Today’s COAG meeting of energy Ministers should work towards a coordinated national plan to transform Australia’s energy system.
Tag: politics
TALLAHASSEE – (CT&P) – At a press conference outside his bunker deep beneath the governor’s mansion, Florida Governor Rick Scott, surrounded by military and government officials who appeared to have been hypnotized, told reporters this morning that authorities were “hoping for the best while preparing for the worst” for the 113th time in less than 24 hours.
Pundits and pol watchers believe this sets a record for a governor saying the same fucking thing over and over again.
“We think this breaks the record set my Governor Brownback of Kansas when he said ‘a rising tide lifts all boats’ 75 times in just three days as the state’s economy went in the toilet,” said Chris Hayes of MSNBC.
“Tea Party governors in particular tend to repeat the same phrase or sentence over and over and over again in hopes that the populace is ignorant enough to buy the bullshit they’re selling.
“This situation is really not that different; Scott is trying to convince the residents of Florida that he has some grasp of what the fuck is going on, which has never been true.”
TALLAHASSEE – (CT&P) – In what pundits are calling the biggest about-face in political history, Florida Governor Rick Scott has suspended fees on all toll roads in the path of Hurricane Matthew.
“I’ve never seen anything like it,” said an incredulous Susan McManus of the University of South Florida. “Throughout his private and public life Governor Scott has been a money-grubbing bastard the likes of which the world has never seen. No way I’m believing Scott is putting human life ahead of cold hard cash.”
“This is the same man who oversaw the greatest Medicare ripoff in history,” said McManus. “I mean he went to every extreme to screw taxpayers and line his own pockets when he was running Columbia/HCA. He was known informally as “the king of fraud” within the healthcare industry.
“It was even rumored that he had people disemboweled on some kind of weird altar when they refused to go along with his schemes. I just find it hard to believe that the bastard is not trying to cash in on this hurricane. Someone needs to check out this toll booth scheme. I guarantee there’s something in it for Little Ricky.”
At a noon press conference an official from the Florida Division of Emergency Management clarified the toll road situation by saying that only white people or registered Republicans would be exempt from toll fees. All others would have to show a special identification card to use the roads.
The official said that the cards would be available free of charge at all Florida DMV offices provided the applicant presented a birth certificate and 14 other forms of identification.
WASHINGTON – (CT&P) – Director of FEMA Craig Fugate held a press conference this morning and announced that Hurricane Matthew posed a grave threat to life and limb along the east coast of Florida. He warned that Matthew had the potential to be even more destructive than Florida Governor Rick Scott, one of the most catastrophic leaders the state has ever seen.
“I know it’s hard to believe, but Matthew could cause even more heartache and loss than Governor Scott’s disastrous six-year reign of terror,” warned Fugate. “We just can’t afford to underestimate the power of this storm. If we get a direct hit it could kill more people than Scott’s refusal to expand Medicaid.”
Fugate also warned that the destruction of property could be even worse than that caused by Scott’s mule-headed refusal to believe in climate change, despite overwhelming evidence to the contrary.
“This storm could do more damage to the great State of Florida than Scott’s redistricting amendments and his attempts to deny black folks the vote combined,” said an emotional Fugate, who hails from the Gunshine State.
“Everyone should take this storm seriously and evacuate to safer, more stable areas such as Georgia or Somalia. Haven’t we suffered enough in recent years?”
Governor Scott could not immediately be reached for comment on Fugate’s remarks as he was busy conducting a human sacrifice in an attempt to appease the Aztec goddess of storms, Chalchiuhtlicue.
NEW YORK – (CT&P) – Yesterday hideous throwback and miscreant Rudy Giuliani called Donald Trump an ‘absolute genius’ for losing 916 million dollars in a boom market and then writing it off so he could avoid paying taxes for over a decade.
Giuliani, an almost universally despised human lamprey who has feasted on the blood of 9/11 victims for fifteen years, removed Trump’s penis from his fang-filled mouth long enough to defend him over and over again on a variety of Sunday shows, proving yet again that he will do anything for fame and fortune.
“The man’s a genius,” said the Trump Campaign’s lead adviser on bigotry and racism on CNN’s “State of the Union.” “He knows how to operate the tax code for the people who he’s serving, even if all those people happen to be Donald Trump,” as he wiped blood from his chin.
In this case, Mr. Giuliani added, Mr. Trump had simply acted as any bloodthirsty capitalist leech would in order to save money for his enterprises. Mr. Trump’s investors, he added, could have brought legal action or even sent former KGB assassins against Mr. Trump had he not taken advantage of the tax law’s provisions to avoid taxation.
But in an ABC News interview, Mr. Giuliani, sounding increasingly frayed, offered a remark that focused explicitly on Mrs. Clinton’s gender.
“Don’t you think a giant orange douche of a man who has this kind of economic genius is a lot better for the United States than some bitch who can’t even make it to her vehicle?” he asked.
Gov. Chris Christie of New Jersey, another ass licking adviser to Mr. Trump, argued that rather than demonstrating any kind of malfeasance, the tax records published by The Times showed Mr. Trump to be singularly qualified to overhaul the federal tax code so that the rich could steal even more cash from hardworking Americans.
Mr. Christie, who has been assigned his own zip code by the U.S. Postal Service because of his enormous fat ass said the documents supporting the report illustrated Mr. Trump’s great success in crushing the little guy while raking in as much money as possible for himself and wealthy investors.
“This is a guy who, when lots of businesses went out of business in the early 1990s, fought and clawed back to build another fortune, to create tens of thousands of more jobs, so he could fuck those people as well, and I absolutely adore him for it,” Mr. Christie said on “Fox News Sunday.”
“This is actually a very, very good story for Donald Trump,” he added. “We can spin it in very creative ways so it looks like we actually care about ‘Joe Six Pack.’ After all, most of Trump’s supporters don’t have the sense God gave a goat, so they’re easily fooled.”
With all the bad mouthing of vaccines, milk and sunscreen, science must be feeling pretty dejected.
Source: Science Is Being Bullied. It’s Time We Stuck Up For It
Hey, we feel your pain, believe me. We realize that your party has been hijacked by idiots, mouth breathers, mutant pig-boys, the mentally ill and the terminally-short-on-morals racist riffraff that started gravitating towards you when Sarah Palin made her entrance… and the Tea Party started acting like their party was your party.
I mean, it must have felt like waking up in a lifeboat full of zombie pirates.
And your ‘leadership’ sure hasn’t helped you much. They sold out to Trump not too long after calling him some pretty horrendous names… which were all true, by the way… because, hey, expediency and holding onto power ‘trumps’ actually caring about this country for people like them.
But now is the time to stand up and make a difference. You know, deep in your heart, despite all the years of FOX ‘news’ brainwashing, that Hillary isn’t going to ruin this country. And…
View original post 47 more words
By James Moylan Our politicians have sold our country out from under the feet of the citizenry. We are no longer even the primary audience that our politicians are worried about. Policies are now crafted to be suitable to the Murdoch and Fairfax organisations and the big end of town. Exclusively. Common sense does not…
Source: Why our politicians suck – » The Australian Independent Media Network
Friday September 23 2016 Murdoch Media. Where the truth goes to die. What part have newspapers played in the demise of our democracy? There was a time in my life when to miss reading The Age daily would bring on symptoms of withdrawal. Newspapers have been part of my daily life for as long as…
They say that the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree, and so it is with Donald Trump and Donald Trump Jr. The son of the Republican presidential hopeful and his first wife Ivana Trump has got himself into a spot of trouble by using a bizarre Halloween-urban-legend-esque allegory to compare Syrian refugees to a bowl of Skittles. “If I had a bowl of Skittles and I told you three would kill you, would you take a handful?” read an image he tweeted, with a picture of a big bowl of the popular sweets for emphasis.
Source: If you think Donald Trump is scary, take a look at his kids | The Independent
Populism has had the limelight in this year, but many are still making a huge mess of its meaning
Will history see the country as a pioneer of offshore prisons for asylum seekers, or a pariah for having them?
Source: Australia’s complex refugee debate – Al Jazeera English
DEER TICK, TENNESSEE – (CT&P) – “I don’t know who done forced him into saying that shit but somebody’s damn well gonna pay,” said Billy Bob McSneed during an interview with Jefferson Davis Jones, a reporter with Action 5 News out of Chattanooga.
McSneed is but one voice in a chorus of seething supporters furious over Trump’s reversal on the birther issue. He said in the interview that everyone he knows who supports the orange racist was outraged and they just didn’t believe Trump would say anything like that unless he was forced.
When asked what he and his buddies intended to do about the situation McSneed replied, “I ain’t sure yet. But tonight at the meeting I’m sure we’ll get our instructions.” McSneed was apparently referring to a mysterious weekly rally held in a remote wooded area near some abandoned strip mines outside Deer Tick.
Jones concluded the interview by asking McSneed if the shocking reversal would change his vote.
“Oh hell no,” he said, “If ole Trump ain’t elected we’re gonna raise unholy hell. The only way that bitch can win is if she cheats, and we ain’t gonna stand for that. They’ll be hell to pay I tell ya!”
CLEVELAND- (CT&P) – Herbert Schicklegruber, Trump delegate from Broward County, Florida, is still stranded in Cleveland weeks after the conclusion of the hatefest known as the GOP convention. Schicklegruber, a political activist from the outskirts of Tampa, was arrested after a party he threw in his hotel room on the opening night of the election.
It seems Schicklegruber and three prostitutes of various sexes went on an all night drug fueled sexual rampage, destroying his room in the process. The police were called after foul-smelling brown water was discovered dripping from the ceiling in the room immediately below.
Schicklegruber told the cops that things got a little out of hand after he got excited during Rudy Guiliani’s speech.
“I dig Rudy,” said Schicklegruber, “and when he said Donald Trump will do to America what he did to New York, well, to be perfectly honest I got a hard-on.”
Things apparently went downhill from there because after the speakers were finished the delegate went into a back alley and procured around $400.00 worth of methamphetamine and the aforementioned hookers.
Schicklegruber told police that he regretted his actions because he was only able to enjoy one night of the convention and he was really looking forward seeing General Flynn foam at the mouth.
Because of his financial situation and extensive record in Broward County, Schicklegruber has so far been unable to post bail and return home. His girlfriend of three weeks, Lou Anne Smegma, has made repeated entreaties to her neighbors in the Kooky Moon Trailer Park where the couple currently live.
“I’ve raised enough to cover my alcohol and cigarette expenses and I’ve put back over $25.00 bucks for Herbert,” said Smegma. “A friend of mine is gonna start a GoFundMe page next week so I hope we can get Herbert out before the election.
“He’d be heartbroken if he couldn’t vote.”
97% of the world’s scientists say they are yet to find proof that One Nation’s new Senator Malcolm Roberts lives in the real world.
Mr Roberts – who prefers to write his name “Malcolm-Ieuan: Roberts., the living soul” because he thinks the government is trying to control him through the use of grammar – made his maiden speech in parliament this week.
But most researchers agree that Mr Roberts is simply an elaborate hoax, cooked up to provide some light entertainment for the nation’s senators.
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In his speech, Mr Roberts compared himself to Socrates, saying, “I love asking questions to get to the truth”. Scientists have suggested a range of questions for Mr Roberts to ask, including, ‘Do I actually expect people to believe this shit?’, ‘Who the hell actually voted for me?”, and just to mess with him, “Did America really put a man on the moon?”.
WASHINGTON – (CT&P) – Representatives from Donald Trump’s infamous “Basket of Deplorables” are expressing their shock and sadness at Hillary Clinton calling them deplorable despite not knowing what the fuck the word even means.
“I’m not quite sure what she was talkin’ about, but I know it’s somethin’ bad,” said Milford Snodgrass of Turdwallop, South Carolina during an interview with Eleven Dead or Alive News.
Snodgrass, a despicable racist with a swastika tattoo on his forehead, is a meth cook and part-time employee of Tractor Supply in Columbia.
“I’m always gettin’ criticized for sayin’ nigger and camel jockey instead of all that politically correct bullshit. As far as I’m concerned they can shove that stuff up their ass. Hell, I’ll do it myself once Trump makes America great again!”
Suzie “Hep C” Muleshaker from Toxic Springs, Florida told CNN that she didn’t know what “deplorable” meant until a friend from a neighboring trailer told her.
“That Hillary bitch is the deplorable one,” she said. “She belongs in jail for all that computer shit and killing all those folks in Europe or wherever it was.
“I think it’s high time we white people stood up for ourselves. We’re being run over by all these lazy violent black folks and the Messicans poring across the border bringing in all that Ebola.
“When Trump gets in office I’m hoping I can get a job down at the wall manning a machine gun or something like that. It’s damn hard makin’ a livin’ around here with all these folks stealin’ our jobs.”
According to Merriam-Webster, there has been huge interest in the word “deplorable” since Clinton made the comment. The online dictionary reports that searches of the word “deplorable” increased by nearly 50,000% over the weekend.
Although he offered no specific information on who was doing the searching, a representative from the company told Rachel Maddow of MSNBC that he was relatively sure they weren’t from the “better educated” demographic.
The Greens walked out on Pauline Hanson’s senate speech yesterday, even though she pretty-much created the whole thing from re-used materials.
Critics have called the Greens hypocritical after not recognising a fantastic recycling initiative when it’s right in front of them. “Most senators in her position would come up with an entirely new speech, using new material they had created over the past two decades,” one observer said.
“But Ms Hanson instead chose to pull her old speech from out of the cupboard, adding just a few very minor changes. There’s basically nothing new in here at all. I’m surprised the Greens weren’t impressed.
Only white men over the age of 21 will be eligible to vote in the upcoming same-sex marriage plebiscite, in keeping with the traditional definition of voting.
Liberal MP Kevin Andrews told the media that it was a common sense approach to February’s poll, as “that’s the traditional way voting has occurred going back generations”.
Some critics however argue that allowing all white adult men to vote is a step too far. They believe New South Wales’s original voting eligibility definition of “men over 21 years of age with £100 free–hold, £10 annual value householders, 3 year lease of £10 annual value, or depasturing licence,” is more appropriate.
“Let’s not meddle with a system that has clearly worked well for years,” one critic said.
Mr Andrews responded to those critics, arguing passionately that all men, regardless of the value of their free-hold, should be able to participate in a democratic society.
NEW YORK – (CT&P) – Former New Mexico governor, Libertarian Party presidential nominee, and dedicated stoner Gary Johnson broke his pledge today not to smoke pot before the election in November.
Johnson appeared to be totally baked on Morning Joe this morning when he was interviewed by Mike Barnacle, a frequent guest on the show.
Barnacle was quizzing Johnson on the situation in the Middle East when he asked what the candidate would do about Aleppo.
“About who?” asked Johnson from behind a pair of dark sunglasses.
“Aleppo,” replied Barnacle.
“What’s Aleppo dude?”
“You’re kidding.”
“No.” said Johnson. “What the fuck are you talking about Mike?”
As Barnacle was shaking his head in disbelief, Johnson stared off in the distance and appeared to be deep in thought. Then a light bulb seemed to go on in his head, and he broke out in a huge smile.
“Ohhhh, I’m with you now Mike. Sorry, I’m a little buzzed. Yeah, I have an Aleppo. I used it this morning to fire up my bong.”
When Barnacle explained that he was talking about a city in Syria and not a lighter, Johnson turned serious and told him that although he had no idea what was going on in Aleppo he thought Syria was “one hot mess.”
“I don’t see why those folks can’t just sit down, chill out, and love one another,” said Johnson as he furiously scratched the top of his head.
Barnacle ended the interview after Johnson asked for some potato chips and dip for the third time in as many minutes.
Breaking his pledge could be a serious blow to Mr. Johnson’s campaign, just as he is making a final push to improve his standing in the polls. His support needs to reach 15 percent in a series of major national polls to be included in the presidential debates.
On Twitter the question “What is Aleppo?” is trending, with many critics arguing that Mr. Johnson has disqualified himself from the presidency. However, the RNC has already approached Johnson about running for governor in Colorado.
Every time I hear party mouthpieces like Dutton and Morrison tell me what Australian people want, what we “know”, I have to fight an overwhelming urge to scream. What the Australian people know is that the body politic is rotten. In December 2012, retired judge and anti-corruption campaigner, Tony Fitzgerald, wrote a scathing article in…
Source: Who would you trust? – » The Australian Independent Media Network
MEXICO CITY – (CT&P) – GOP presidential candidate and village idiot Donald Trump is traveling to Mexico to meet with President Enrique Peña Nieto Wednesday afternoon, shortly before the nominee is slated to give another incoherent speech on immigration in Phoenix.
The trip, which Mr. Trump announced late Tuesday and which was confirmed by the office of Mr. Peña Nieto, follows an invitation the Mexican president sent Friday to both Mr. Trump and Democratic nominee Hillary Clinton, according to Mr. Peña Nieto’s office. The president’s office said the invitation “was well received by both campaign teams.”
Mr. Trump told Wolf Blitzer of CNN earlier today that it was important to make the trip because the election was going to be close and he needed to garner all the Electoral College votes he could.
“I want the Mexican people to know that even though I intend to build a thousand mile 35 foot high impenetrable wall between our countries that deep down I’m a compassionate and reasonable guy and I’ll do my best to find jobs in Mexico for the 16 million men, women, and children I plan to uproot and ship back south,” said Trump, while making weird hand gestures with his minuscule digits.
“I’m confident that once I talk to President Nieto and hold a rally in Mexico City I can convince the population, which is made up almost entirely of criminals, to vote for me so I can grab those all important electoral votes,” said the giant bipedal turd.
GOP strategist and adviser to the Evan McMillan campaign Rick Wilson appeared on MSNBC shortly after Trump’s comments on CNN and told viewers that never in the history of the United States has the country been saddled with such a moronic candidate.
“The man is like a orange chimpanzee on crack,” said Wilson. “Not only is Trump a racist xenophobe who treats women as property, but he’s an imbecile of epic proportions.”
“The only people who would score lower on an IQ test might be his supporters. I’ve seen bovines that were more intelligent. Folks who support this pitiful excuse for a human being will be trying to wash off the stench for the rest of their lives.”
Mr. Trump is scheduled to meet with President Nieto sometime late this afternoon. The exact time and place of the meeting is being kept secret in order to keep gunfire and explosions to a minimum.
Hackers released a treasure trove of unpleasant internecine emails on the eve of the Democratic National Convention. The Democratic Party chairwoman was out of a job and tensions between Hillary Clinton and Bernie Sanders supporters were reignited just as the Democrats were trying for a prime-time show of unity. Who were the hackers? Security experts inside and outside the government have pointed the finger at Russia. So, was this an act foreign aggression playing out on a strange new battlefield?
Source: The Kremlin may be more involved in U.S. politics than you realize
Iran is seriously mistrusted by Israel and America. North Korea protects its nuclear secrets and is ruled by an erratic, vicious man. Vladimir Putin’s territorial ambitions alarm democratic nations. The newest peril, Isis, the wild child of Islamists, has shocked the whole world. But top of this list should be Saudi Arabia – degenerate, malignant, pitiless, powerful and as dangerous as any of those listed above.
Source: The evil empire of Saudi Arabia is the West’s real enemy
TALLAHASSEE – (CT&P) – Florida governor and ancient Aztec snake god Rick Scott held a press conference this morning and pledged to take action to eradicate Zika mosquitoes invading the Miami area.
Frustrated by the inability of President Obama and Congress to take decisive action Governor Scott, known as Quetzalcoatl or “Feathered Serpent” to his inner circle, promised the residents of Florida and Greater Cretonia that he would personally fight the mosquitoes by adjusting his diet and feeding schedule.
In recent years Scott has almost exclusively consumed the infant offspring of illegal farm workers kept as slaves in Florida’s godforsaken panhandle area. Scott usually devours one baby or toddler per month.
However, as part of his new plan to contain the mosquito-borne virus Scott told reporters that he would start eating insects again like he did when he was a young snake.
“I used to eat thousands of flying insects, roaches, grasshoppers”, you name it,” hissed the Governor. “I’ll forego eating kids for a few months until this crisis passes. It’s the least I can do for my constituents.”
So far there has been no reaction from the CDC on the new plan.
The Prime Minister was shocked after viewing the footage on “Four Corners” last night. Shocked. And appalled. Footage showing young offenders being tear-gassed, stripped, beaten and generally given the sort of treatment that qualifies as torture if we were so silly as to use the UN definition of torture. Whatever, given that he announced his…
CLEVELAND – (CT&P) – White evangelical voters overwhelmingly back Donald Trump for president, according to a new poll released last Wednesday.
Trump, the presumptive GOP presidential nominee, has 78 percent support among registered voters who identify as white evangelical Protestants, while Hillary Clinton, widely considered to be the Antichrist, has 17 percent, a Pew Research Center Survey found.
Fifty-five percent said they “strongly support” Trump, while twenty-three percent said they were wavering between him and Jesus Christ, the presumptive Son of God.
“It’s a tough call,” said Grover McCluck of Forlorn Hope, West Virginia. “I’ve always supported Jesus, but look at how many Messicans and Mooselims he’s allowed to come into our country. I tell ya’ I’m more than a little disappointed with this whole ‘love thy neighbor’ crap. It costing us too many jobs.
“Hell, I lost my job at the coal mine ’cause of all them Hispanic kids pouring across the border,” said McCluck, as he coughed up small bits of lung.
The Reverend Franklin Graham, evangelist and hypocritical turd, told CNN that he didn’t find the shift from Jesus to Donald surprising at all.
“Look, we uber Christians talk a good game, but when it comes down to it, our main goal is to amass as much wealth as possible. After all, we’re not idiots. We’re not going to let a bunch of hooey from the New Testament get in the way of our lifestyle, now are we?”
When asked if evangelicals would not be considered hypocrites for supporting such a hideous human being for president, Graham just laughed and said, “You really are naive, aren’t you?”
“We think that Trump’s fascist plans for deportation, tax breaks for the rich, and alienation of every minority in the United States will allow us white folks to be in power for decades to come, and that bodes well for our pocketbooks. In short, money talks and bullshit walks!”
The same poll showed surprisingly little support among black evangelicals.
“We’re not so easily fooled by idiots making ridiculous promises,” explained Cornell Brooks, president of the NAACP.
“We’ve been dealing with that bullshit for over 200 years.”
In another historic milestone, the US Republican Party have nominated Donald Trump as their Presidential candidate, putting the 70 year-old little boy just one step away from the nation’s highest office.
If elected, Donald would become the first toddler to hold the role, bettering George W Bush, who had completed junior school when he took office.
On accepting the nomination, Donald said he wanted to make America great again, and build lots of big walls, and keep all the meanies out, and make lots and lots of money, and yeah! He said he had all the best planes and toys and helicopters and that Hillary Clinton was a dummy, and that he had lots of money, so there.
Republican supporter Jake Ramfield said he was impressed. “He’s such a talented and confident little boy. Isn’t it wonderful to think that he could soon have the nuclear codes”.
“I have come to the conclusion that there is no military solution to this issue that can be generated by the U.S. But I believe there is a political solution.” How to think about the next war, as we consider getting into it.
Source: On the Impossibility of Fighting ISIS – The Atlantic
Barnaby Joyce, quite possibly deputy prime minister.
One Nation leader Pauline Hanson has been hospitalised and was in a serious condition tonight after discovering some people are simultaneously Asian and Muslim.
“Until now she just assumed they were two separate evils that could be tackled individually. The realisation hit her pretty hard,” a One Nation staffer said.
“When you consider that Asians are ruining Australia and Muslims are ruining Australia too, who knows what sort of damage an Asian Muslim could do to this country. We could be swamped by terrorists”.
He said staffers held back from informing Ms Hanson that the number of people containing both attributes may run into the hundreds of millions. “I’m not sure she would have survived that statistic,” he said.
Thom Mitchell: ACF Gives Coalition A Fail Mark On The Environment
“The Australian Conservation Foundation has eviscerated the Coalition’s environment policies, giving the Government just 14 out of a possible hundred points going into election day.
The Coalition’s fail mark is less than a quarter of Labor’s score of 62, and around one seventh of the Greens leading score of 95. With less than a week until polling day, the Foundation will now refocus its efforts to “let Australians know where the parties stand,” saying it will send 50,000 text messages on election day.
Commenting on the release of the scorecard this morning, ACF Chief Executive Officer Kelly O’Shannassy hit out at the Government for running a “small target strategy” on climate change, and noted “its mark of 14 is well below a pass”.
Guest columnist Peta Credlin
The sloppiness, the infighting, the slip-ups. The lack of any ‘plan B’ for the marriage equality plebiscite. These things would never have happened in my years as Prime Minister.
Do these people even know how to run a campaign? I don’t think so. We’ve got backbenchers contradicting one another, Ministers not being able to articulate policies. Who’s in charge here? Who’s the campaign manager? When I was Prime Minister, I had the best campaign manager. Me.
But since the events of last September, when Turnbull overthrew me to take the top job, well, things have become an absolute debacle. Some saw him as the Messiah. But I knew how this would play out. He’s all show and no substance. Doesn’t have the guts or the grunt to succeed under the pressure of a campaign like I did. Doesn’t have a Chief of Staff like I did either (P. Credlin).
Look, I hope he wins. I really do. But if it’s close, if he slips up, don’t be surprised if the party starts asking for me to put my hand up for the leadership again. They’re only human.
Islamic State’s claim of responsibility for the Orlando mass shooting may be nothing more than a propaganda move to capitalize on a massacre perpetrated by a lone-wolf attacker who could have had no direct links to the terror group, security experts told RT.
Republican presumptive Presidential nominee Donald Trump has called for tighter controls on Muslims, in an embarrassing gaffe yesterday. He meant tighter controls on guns.
In a mistake-riddled speech, Mr Trump said, “When I’m President, people won’t just be subject to stricter background checks. I’ll totally stop people immigrating from Muslim countries altogether”. He meant he’d stop people buying machine guns.
Visibly fatigued due to an exhausting schedule, Mr Trump told his audience, “I called for a ban on Muslims after San Bernadino”. He meant semi-automatic weapons.
In a final embarrassing gaffe, Mr Trump said, “The shooter was born Afghan”. He meant, ‘The shooter was born in New York’.
After almost four months of vetting and voting, Americans have successfully narrowed down their entire population to the two citizens they like least.
The painstaking process, which began in Iowa in February, occurs once every four years, and is regarded as the world’s most extensive democratically-run search for abhorred people.
“It’s an exhausting, state-by-state process. But when you’ve got over 300 million citizens, it’s always going to take some time to narrow it down to the top two most hated people,” electoral analyst Hugo Tansin said.
Tansin explained that the system – known as the Primaries – starts with a short list of 30-40 despicable people, who are then meticulously scrutinized, before being voted off one by one to find the most despised man and woman.
“It’s a very thorough process, and a very fair and effective one. It’s just a strange quirk of the system that one of these people happens to then go on to become the leader of our nation”.
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