudi Arabia in 2012. Photo: AFP

In many ways Badawi is quite conservative. Urging a separation between church and state is not exactly radical; he rebuked the Muslims who lobbied for the right to open a mosque near New York’s Ground Zero.

And never mind the ballyhoo in the post-Charlie Hebdo world, with constant demands for Muslims to seriously debate the use and abuse of their religion. That’s precisely what  Badawi was doing – and look where it got him.

On January 9, the slight-framed  Badawi was hauled from a bus in a square outside a mosque as Friday prayers ended in the port city of Jeddah – and dealt the first 50 of his 1000 lashes, by a uniformed man brandishing a wooden cane.

The Saudis would have us believe that this punishment is administered caringly – the caner is required to move up and down the victim’s back and to take care not to break the skin. But come last Friday, when Badawi was to get another 50 of the best, a doctor declared that his “wounds [from the previous week] had not yet healed properly and that he would not be able to withstand another round of lashes at this time”.

That was too much for Said Boumedouha, Amnesty International‘s deputy director for the Middle East and North Africa. He retorted: “The notion that Raif Badawi must be allowed to heal so that he can suffer this cruel punishment again and again, is macabre and outrageous.”

When IS throws accused homosexuals to their death from the top of a tall building, it tweets pictures and uploads video to social media. But not those Saudi killjoys – when a policeman last week videoed the mediaeval beheading of a female migrant worker in the holy city of Mecca and exercised his freedom of expression by uploading the clip on YouTube, he was arrested and has apparently disappeared into the maw of the Saudi security system, reportedly to face unspecified charges in two courts – one military, the other religious.

IS would have given him a medal. The Burmese woman, named as Laila bint Abdul Muttalib Basim in one report, was dragged through the streets and held down by four policemen, while it took three blows from the executioner’s sword to sever her head – and as he hacked away, she used her last breath to scream: “I didn’t kill. I didn’t kill.”

How strange it is, then, that we’re at war with IS, but the Saudis are our allies. We don’t hear Barack Obama or John Kerry threatening to bomb the Saudis or even rebuking them. That’s left to an eminently forgettable spokesperson at the State Department who utters a few words of criticism – you know the drill, always enough to say the US has been critical; but never enough for the Saudis to be seriously offended.

And where is the crusading Tony Abbott when he’s needed? There’s a man who will go halfway around the world to bray at IS as a death cult, as he did in Baghdad recently. But just a stone’s throw to the south of the Iraqi capital is Riyadh – Beheading Central – and Abbott has nothing to say about the royals whose robes never get bloodied despite all the killing, because they’ve contracted all that nasty stuff out to the Wahhabi clerics – of whom they live in fear.

Jeb Bush Announces Plans To Tour America On ‘Short Bus Express’: If Abbott was American he’d be a Republican front runner before destroying that party as well. The Democrats are trying to recruit him for the job and allow him to have triple nationality

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THE CABIN ANTHRAX, MURPHY, N.C. (CT&P) – Sources within the Bush Campaign have informed several media outlets that the former governor of Florida and presidential candidate will be touring the United States in what pundits have dubbed “The Short Bus Express.” Although official tour dates have not yet been set, an aide to the former governor told reporters at the Tallahassee Cretin Gazette that a bus had already been purchased and was in the process of being repainted and prepared for travel.

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“The Governor feels that he needs to connect face to face with the citizens of this great country so he can deliver his message to Americans in a personal way,” said an aide in an interview with the Gazette. “We plan on traveling from state to state like a troop of reactionary right-wing gypsies spreading the ‘good news’ of the Republican vision for America.”

All of the archaic and antiquated policies of the standard Republican platform will be stressed, according to the aide.

“Tax breaks for the 1%, white male domination in all areas of society, denial of a woman’s right to choose under any circumstances, ignoring climate change and dangerous environmental pollutants, special compensation for giant corporations, making gay marriage illegal once and for all, suppression of minority civil rights, and destruction of our national parks through mining and oil exploration are just a few of the policies that Mr. Bush will be touting,” said the aide.

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“Mr. Bush is solidly behind the Republican agenda of returning America to a pre-Enlightenment society. We firmly believe that if we can just return to a medieval culture and economic system where aristocrats and the church have total control over everyone’s lives, we’ll be much better off.”

Although the bus that the campaign has purchased is rather small, there will room for three Fox News pundits and Mr. Bush’s NRA minder to travel along with the candidate.

One of the most important functions of the Fox News personnel will be to convince poor and weak minded white Americans to vote against their economic interests by playing on racial prejudice and religious beliefs leftover from the Middle Ages.

The NRA operative will be at Jeb’s side 24/7 to insure firearms manufacturers are represented and to make sure Mr. Bush supports the right of every American to be killed by an accidental gunshot wound.

Although this will be the first time Mr. Bush has sought national office, it is by no means the first time he has used a short bus for transportation, and he looks forward to the trip with great glee.

“I just can’t wait to get out there and take the pulse of the American people so I can go to Washington and completely ignore it,” said an excited Mr. Bush. “I really want to do for the whole country what I did for the great state of Florida!”

God help us all.

Will we still love Medicare in 2165?: First Dog on the Moon

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It’s 150 years in the future and this is your Undersea Medispace Hyperclinic

Life imitating art: Tony Abbott who is backed by conglomerates such as the Rinehart empire and the Murdoch empire thrusting 24 hour fascist ideology and terror-invoking commentary on the Australian people.

A scene from 'Children of Men' ( image taken from evilgeeks.com)

The scenes of social collapse in movies of a decade ago are now everyday scenes in allegedly democratic countries, writes Melissa Frost in this letter to The AIMN.

I watched the movie “Children of Men” again the other night and walked away with a renewed feeling of dread. A sinking feeling of doom came over me. Right in my chest. Had I just witnessed a glimpse of the future? Our future. Our future here on Earth. Was this how it ends? Are we imploding as a species? “No, no, no”, I said to myself. It can’t be, as I slipped onto the comfort of my massive mattress pulling the crisp European duvet over my head. But as I restlessly tossed around in bed that night I started to analyse what is happening here in Australia.

There are a lot of similarities between the movie and the ideology of our present government in Australia. We have a government that is anti-immigration, totalitarian and fascist. Refugees coming to our shores are classified as illegal immigrants, hunted down by our border patrols, made to sit on navy decks in neat little rows of confinement and then transferred to prisons where they spend an eternity of misery. These scenes we view hourly on the 24hour news channels we also see in the movie. A universal battleground of military control, security zones, refugee camps and warring tribal and religious identities.

The world of “Children of Men” is in absolute turmoil and anguish. The media are filled with headlines about religious fundamentalism – based terrorist attacks, mosques being put under surveillance, allegations of tortures of journalists, backlash against refugees and immigrants and political powerplays enveloped in pollution and poverty. The scenes of the two hour movie are a world of social collapse and desperation redolent of the hourly scenes on our screens of Iraq, Syria, Gaza or closer to home the 105,000 homeless of Australia. Which brings me to the story of the residents of a luxury apartment block in the UK installing spikes outside “their” reception area to deter a somewhat sheltered slumber for the homeless of Southward, South London. Mark Hicks, a resident of the building, said it was a “very good idea” as he was seeing “drunk homeless people” in his doorway which is “not very nice at all and if it stops that, its great”.

Where has our humanity gone? Are we so desensitised to these hourly visions that our subconsciousness is now immune? Yes, yes I think we are. “Children of Men” is based in the UK and it is interesting that the film makers decided on the UK. The UK is one of the oldest democracies in the world. Democracy means a government by the people. That is all the people have a say in the running of their lives. So for Brits to witness their government developing fascist ideologies and terror-invoking methods is tyrannical and oppressive.

And this is exactly what is happening in Australia. We are witnessing a government led by Tony Abbott who is backed by conglomerates such as the Rinehart empire and the Murdoch empire thrusting 24 hour fascist ideology and terror-invoking commentary on the Australian people. Its time for Australians to read the signs and demand Democracy.

When did we take the public service out of politics?

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Recent discussions have caused me to think about what I consider to be the job of an elected Member of Parliament.

I should preface my remarks by saying I have never been a member of a political party. I was a union member when a government employee.  Perhaps those things are relevant, perhaps not.

 Wikipedia describes politics as the practice and theory of influencing other people, hierarchical control over a human community, the distribution of power and resources within a given community.

It goes on to describe the variety of methods employed in politics, which include promoting one’s own political views among people, negotiation with other political subjects, making laws, and exercising force, including warfare against adversaries.

Perhaps that is the real definition of politics – influence, control and power.

Googling “politician job description” led me to a job site which talked about why you might choose politics as a career.

Many high-ranking politicians also find lucrative consultancy roles once they’ve left the world of politics.

Plenty of perks in this job; good pay, varied days, plenty of career prospects and a long summer break.

Many politicians have been actively involved from a young age so it’s never too early to start.

Routes into politics include:

Working as a political researcher

Working as a politician’s assistant

Working as a trade union activist

Politicians are an eclectic bunch and this career attracts folk from every walk of life. However, to survive the choppy waters of politics you’ll need:

Bags of determination

Plenty of self-belief

A passion for current affairs (if you don’t watch the news this isn’t the career for you)

The ability to stay calm under pressure

Top-notch communication skills

and you’ll also need to be a confident public speaker so there’s no time to be a wallflower.

By this time I was getting a rather sour taste in my mouth for “politics” and decided to move on to Parliament.

On a government page called “About the House of Representatives” it said:

Each Member represents an electoral division.

I think that is important.  Every person sitting in that chamber was elected by the people whose area they represent presumably because of the belief that they can best represent their interests.  Whether they be local, national, or global interests, the majority of the electorate chose that person to represent their vote.

The House’s central function and the one which takes up most of its time is the consideration and passing of new laws and amendments or changes to existing laws. Any Member can introduce a proposed law (bill).

Any member, of either house, may introduce a bill. I know that to get anything passed it has to be passed by a majority in both houses but members are elected to represent their constituents, not their parties, and they should always vote in their electorate’s best interests.  Sharman Stone’s vociferous support for SPC Ardmona was an admirable example of someone fighting for her constituents rather than parroting the party line.  Every vote should be a conscience vote rather than a direction of how to vote from a factional leader.

Represents the people—Members may present petitions from citizens and raise citizens’ concerns and grievances in debate. Members also raise issues of concern with Ministers and government departments.

Watching Question Time gives a very poor representation of what Parliament is about but a very good one of what politics is all about.  Sharman Stone dismissively described it on Q&A as “a stage for the men to perform their theatrics”.  Committees are much more interesting and you even sometimes find things out there as opposed to someone trying to make the nightly news with a one-liner.  Televising them rather than QT would be a much better way of informing the public of both sides of a debate.

My personal view is that every elected Member of Parliament should spend their term in office listening, learning, questioning, and then, on the basis of the expert advice available to them, proposing solutions to the problems facing our nation and voting to steer us in the right direction.

But unfortunately, our Members of Parliament see themselves as politicians rather than public servants and are more concerned with their career path than the path of our country.  It’s all about the next election.

We're all in this together.

GOP Presidential Candidate Dr. Ben Carson Declared Legally Insane. Joe Hockey Australian Treasurer has had the same diagnosis and wants to serve out his time in McClean as well. He believes he can learn somethings there as he will be running the country until he’s 150.

Image: 41st Annual Conservative Political Action Conference (CPAC)

THE CABIN ANTHRAX, MURPHY, N.C. (CT&P) – Republican presidential candidate and well-known kook Dr. Ben Carson was declared legally insane this morning by a judge in Michigan, Carson’s home state. The judge relied on evidence given by physicians from Johns Hopkins Hospital and testimony from individuals close to the Carson campaign.

Carson’s speech to the RNC’s winter meeting outside San Diego last Thursday seems to have been the tipping point that forced aides, Republican operatives, and loved ones to take action.

In the speech, Carson compared ISIS militants to American patriots who took up arms against the British during the Revolutionary War.

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“A bunch of rag-tag militiamen defeated the most powerful and professional military force on the planet,” said the unhinged neurosurgeon. “Why? Because they believed in what they were doing. They were willing to die for what they believed in. Fast forward to today. What do we have? You’ve got ISIS. They’ve got the wrong philosophy, but they’re willing to die for it while we are busily giving away every belief and every value for the sake of political correctness. We have to change that.”

Later in the speech, Carson compared Nazi SS troops to the Salvation Army and the Shining Path guerrillas to civil rights protestors in the 1960’s. Carson went on to compare Adolph Hitler to Abraham Lincoln and Pol Pot to John F. Kennedy. “You really have to admire these people for their willingness to do whatever it takes to achieve the objective,” said a sweating, trembling Dr. Carson.

“This is just one in a long series of weird, disjointed ideas emerging from Dr. Carson’s damaged brain,” said Dr. Frank Black of the Banzai Institute in Holland Township, New Jersey. “We’re really not sure if his mental condition is due to environmental pollutants or a series of mild strokes. We think that the damage has been done over the last decade or so, because it would be almost impossible for someone this wacked-out to make it through medical school.”

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Dr. Carson continues to insist ad nauseam that he is “completely rational and perfectly sane.” He has appeared to protest his abuse by the “liberal media” on several Fox News programs such as the O’Reilly Factor, a right-wing apologist show that is a favorite in whites-only nursing homes across the United States.

“Well of course the dude is going claim he’s sane and everything is a liberal conspiracy,” said Dr. Black. “When was the last time you heard a psychopath tell you he was nuts and danger to society? I mean, this guy thinks the earth is 6000 years old, Noah put dinosaurs on the Ark, and America is the modern incarnation of Nazi Germany. He’s a fucking freak!”

Dr. Carson will be placed in McClean Mental Hospital in Boston for a minimum of one month while he undergoes further testing and observation. The staff there has already arranged for a series of town hall-style debates between him and Secretary of State John Kerry, who was admitted only last week. The debates will no doubt be wildly entertaining, considering the fact that one guy is a goofball and the other a raving lunatic. The debates will be moderated by Vice President Joe Biden, who is the only person on the planet fully qualified to understand the two men.

An aide to Dr. Carson told the Washington Post that the decision to place the Tea Party favorite in a mental hospital would in no way affect his candidacy for the presidency. “Since when has being legally insane been a problem for GOP candidates? We have just as good a chance at the nomination as any of those other wing nuts.”

Tony – In His Own Words Or I Never Realised How Many Things I Agree With!

Image from Facebook.com

  • January 15, 2015
  • Written by:
  • This morning I started looking for a quote from Tony Abbott for this piece. Surprisingly, I came across many, many statements from him with which I wholeheartedly agree.For example, “The great thing about the Coalition is you know exactly what you will get from the Coalition.”

    Yep, he was pretty right on that one. I pretty much did know exactly what we’d get from the Coaltion…

    And then I read the following:

    “Let me just say of this government that it’s broken promises; that’s bad.”

    “It’s the government that is faking things, fudging things and ultimately trying to deceive people.

    “It’s my job between now and polling day to remind the Australian people just what a hopeless, unreliable, untrustworthy, dishonest, deceptive Government this has been. It just doesn’t get democracy.”

    “A fake. An absolute fake, from start to finish.”

    Unfortunately when I checked the dates, they were all made before the election and I realised that he wasn’t talking about his own government.

    But I did find one interesting one made after the election.

    TONY ABBOTT: “I think Christopher said ‘schools’ – plural – will get the same amount of money. The quantum will be the same.”

    ANDREW BOLT: “I hear that. ‘Schools’, plural. People just saw the grab. They heard ‘school’, your ‘school’, singular, and I don’t understand why that promise was made. I would go a billion dollars into debt just to keep your promise. I don’t know why you don’t commit to it.”

    TONY ABBOTT: “But Andrew, we are going to keep our promise. We are going to keep the promise that we actually made, not the promise that some people thought that we made or the promise that some people might have liked us to make. We’re going to keep the promise that we actually made.”

    Which sounds fine, excerpt the promise to which he was referring was this:

    Christopher Pyne: “You can vote Liberal or Labor and you will get exactly the same amount of funding for your school.” 2 August 2013

    So that infamous “We are going to keep the promise that we actually made, not the promise that some people thought that we made or the promise that some people might have liked us to make,” should have actually read, “We’re keeping the promise I thought we made not the one we actually made.”

    Which some pedantic people are sure to argue is the same thing as not keeping a promise at all, but, as Abe Lincoln said, you can’t please all of the people all of the time… Or was that “fool”?

    Whatever, after Labor’s “back-flip” on the $20 Medicare cut, Mr Abbott cut short his holiday to do an interview. (By the way, Labor has apparently changed its mind because Shorten said that he’d “consider” the change… I can see how this can be considered a back-flip by the Liberals because when they say they’ll consider something – or pay one of their mates to hold an inquiry into the best course of action – they’ve already made up their mind!) And what started my search was this little snippet from Mr Abbott:

    He called on his critics to provide their own budget savings if they continued to reject the government’s attempts to restore the budget to surplus and pay down the debt.

    “We are serious about economic reform, we are serious about budget responsibility – is the Senate? That is the question; are they serious about economic reform and budget responsibility and if they don’t like what this governments doing tell us what their alternative is,” he said.

    Now, I could be wrong, but I seem to remember that when he was Leader of the Opposition that he said something about Oppositions:

    Oppositions are not there to get legislation through. Oppositions are there to hold the government to account. And unless we are confident that a piece of legislation is beyond reasonable doubt in the national interest, it is our duty as the Opposition to vote it down.

    I also seem to remember that he said that it wasn’t his job as Opposition Leader to come up with ideas for the Government, but I can’t find any actual quote. As soon as you put in anything for a Google search for an Abbott quote, all you get is stuff about climate change being crap, or a paid parental leave scheme being introduced over his dead body, or a bad boss being like a bad father, or virginity, or “the phrase WorkChoices being dead and buried”, so it’s been a long, depressing search.

    Although I did find quite a few about not being afraid of a Double Dissolution, and, if the Senate held up necessary legislation, then they’d go to the people straight away. But maybe that was another one where we only thought we heard something, when what he really said was: “I’m going to cling onto being Prime Minister as long as I can because there’s no way that I’d survive an election campaign as Leader”

Secretary Of State John Kerry To Take Leave Of Absence

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WASHINGTON, D.C. (CT&P) – At a press conference early this morning White House Press Secretary Josh Earnest announced that John Kerry will be taking time off his duties as secretary of state so that he can be given a thorough psychological examination at McClean Hospital in Boston. After the examination Mr. Kerry will be closely observed by a team of mental health professionals for an undetermined period in order to ascertain just how unhinged the former senator from Massachusetts has become.

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The action by the White House comes on the heels of Mr. Kerry’s visit to Paris where he attempted to make up for the lack of representation from the United States at the “free speech solidarity march” attended by millions in the streets of Paris last Sunday. Mr. Kerry was accompanied by singer/songwriter James Taylor, who sang “You’ve Got a Friend” to puzzled and confused French government officials and prominent citizens.

In a muddled and seemingly unending statement made before the trip, Mr. Kerry had told reporters in the United States that he wanted to give the French people a “big hug.”

The trip and mini-concert by Taylor has been criticized and mocked by almost every media outlet in the free world, and has given new fodder for the right-wing and the kooks over at Fox News to use against President Obama in their ongoing campaign to turn him into some sort of Antichrist.

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“The President would just like to make it clear that this whole James Taylor thing was Secretary Kerry’s doing,” said Earnest. “We had nothing to do with it. We have no clue what, if anything, was going on inside Mr. Kerry’s small mind when he decided to drag that dude out of whatever basement he was mouldering in. I never thought the guy was that good when he was in his prime, much less now.”

“As soon as Mr. Kerry is deemed to longer be a threat to himself or those around him he will be allowed to return to his duties,” continued Earnest. “We don’t want to have to go through the process of selecting a new secretary of state this late in the term. The folks over at McClean will give him top notch care and as many meds as he needs. Besides, no one is going to miss him for a few weeks anyway.”

Cretonia’s Finest On ‘High Alert’ In Wake Of Paris Attacks

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TALLAHASSEE, CRETONIA (CT&P) – In response to last week’s Paris attacks, Florida governor and ancient Aztec snake god Rick Scott ordered all of Florida’s gazillion law enforcement personnel to assume a “heightened state of readiness” today in a bid to keep the state free of foreign terrorists. In addition, Scott ordered elite units to be prepared and ready to assist police and sheriff’s departments around the state should the threat of Islamic terror rear its ugly toweled head in the Sunshine State.

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SWAT teams, the Florida Highway Patrol, drug enforcement units, and “grouper troopers” now stand ready to cooperate with the FBI, ATF, DEA, and even the IRS should any of Cretonia’s treasures such as Disney World, Busch Gardens, or the Snake-A-Torium in Panama City Beach be threatened.

Scott even scraped the bottom of the barrel of law enforcement by diverting 50% of the state’s 2.6 million probation officers from their regular duties to help in the effort.

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Instead of shuffling papers around, infiltrating AA meetings, and watching past offenders urinate, the po’s will be driving around aimlessly looking for suspicious behavior, which is a full-time job in a state literally brimming with meth-crazed rednecks, white supremacists, trigger happy open carry nut jobs, and drunken teenagers from every state in the union.

“We are using all the manpower we can muster to keep those dirty Muslims out of our pristine state,” said Scott.

Of particular concern to the serpent-headed chief executive is the dystopian hellscape known as the Florida panhandle, a place where some of the dumbest primates ever to roam the earth call home.

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“As you all know, the panhandle acts as a powerful magnet for anyone on earth who has an “L” stamped on his or her forehead,” said the governor, as his scales began to glow and pulsate. “It has the highest rate of idiocy per capita that has ever been measured by researchers. With that in mind, I have personally contacted the sheriffs of all the panhandle counties and emphatically expressed our concerns, and although I had to repeat myself several times and use simple terms a third-grader could understand, I think they got the message.”

In Bay County, Sheriff R.W. Scrotum told WJHG Newschannel 7 in Panama City that “We’ve done prepared for any contingency that might happen out thar. Billy Bob has greased the treads of the tank and I ordered the mechanics to change the oil in our armored personnel carrier and get it ready to roll. We got the “General Lee” (Bay County’s drone) up flyin’ around 24/7 lookin’ for camels, women wearin’ burkas, or any males with towels wrapped around their heads. We’re ready!”

An aide to Governor Scott told reporters on the capital steps that authorities have assured the governor’s office that law enforcement, with the help of FEMA, is ready to handle any unmitigated horror that might befall the state, be it a hurricane, tidal wave, terrorist attack, or even Governor Scott’s reelection to office.

Rage against the Black and White!

Armed police at Reims (photo by Francois Nascimbeni - taken from abc.net.au)

The shootings at Charlie Hebdo, the French newspaper, have shocked us all. But let us be united by it, writes Paul Dellit.

Charlie Hebdo stands for the essence of democratic society based upon pluralism.

Salman Rushdie has issued the following statement:

“Religion, a mediaeval form of unreason, when combined with modern weaponry becomes a real threat to our freedoms. This religious totalitarianism has caused a deadly mutation in the heart of Islam and we see the tragic consequences in Paris today. I stand with Charlie Hebdo, as we all must, to defend the art of satire, which has always been a force for liberty and against tyranny, dishonesty and stupidity. ‘Respect for religion’ has become a code phrase meaning ‘fear of religion.’ Religions, like all other ideas, deserve criticism, satire, and, yes, our fearless disrespect”.

Of course, this attack by fundamentalists has a strategic purpose. Their objective is to provoke us into abandoning our values in favour of adopting theirs: the absolutism of believing that I am the bearer of immutable truth and anyone who does not share my belief is my enemy. And as one of the enrolled, I am entitled, if not obliged, to remove any obstacle to my belief becoming predominant in the world. I am entitled to kill anyone and destroy anything if it assists my mission. There are no grey areas for discussion. There is no point in debate when you possess the absolute truth. The world is divided into two camps: those who believe as I do and those who do not; those whom I would uplift and those whom I would remove from the face of the earth. The distinctions I make are as clear as the ultimate extremes of black and white.

Christianity has abandoned the overt pursuit of its violently barbaric Inquisition, long since Christianity was uniquely the Roman Catholic Church, heir to the Holy Roman Empire. But it is only in relatively recent times that the traditional Christian Churches have backed off their dogmatic tone in Sunday sermons and in public statements. Vatican II did not presage this change in public attitude. Vatican II failed, ultimately because men of the stripe of George Pell saw it as the creeping democratisation of the power structure which gave them their own autocratic power and status. And they could tell themselves that their mission was virtuous for, was it not true that they held office within the organisation chosen by the one true God to be the standard-bearer of His absolute truth.

Closer to home, it is unsurprising that the mediocre intellects which dominate the Front Bench of our current Government are committed to Hayekian dogma. The majority of them are still devotees of the particular flavour of Christian dogma in which they were schooled. They like dogma. It gives them that warm fuzzy feeling of being tucked up inside their middle class residences and looking out at those who aren’t. In essence, it satisfies two basic human cravings: certainty about the world they live in which, incidentally, places them in the box seat; and relief from those unpleasant intimations of mortality. Their pursuit of personal wealth at the expense of others is sanctioned by their secular dogma and their Christian dogma promises them life eternal.

The delusions of these men and one woman would be laughable in any other circumstances than that it is their hands gripping the levers of power for one whole term of government. Like all good Hayekians, their limited view of life and total lack of any broader philosophy leaves them with the view that economic utility equals happiness, that the accretion of money is the single purpose of life, that we are nothing more than utilitarian foragers pitted against our fellows for whom the notion of compassion is anathema. They are men and one woman who lack the broad range of sensibilities and sensitivities which mark out all that is fine and estimable in our humanity. How else could they have Abbott as the Minister for Women, Morrison as the Minister for Social Services, and Brandis as Minister for the Arts.

It may be that Charlie Hebdo provides a particularly French character to the art of satire. It pushes the three founding principles of the French Revolution to the limits of Liberté, Égalité, Fraternité. It is an equal-opportunity satirist with caricatures of every religion, commercial institution, government party and organisation – a true iconoclast with its origins in the 1960s which, unlike Honi Soit (extant) and Oz (deceased), has been able to maintain the rage long after the flowers wilted and the Beatles left the rooftop.

This is a truly sad day, but with the saving grace that it provides the opportunity for all countries and people of good will to unite in their steadfast maintenance of their belief and practice of pluralism.

Filed under:

Constipated Prophet Orders Attack On Newspaper By Mistake

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PARIS (CT&P) – The attack earlier today on the satirical newspaper Charlie Hebdo that killed 12 people was apparently the last in a series of foul ups and snafus committed by the Prophet Muhammad during his yearly vacation in Paris this week.

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According to the bloodthirsty demigod’s press secretary Abdul-Aziz Cornhollah Habib Lulu Maalik Skyhook, which loosely translated means “The One Who Does Not Bathe,” the attack was supposed to target Le Lonesome Camel, a restaurant just down the street from the newspaper.

It seems the Prophet became extremely agitated when, while dining at the restaurant last night, the staff mistakenly served him a meat pie which was loaded with processed pork products. According to Skyhook, the tourtière in question was supposed to be “pork and gluten-free” in order to adhere to the strict dietary guidelines published in the Prophet’s latest cookbook, How to Feed a Cave Full of Subhuman Terrorists on $10.00 a Day, first published in 2002.

However, the owner of the restaurant, retired Formula One driver Alain Prost, told reporters that the Islamic killing machine had “only himself to blame” for his irritable bowels because the Prophet insisted on ordering in French, like so many other idiot foreigners who vacation in Paris.

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“At first the dimwit ordered a goat with a football stuffed up its ass,” said Prost. “He had to try five times before he actually ordered something on the menu. His server tried to warn him that the tourtière had pork in it, but the pompous ass would not listen. I’m surprised he’s able to speak any French at all. After all, the only language other Arabic that he hears are the screams coming from his follower’s victims.”

The Prophet became even more agitated when he went outside to discover that his dinner party’s camels had all been ticketed for parking in a loading zone. Apparently he ordered the attack later that night.

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Chief Inspector Jacques Clouseau, who has been assigned the task of bringing the filthy subhuman Islamic slime to justice, told reporters at L’Express that what happened was that the geographically challenged religious fanatic gave his henchmen the wrong address.

“You would think that the terrorists would have realized that they were not attacking the restaurant they had just dined in only hours earlier, but you have to remember that we’re dealing with a bunch of savages that want to return the world to the 9th Century. I’m amazed they were even able to operate the nav system on the Hertz rental car they used.”

Although most politicians and religious leaders around the world are denouncing the attack, some apologists for Islam are defending the actions of the blessed, sacred, but not-so-intelligent Prophet.

Reza Aslan, author of Zealot: The Life and Times of Jesus of Nazareth and No god but god: The Origins, Evolution, and Future of Islam, told the New York Times that these types of attacks are to be expected when one dares to insult a Muslim by accidentally serving him the wrong entrée.

“I can understand the Prophet’s actions. I once considered sawing off the heads of everyone in a Shoney’s Big Boy after smelling bacon on the breakfast bar while I was trying to enjoy my sheep testicle soufflé. Ignorant infidels in the west need to be considerate of Islamic tradition, no matter how asinine and Neolithic it may be.”

The offices of the Cretonia Times-Picayune are located on Savannah Road in Murphy, North Carolina. The editor in chief and sole proprietor of the wildly successful online newspaper, Jerry Dickerson, cordially invites anyone not happy with the views and opinions expressed in this article to jump on the nearest camel and “come try that shit up here.”

Battle of the billionaires: Why liberals shouldn’t count on their rich patrons to win. Democratic Party politics is definitely not what the Murdochs, the Kochs, the Adelsons and the Foster Friesses are all about. They are attempting to dominate the political process by using their money to directly influence the ideological and political makeup of our society. From Fox News to think tanks to super PACs to political campaigns they are using their fortunes to actively change American politics.

Battle of the billionaires: Why liberals shouldn't count on their rich patrons to win

 

Battle of the billionaires: Why liberals shouldn’t count on their rich patrons to win – Salon.com.

Poll Finds Four Out Of Five Imbeciles Believe Obama Has ‘Destroyed America’ . Fox News the balanced opinion poll of Rupert Murdoch and his viewers.

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THE CABIN ANTHRAX, MURPHY, N.C. (CT&P) – A shocking new Fox News poll has revealed that approximately 80% of imbeciles living in the continental United States think that President Obama has destroyed America. The poll was taken on December 30th. Participants were randomly chosen from imbeciles currently listed on the National Idiot’s Register in Washington, D.C.

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The poll consisted of two simple statements that imbeciles were required to complete. The statements were followed by a comment section where each imbecile was given the opportunity to voice his or her views on the subject.

Participants were first given the opportunity to complete the following sentence:

President Obama has

A. not destroyed the country.

B. somewhat destroyed the country.

C. really, really destroyed the country.

D. completely and utterly destroyed the country.

Those imbeciles that answered “B,” “C,” or “D” were then asked to complete this sentence:

President Obama has destroyed the country because

A. he is black.

B. of Obamacare.

C. of Benghazi

D. he is a member of the worldwide communist conspiracy to sap and impurify our precious bodily fluids.

E. All of the above

Fox researchers found that over 80% of imbeciles polled thought that Mr. Obama had in some way ‘destroyed the country,’ with over 90% of those imbeciles answering “E” to the second question.

Paradoxically, the researchers also discovered that although imbeciles thought that the country had been destroyed, they continued to insist that it was the greatest country on earth and was humanity’s last, best hope for the future.

Monty Python

Perhaps the most revealing part of the poll was the comments section, which illustrated just ignorant imbeciles in this country are.

Billy Bob McSneed, an imbecile from Running Sore, Arkansas said: “That negra wants to give poor people medical care and let a bunch of infected foreign kids into the United States. He’s a disgrace, and it’s only a matter of time before he lets the United Nations come and get all our guns!”

Jean “Genius” Mims, an imbecile from Melanoma Beach, Florida said: “I may not be able to read, but I darn shore know destruction when I seen it, and let me tell you, this country had been destructed!”

Billy Frank McDim of Rabid Beaver, Minnesota said: “That man is downright insane. He’s bent on destroying all of us with his gay marriage and enlightened foreign policy. The next thing you know it’ll be legal to marry your goat! Everybody knows that big business and Jesus are our only hope. I just thank God every day for smart people like Michele Bachmann and Sarah Palin!”

One of the few imbeciles that thought that President Obama had not destroyed the country was Tampaxia Reynolds from Mobile, Alabama who said: “I really have not noticed that the United States has been destroyed, but maybe that’s because I don’t watch Fox News. I really don’t know.”

Kochh Brothers Exposed: Murdoch’s heros and his model of influence

 

http://youtu.be/EAy3ogDMCIU

The Kochs are longtime libertarians who believe in drastically lower personal and corporate taxes, minimal social services for the needy, and much less oversight of industry—especially environmental regulation. These views dovetail with the brothers’ corporate interests. In a study released this spring, the University of Massachusetts at Amherst’s Political Economy Research Institute named Koch Industries one of the top ten air polluters in the United States. And Greenpeace issued a report identifying the company as a “kingpin of climate science denial.” The report showed that, from 2005 to 2008, the Kochs vastly outdid ExxonMobil in giving money to organizations fighting legislation related to climate change, underwriting a huge network of foundations, think tanks, and political front groups. Indeed, the brothers have funded opposition campaigns against so many Obama Administration policies—from health-care reform to the economic-stimulus program—that, in political circles, their ideological network is known as the Kochtopus. – See more at: http://www.thomhartmann.com/forum/2010/08/how-can-we-boycott-murdoch-koch-brothers-businessesthey-support-tea-party-fox#sthash.zXI7CaDr.dpuf

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A Christmas Miracle

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BLUE MOUNTAIN BEACH, CRETONIA (CT&P) – In what many are calling a Christmas miracle, Charlton Heston appeared out of nowhere this morning on the beaches of northwest Florida. Heston was on horseback and was accompanied by a scantily clad mute female who many believe was Mary Magdalene or possibly even the Virgin Mary.

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For hours Heston galloped up and down the beaches berating the native population for re-electing the ancient Aztec snake god Rick Scott as their governor.

“Damn you! God damn you all to hell!” screamed Heston.

For many decades Heston has been an icon of the right and a huge supporter of the NRA. However, Heston’s support of marriage equality and his objections to oppressive new voter ID laws has recently put him at odds with the GOP leadership in Florida. Heston pumped a great deal of cash and effort into Charlie Crist’s campaign and was apparently frustrated that the citizens of Florida have once again chosen a “false idol” to worship for four more years.

CHARLTON-HESTON-PLANET-OF-THE-APES

“You idiots,” yelled Heston, “what is it about snake gods and golden calves that turns you people on so much?”

Heston then jumped off his horse and made a huge display of tearing up his Florida voter ID card and throwing it on the sands of “World’s Most Beautiful Beaches.”

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“The Lord Our God will kick your ass for this travesty!” said Heston. He then turned, parted the Gulf of Mexico, jumped back on his horse and rode off.

Most pundits believe that Heston’s temper tantrum will have little effect on Florida politics, and the state will remain a “Forbidden Zone” for many years to come. Political pundit Barry Edwards told Wolf Blitzer on CNN that “This whole region is like a vast wasteland of intelligence. It’s gonna take one hell of a lot more than a Christmas miracle to fix this God-forsaken state. We might as well lift off and nuke the entire site from orbit-it’s the only way to be sure.”

Australian politics: the year that was 2014

<i>Illustration: michaelmucci.com</i>

The end-of-year reflections by Prime Minister Tony Abbott and Treasurer Joe Hockey were a reminder of the federal government’s surprisingly poor year. The measure has been the government’s perilous position in the polls. The surprising elements of the year that have generated these poor polls have been broken promises, breaches of trust and unfair budget measures. These elements have been multiplied by so-called marketing and communications failures. Too many of these elements recall the equivalent failures of the outgoing Gillard government. This is a new government that has patently not learned from recent history.

A good dose of humility and repentance would have served the government well at year’s end. But Abbott and Hockey did not choose to go there. Instead, under the guise of sweeping away the barnacles on the ship of state, Abbott did nothing of the kind. He gave notice that he would tweak his paid parental leave scheme but provided no details and precious little humility.

He replaced the $7 Medicare co-payment with a cut of $5 in the Medicare rebate. This makes little difference but Abbott dared to claim it would make a good policy better. Hockey, for his part, when asked whether he had made any mistakes during the year, admitted only to failures in marketing his policies and gave no evidence that he had learned any lessons about the more important mistakes in the content of those budget measures. The government missed the chance to begin 2015 with a cleaner slate.

If the failure of the government to learn from history has been a surprise, 2014 has also been a welcome, stable year in federal politics. The four main elected leaders, Prime Minister, Deputy Prime Minister and Nationals leader Warren Truss, Labor leader Bill Shorten and Greens leader Christine Milne all held their positions, despite whispers about the performance of all four. However, among unelected leaders, Governor-General Quentin Bryce has been replaced by General Peter Cosgrove and NSW Governor Marie Bashir by General David Hurley.

The federal parliament has also remained in unwelcome focus as the government struggles to pass its legislation. In 2013 the focus was on the Gillard minority government. Legislation did pass but extraordinary attention was still devoted to Rob Oakeshott, Tony Windsor, Andrew Wilkie, Adam Bandt, and Peter Slipper among others in the House of Representatives and the Greens in the Senate.

They are all now pretty much forgotten but they have been replaced in the public imagination by the antics of Clive Palmer and the Speaker, Bronwyn Bishop, in the House and the eight cross-bench senators, six of them new. Jacquie Lambie, erstwhile Palmer United Party member, stands out, but each of them has attracted some attention. John Madigan and Lambie have left their respective parties, while Nick Xenophon has started a new one. Bob Day and David Leyonhjelm have their own party labels, but behave as though they are independents.

At a deeper societal level, 2014 has been a year full of massive threats and social failures. The recent killing of the hostages in Martin Place came on top of the global threat of Islamic State, which has involved not just the commitment of Australian forces but a significant number of Australian citizens joining IS to fight in Syria and Iraq. The threats have also involved the dual Malaysian Airways tragedies with the loss of hundreds of lives, including those of about 30 Australians. There has also been a threat of a different kind, the Ebola virus in Africa, which Australians have played a part in fighting.

As dreadful as these international threats have been, the internal social failures revealed during the year should rank even higher among our concerns. Revelations by Royal Commissions and other enquiries have revealed a society riven by endemic corruption and institutional sexual abuse. Too often we fail to stand back to take in all these social failures as a whole. The enquiries have included the Royal Commission into Institutional Child Sexual Abuse, the New South Wales Independent Commission against Corruption, the Royal Commission into Trade Union Corruption, the various enquiries into sexual harassment and abuse in the armed forces and the Royal Commission into home insulation.

These revelations, to which could be added some damaging activities by financial institutions, of widespread individual and institutional failure, corruption and crime have rocked Australian society during the year but perhaps not to the extent that they should have, because most of our most reputable and respected institutions have deservedly been called to account.

As the year draws to a close, it has contained so many political issues that finding a top 10 is next to impossible. I have already mentioned child sex abuse and sexual harassment in institutions, corruption in public life, the dynamics of the new Senate, the failure of the government to pass so much of its Budget and the Malaysian Airlines tragedies.

To those five I would add the stopping of the asylum seeker and refugee boats, the compromised abolition of the carbon tax, the rise to prominence of Foreign Affairs minister Julie Bishop, associated with major free-trade deals, the G-20 and Vladimir Putin, and the beginning of the commemoration of the centenary of World War I, highlighting the military in Australian society.  Finally there have been a range of cuts: cuts in support to the motor vehicle industry, cuts to the public service and hence to Canberra, effective cuts in defence force pay and cuts to the Australian Broadcasting Corporation.

These 10 issues should make us pause over the Christmas-New Year period. We will see most of them again in 2015.

John Warhurst is an emeritus professor of political science at the Australian National University.

Politics vs democracy: The Elephant in the Room

 

 

Politics vs democracy: The Elephant in the Room.

Behind the lines. Australian cartoons from 2014

Choice of clothing

Abbott finds Burqas confronting

Budget reaction

We must reward lifters and discourage leaners

International relations

Indonesian wifes phone tapped by ASIO

Priority promises

Join the team

Red tape fashion

How much red tape can be removed?

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