Abbott’s definitely been heard but how have they been listening?

‘I’d grab the bastard’

Posted by: 3AW Online | 14 October, 2014 – 9:47 AM
Neil Mitchell was overwhelmed, but not surprised, by the generosity of his listeners today.The man who wrote a scathing column of Australian Prime Minister Tony Abbott in a Russian newspaper has gone further in an email exchange with the Neil Mitchell program.

Timothy Bancroft-Hinchey said Mr Abbott “displays a degree of insolence, arrogance and incompetence” and said Russian president Vladimir Putin should “sterilise his hand” after shaking the Australian leader’s hand in a Pravda column.

RELATED: Ross and John go through the Pravda editorial

The Neil Mitchell program conducted the following interview with Bancroft-Hinchey via email, in which he praises MasterChef Australia and recommends Mr Putin should “grab the bastard” in the unlikely scenario Mr Abbott does attempt a shirtfront.

How would the average Russian respond to Tony Abbott saying he would ‘shirtfront’ Vladimir Putin?

Well, any Russian or anyone else for that matter would question whether Abbott made the remark before or after lunch. If he made it before lunch then either he is childish or mentally challenged and if he made it after lunch then he is incompetent.

How would Vladimir Putin react to being ‘shirtfronted’?

I cannot speak for Vladimir Vladimirovich but if I were him, I’d grab the bastard that did it, slam him over my shoulder, place my boot in his face and ask “You were saying…?”

Vladimir Putin is world-renowned for his judo expertise — would he use that on Mr Abbott if he was ‘shirtfronted’? 

Well, I cannot speak for President Putin but he certainly has the skills to react adequately to such an act of aggression. I am not saying he would do so, basically because Abbott wouldn’t have the guts anyway. As soon as he saw Putin looking at him he’d triple his laundry bill, suddenly turn white, sit bolt upright and go screaming over to his sister’s house to grab a clean pair of Y fronts.

Could Vladimir Putin being ‘shirtfronted’ cause an international incident?

Well it would be an act of aggression, common assault and would render the perpetrator liable for prosecution as a criminal. Figures…figures…

Do you feel Tony Abbott is unhygienic (more than once you advocate that Mr Putin wash his hands after interacting with Tony Abbott)?

Well who knows? The guy doesn’t seem to have that much going for him at present, now does he?

What does the show ‘Neighbours’ say about the Australian people?

Well Neighbors is a soap which projects what the Australians want others to believe about the way they live. I do have some family and friends in Australia, though I have more in New Zealand, and would not be surprised if the community based approach was spot on.

What does the show ‘Masterchef’ say about Australia?

Well the Australian Masterchef with those three judges, Garry, George and Matt Preston is extremely popular outside Australia and is my favorite TV show. I like it because people are nice to each other, they are pleasant and the judges are careful not to humiliate the guests, always finding something positive to say about their meals or else giving them constructive criticism. This differs greatly with other Masterchef productions which seem to focus on insulting the cooks and making them feel small and inadequate. I seriously hope Australian Masterchef continues for many years to come…it’s also an excellent source of recipes for those of us who like cooking.

Who do you feel was responsible for the downing of MH-17, and do leaders such as Tony Abbott know more than they are letting on?

Actually after Abbott’s remarks in recent days I get the idea the guy has issues and to be honest feel he may need therapy. Maybe he should try Veganism for a while to see if he can calm down a bit. I doubt he has a clue what is going on in Ukraine after his statements. What I said in my article explains the history of the conflict and in any civilized country you wait for the investigation to conclude before spouting off and firing in all directions. I guess the guy might make a competent hands-on Mayor of a small town somewhere but the Head of Government? Jesus, I could do a better job myself.