Tag: first dog

Humour

Would you like to try these delicious racist snacks with your Australia Day barbie? Thanks for coming! Are you hungry? We baked this Australia flag cake. It’s a traditional recipe using flour laced with arsenic

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Humour

And now for the Border Force awards, celebrating cruelty, obfuscation and neglect The First Dog on the Moon Institute proudly presents the Predatory Excellence Medal, the Abyan, the Valorous Dutton Button and more!

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Humour

Is it sexist against men? First Dog moonsplains sexism. If you look at recent incidents of sexism in isolation, you shouldn’t Imagine each incident is one sexist profiterole which can be made into an enormous patriarchal croquembouche

https://i.guim.co.uk/img/media/1f38c411270f34bbf93b41baea72a8f5d06a3a33/0_0_2400_4247/master/2400.jpg?w=940&q=85&auto=format&sharp=10&s=0164f2ad31b4a3ba8c776cdd9cccb457

Humour, Uncategorized

Afraid of guns? Buy more guns! The circle of life in America The first female president of the USA might actually get something done about gun control. Unless Donald Trump wins, then everyone really will need a gun

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Humour, Uncategorized

Can First Dog on the Moon save Canberra from Post Tony Stress Disorder? The honeymoon is over and Malcolm Turnbull’s gloss is wearing off. But even if underneath he is made of asbestos, he still will not be Tony Abbott

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Humour

First Dog on the Moon’s handy guide to the difference between Uber and taxis One hands out mints, but also knows your name, address and mobile number. The other allows you to run away without paying. Which do you choose?

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Humour

Melbourne Cup 2015: a heartwarming, rags to riches rollicking horsey tale While Michelle Payne’s victory is a great story, horse racing is a cruel sport for greedy idiots. What is a cartoonist to do?

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Humour

Malcolm Turnbull is everything Australia ever wanted A hush fell across Australia … everyone was relaxed and comfortable at last. The years of political bloodbaths were over

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Humour

Pack my shirtfront, and don’t forget the onions! Tony Abbott goes to Great Britain A tide of humanity is sweeping Europe and only one man can stop them: the recently-deposed Australian prime minister

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Humour

Free speech champion Biff Bootface in: ‘Mystery on Guano Island’ Grit, bravery and journalistic integrity land Biff Bootface, senior culture war correspondent for the National Standard, his toughest assignment yet

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Humour

Was Joe Hockey a well-meaning bumbler or a sadistic pompous braggart? On Wednesday, Australia farewelled one of the [fill in the blank] of Australian politics. Does anybody care?

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Humour

‘I was raped on Nauru I have been very sick. Please help me’ Abyan, a Somali refugee woman raped on Nauru, said in a statement she ‘never saw a doctor’ before being secretly returned by plane

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Humour

Doctor, I love you. And I want to get the kiddies out of immigration detention Love in the Time of Indefinite Detention – starring Primrose Sprinkles as Dr Guinevere Bravely-Friande and Lance Fudbuggler as token love interest Nurse Hottington

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Humour

The Trans-Pacific partnership will shut down all your kitten hospitals It’s hard to get people angry about a secret and incredibly boring trade agreement so here’s the truth: it will let corporations kill and eat us all

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Humour

Who needs a UN special rapporteur when we have Transfield’s incident reporting protocol? The impact of the Border Force Act is greatly overstated. Transfield encourages all employees to report abuse. They can write their concerns on a rock, for example

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Humour

Ahmed Mohamed: it’s a clock with a built-in racism detector I think we have all learnt an important lesson from this situation which is that ‘brown’ people with aspirations are dangerous

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Humour

Confused about the Canning byelection? Read on to become more confused The future of Australia depends on the Canning by-election. Let Guardian Australia’s resident marsupial psephologist First Dog on the Moon explain why

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Humour

Citizens of Melbourne, Border Force is concerned for your safety Border Force can assure you, fear is a great motivator. Ask anyone on a 46% rating in the polls. Wait, did we say that out loud?

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Humour

Joe Hockey’s budget emergency, brought to you by playdough and an old shoe box Joe Hockey spoke some words today. Some people appeared to be listening, others not so much

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Humour

Lawyer up! Greenies are here to vigilante your coal mine into oblivion! A hemp-flavoured coalition of lawyers, activists and seabirds has successfully seen off Adani’s humongous coal mine on a minor technicality called ‘the law’

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Humour

You’re invited to our nefarious party fundraiser. Dress code: raccoon Who has time to read invitations or diaries these days with all the royal commissions and important speeches taking up our time?

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Humour

A plebiscite on issues including same-sex marriage, tax reform, jeggings In response to the deadlock over same-sex marriage, the Tony government may (or may not) hold a plebiscite, after which they might possibly, perhaps (but likely not) change their position

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Humour

Settle down, backbenchers! You all know polls are just numbers, right? What do we do when we’re faced with numbers we don’t like? This is the Tony government: we just pretend they don’t exist or say something different

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Humour

A presentation on Bronwyn Bishop’s legacy from Fiona the Unemployed Bettong : Bronwyn Bishop, your final gift to the nation is to bring the already degraded institution of parliament into further disrepute. (Is this a bit over the top?)

ReturnToPlanetBronwyn - First Dog on the Moon cartoon on Bronwyn Bishop resigning as speaker

Humour

Australia, please join me in the kitchen. It’s time for an intervention Sit down Australia, we need to have a chat. We care about you so much, but we’re worried someone is going to get hurt

first dog on the moon intervention cartoon

Humour

Why do you boo Adam Goodes? . It is 2015 and thousands of white Australians are booing an outspoken Aboriginal footballer. But don’t say it’s racist – you’ll hurt everyone’s feelings

Humour

We had this weird sense of deja vu when we heard Labor’s asylum policy The ALP conference paid no attention to the lessons of history when passing asylum policy last weekend. Why are they so bad at this?

Humour

Trouble providing healthcare to asylum seekers? Get the excuse bag! When you’re the healthcare contractor to Australia’s detention centres, and you’re struggling to meet your KPIs, it’s time to grab a convenient explanation from the bag

Humour

The sniff test: an ode to Madam Speaker :I don’t know why there’s all this fuss – for pollies rort, ‘twas ever thus.

Humour

What will I cartoon about if I can’t cartoon about Tony government outrage? Do people only read these cartoons to have their biases reflected back to them as a series of poignant vignettes with marsupials?

Humour

Bill Shorten at the royal commission: can I please have a straw? To prepare for his appearance at the trade unions royal commission, opposition leader Bill Shorten undergoes ‘realness’ training, with mixed results

Humour

Q&A, day 143. Live from hell Good evening government-approved audience, please welcome tonight’s guests on our bipartisan IPA-approved panel

Humour

Tanks in the streets! Martial law! What has Q&A done!? First the inquiry. Then the inquiry into the inquiry. Then the Zaky Mallah royal commission. And then? All hail Emperor Tony!

Humour

Keep Australia safe, by having your citizenship checked regularly The year is 2019, and the Abbott government is in its third term. All Australians must pass citizenship tests or have their undies confiscated

Humour

Go home Labor, you’re drunk. And basically evil:Does Labor serve any purpose other than to rubber stamp the Abbott government’s decisions and wait for their turn to be in power?

Humour

We got some bad news today : Sure, he’s 15 years old and has lived longer than we thought he would. But he’s our dog and we’re really going to miss him

Humor

Week in review: monstrous incompetence is the new black : Rule of law, attorney general’s office, the Pope, crossbench senators and Bill Shorten – in the bin, the lot of you!

Humour

Pay the boats: a cartoon about nothing at all :Isn’t it amazingly amazing that Tony Abbott once claimed paying people smugglers was aiding terrorism? And now this

Humour

Want a job that pays good money? Join the immigration department! Simply complete this questionnaire to see if you’re a monstrous moral vacuum suitable for a job at the Department of Immigration and Border Protection

Humour

Gather around young and old. It’s time for Australia’s favourite holiday: The 4th of June is a special day, when Australians everywhere tie on purple ribbons and let their hearts swell with pride

Humour

The reasoned, considered arguments against same-sex marriage :Gay people have been living right under our very heterosexual noses for years. Now they’re on the verge of getting married! Unbelievable!

Humour

First Dog on budget 2015: how to forget how bad last year’s one was. This year’s budget wasn’t as Mad Max as last year’s. Neither was it that nice. Really it was pretty boring and now we have to hear all about it

Budget 2015

Humour

Memes and listicles for all: the 2015 budget is going viral : What’s a government to do when a nation turns off its brains and doesn’t want to hear good economic sense? Call in the Internet Budget Action Force Squad!

First Dog on the Moon

Humour

Christine Milne has resigned the Greens leadership. Oh, the humanity!:Christine Milne will retire from the Senate before 2016, and will be replaced by OH MY GOD A WATERMELON THAT WANTS TO TAX THE RICH

First Dog on the Moon

Humour

Un-Australian crimes against patriotism, feat. the Anzacs:Didn’t the diggers die for our right to call them unpatriotic things? Didn’t they?

Woop woop – that’s the sound of the police.

Humour

It’s always too soon to be exhausted by cruelty : What a terrible, barbaric time. How will we find the energy to press on?

First Dog on the Moon

Humour

They sang Amazing Grace :‘They sang a few songs together, like in a choir,’ Pastor Karina de Vega said of the eight prisoners executed in Indonesia overnight

Rest in peace.

Humour

Rescue dogs fostered by First Dog on the Moon: a short history :The dogs arrive at our house in various conditions, freaked out and nervous. Some have been neglected. But we give them all a warm welcome

First Dog on the Moon

Humour

Un-Australian crimes against patriotism, feat. the Anzacs : Didn’t the diggers die for our right to call them unpatriotic things? Didn’t they?

Woop woop – that’s the sound of the police.

Humour

Finish this sentence: I suppose we must grieve for the lost, but .. Once you start grieving, where do you stop? If we grieve for dead refugees, everyone will want some!

first dog grieve